While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant.
I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. Now I am totally burned out, on major meds, and am seeking disability d/t depression/anxiety.
I beleive years of long hours, high stress, high expectations and little appreciation (from management, not patients) has contributed to this.
How many other jobs consider you a tratior b/c you call in sick? And trying to get off for a sick child is an unforgivable sin. How many other jobs want you to work overtime on the days you are scheduled, call you at all hours of the night or day when you are off, first pleading w/ you to come in, then laying a guilt trip on you if you say "NO!" And let's not forget the mandatory inservices and CEU's that take time away from your family.
If any profession should understand the importance of the individuals' physical, mental, social and spiritual self it should be nursing--after all we are taught in nursing school about treating the patient as a whole, not just a disease! Why don't we treat our staff the same way.
OK, duh, you got me. I realized just this conversation is making me tense. I'm getting to defensive. I apologize. I'll go take a chill, I think and come back when I'm more sane. (maybe even put some hoilday cheer up!!!!!)
I have been away, and maybe no right here, do I have to say,
maybe I should go back and read previous pages....
or maybe not.....
as anger and flames, I don't got.....
but what I see is adults acting _______, _________, and _________ ........or maybe that is just me.....
and as you know micro doesn't know what she is talking about.......
so care or not.....that is just micro me.........
what another person thinks, types, says or feels is only a problem to me if I let it be.......
and if I agree with what is said, then it is another walker in this life that I have found to share this walk with, my friends.....
but I am only just beginning to learn, and maybe just maybe this time, I will retain, some of the wisdom that have been so freely given to me.........
or I can keep on with the blame.........of others and not look at me.........
oh, my I am afraid I have said too much already, so quit, I better do very quickly!!!!!!!!!
but to borrow a couple phrases from some friends of mine.....and my own.......
do what you must do to be healthy and free
doo waah ditty'
and seagulls do fly and are indeed free'
love to all and more to some
especially me'
micro:p
prozac, lots of fluid, sleep, eat right, exercise, seagulls and one day at a time = whatever it takes to keep your right mind.....or maybe it is just me.........
please noone take offense from micro, I am just being me':stone
Hey - before I read everyones post, I ws out drinking last night for the first time since last spring. A nurse from work took me out and we partied hard and I drank about 2.5 L of beer, and then came home and got online and said something stupid about communism as a shock statement. I was drunk, and it was the first and only time I will ever get online when I have drunk. i am sorry cargal, because I ws just drunk and said the stupidest thing I could possibly say. Mario got online drunk, went to allnurses, read something about ignoring, and posted the stupidest thing he could think of saying; It was wrong, and I hope everyone can forgive me. I'm ashamed, and I will never do that again.
I will never go on line drunk again. it was a celebration for a winter quarter well done. I said stupidest thing, no sense at all. I swear to allnurses.com to never, ever come on line after drinking again. Please forgive me.
Mario - poor, Mario, all this stuff directed at you, but I think we are doing what you ask. True, bad idea to get on drunk but many of us agreed with you. Then you went and deleted that cool posting - were you hungover? Sometimes it is a good idea to not do things when you are hung over as well. I speak only from experience.
Sphinx, micro, everyone else - I hear me when I hear you. Sometimes it's the me from yesterday, sometimes it's the me from today. But, I hear me. I suspect I hear me even more in Mario which is why I have reacted.
Youda always seems one step ahead of me.
Sphinx - as I read the post you thought was directed at you, I started thinking, "she's talking about me."
But, one thing I think I've learned - and I may be wrong - with all this acceptance and understanding there are still sometimes when someone steps on my toes. It is my responsibilbity to myself to tell those people to step off.
When I was depressed, I could never do it. I may be overcompensating these days but I think I may be headed in the right direction.
Thanks to you all for being such good teachers. Or angels. Either word fits.
I agree, Anne. This is a cool thread. I missed a couple of days, so I had to go back and read everyone's posts since my last post. I see everyone sharing, being open, and mindful of each others' feelings! I love you all! You make my heart glad.
sphinx, I do the same thing. I usually have to go away (you call it ignore) for a little while to understand what I'm feeling, to decide why I'm feeling it, and what I want to do about it, if anything. I don't have the "automatic transmission" in my head. I have to do it all manually, so to speak.
I think that guy was baiting you because YOU were pushing HIS buttons! It sounds like being ignored is HIS problem, so when you ignored him, he had to keep acting out until he got a response. He needs the spanking he should have gotten as a kid!
So much to say and tell you all. Anne said it best, when you talk it is me talking, too. Tonight I am tired, but I wanted to tell you all thanks. Your words, everyone of them, every post, has helped me in someway.
I deleted it because of fear. Soviet Union and Communism are considered "badspeak." this thread is about depression and nursing, and no place to jeer anyone with a "off-color" remark. I ignored myself, just to demonstrate how ignoring and deletion are different. You might can ignore something in your mind, but some things can not be deleted. I can create, ignore and destroy, see? You can too. BB day order doubleplusungood.
Well, all I know is that the internet is an easy place to get your buttons pushed/push someone elses buttons. You miss a lot without the face to face contact and visual.verbal cues. Yet in my case, if this were not the internet, I'd not be having these conversations at all. You all have been very helpful to me, your words have meaning and make me think.
Hope it's a happy week for everyone. I *still* haven't done my Christmas shopping, and we should be decorating our tree tonight or tomorrow (finally picked it out yesterday). Phew, maybe that will help!!
Have fun Christmas shopping! I usually enjoy that. It's funny though. I'm pretty sure that my depression has "lifted" thanks to several things. As a result, my family has gotten very upset with me. They know something is wrong - I'm different than I once was.
They don't like it when I respond - "Well, once I was suicidally depressed and you didn't think there was anything wrong. Is that what you prefer?"
They tell me I'm picking fights. When they tell me they like me better suicidally depressed, I wonder.
Oh well. Less presents to buy.
BTW. I've read George Orwell, I think double-speak is not a good language. I've also read parts of Alice through the Looking Glass. The Queen of Hearts thought words should mean whatever she wanted them to. I read it a long time ago (around the same time as 1984) but as I remember, Alice thought that was a strange way to communicate. I do too.
Lol, what would Orwell say about a society that constantly tells you to buy cars and cell phones? Strange days indeed - most peculiar, mama. But there are depressed people now. Feel depressed and don't worry about it. i don't know what to say (scared)
:angryfire 
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sphinx, BSN, RN
326 Posts
OK, duh, you got me. I realized just this conversation is making me tense. I'm getting to defensive. I apologize. I'll go take a chill, I think and come back when I'm more sane. (maybe even put some hoilday cheer up!!!!!)