Nursing Application Essay (PLEASE HELP)

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I am applying for the spring start at my school and with the application an essay has to be written on "Why I Want To Be A Nurse"? I've always been interested in Nursing since I was a kid. I enjoy helping people and desire to impact the lives of others in a positive way. But I know this is a cliche answer and won't grasp the attention of the nursing board when they are reviewing apps. When I was 11 years old I developed a cataract in my eye and it turned my eye color blueish gray. I was teased as a kid alot about this and had numerous procedures but none of them brought my vision back completely in that eye. The school nurse was like my bestfriend during this hard time in my life and she encouraged me everyday and told me that my situation didn't define who I was then or who I was going to be. I admired her and enjoyed being in her presence so much that I would fake sick to be sent to the nurses office just to hang out with her to free myself of the bullying. She would let me play with her stethescope and she showed me how to check blood pressures and read a thermometer. Since then i have always had nursing in my mind because i want to be for others what she was for me during that rough patch in my life. Nursing can be a rewarding career and I want to be apart of it but I am just not sure of the right words to put together for my essay or even how to start off. PLEASE HELP

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Specializes in Addictions, psych, corrections, transfers.

Use what you just wrote. A story like that would get my eyes on your application.

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Really?? You think so. Thank you for your input. :) !

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What about this for my essay?

When I was 12 years old I developed a cataract in one of my eyes and it caused my eye to turn blueish gray. I was teased and bullied at school because of this. One day after lunch the school nurse noticed me crying in the hallway and asked "What's the matter sweetie?" I told her that kids were teasing me because of my eye and calling me names so she took me to her office. She sat me near her desk and told me that I was beautiful and that my eye did not define who I was or who I would turn out to be. From that day forward she checked in on me everyday and allowed me to eat my lunch with her in her office. She let me play with her stethoscope and showed me how to use a thermometer. I admired her and enjoyed being with her everyday. She became a role model to me during a hard time in my life and she encouraged me everyday to hold my head high. I had cataract surgery and missed a ton of school for different procedures and she would always send me get well cards and put cute little nursing stickers inside them. I will never forget the impact she had on my life. At 12 years old I knew that I wanted to be a nurse because I developed a true passion for caring for others just as much as Nurse Beth cared for me. I want to be for others what she was for me during a rough patch in my life.

My ultimate goal is to earn my BSN. I desire to one day work as a Labor & Delivery Nurse or in the Postpartum unit in a Birth Center. My passion and drive to improve the lives of others will help me in becoming a great nurse.

What do you think?

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Specializes in Cardiac Care.

I like it. Send it.

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Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro.

Make sure to proofread -- I see many grammatical/spelling errors. For example in the part about your surgery is a run-on sentence. "Everyday" as a single word is the opposite of special, as in everyday jeans vs an evening gown. Something that happens daily is "every day." Several compound sentences are missing a comma before the conjunction.

You want it to look professional, which includes proper grammar. Otherwise, I think the content is good.

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