Doubts that went to your core and haunted you relentlessly through nursing school about whether this was what you were really meant to do? So much so that you said, "Well, if I'm in THIS much doubt it can't be right!" But you just kept going b/c you didn't know what else to do, and you were invested in it, and you didn't want to let people down? Were there other things you KNEW you were better at, had more affinity for, but you desperately needed the job? Did it just all seem so complicated?
Anyone have doubts like that in nursing school, but just kept going anyway? And now you have survived becoming a nurse and years later, still love it?
PS. It's not patient care that I feel funny with. It's Nursing Culture (perfect!! SuperNurse!! Achieve!! BetterBetter Best!) and feeling like I don't fit into it..I'm artistic and introverted and very deep. It all seems more like an extrovert's game. Is this just nursing school?
I do like patient care.
Happy nurses: do any of you see yourself in me?
It's not just about becoming trained so I can get a "job." My decision to do this was the product of some profound spiritual logic in the center of my soul that took many years to unfold. Yes, the status of the professional role appeals to me, but the BS of it repels me. And more importantly, underneath all that, I associate nursing with service and humility, bordering on religiousity... and the hyper-reality of--(...god?...). Which is what I think my deepest self is after.... It IS complicated for me. Strong egos are rewarded in thenursing school environment. Maybe the nursing school experience is forcing me to confront my ego? I feel so invisible, so insecure...in my former job, which I was very good at, my ego was absolutely fed. Comfort zone all the way... Yeah, this IS therapy stuff, I know...but I want to hear from nurses.
What do y'all say? Hold the snark, b/c it is really scary to ask this.