Nurses With Low Self-Esteem: Please Seek Help

Working with a colleague who has low self-esteem can be a perpetually frustrating experience. The intended purpose of this article is to discuss the topic of nurses with low self-esteem, and at the same time, offer some feasible solutions. Nurses Relations Article

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self-esteem can be defined as the extent to which we deem our value, worth, and competence as a person. it factors significantly in how we view ourselves and the manner in which we progress through life. hence, low self-esteem is best described as a negative view of one's perceived value, worthiness, and competency.

some of the classic signs of low self-esteem are: consistent anxiety and emotional turmoil, always accentuating the negative, unable to accept compliments, overly concerned about what others think, don’t trust one’s own opinions, constantly depressed, socially withdraw, self-neglect, eating disorders, unable to take on challenges, always quitting and resigning, controlling, needy, success driven, arrogant, extremely self-defensive (someone who retaliates far worse than what would normally be expected), exaggerated perfectionism, and a constant need for validation and recognition (therative, n.d.).

low self-worth is a major problem in the nursing profession. nurses with healthy self-esteem are likely to deliver therapeutic patient care, while those with low self-esteem are less likely to do so (randle, 2003). nursing staff members who struggle with their self-esteems also display immature behaviors at the workplace. one strong indicator of low self-esteem is an inability or unwillingness to deal with issues directly at the source and a propensity to find alternative inappropriate ways to communicate (e.g., talking behind people’s back, putting other’s down to make themselves look good, etc.) (weisman, 2012).

the typical nurse who thinks poorly of oneself is likely to sabotage, snitch, and figuratively 'stab coworkers in the back' to deflect attention away from any shortcomings that he or she might have. nurses with low self-esteems are all too ready to throw their colleagues under the bus to make themselves look better, even if the effect is short-lived. thus, the nurse who has a low opinion of oneself is problematic to the rest of us.

how does someone address the problem of low self-esteem? our choices are the biggest factor in how we lead our lives and to change our choices, we must first change the way we think about ourselves (therative, n.d.). the nurse with a chronically low self-esteem may use positive thoughts and affirmations as a step in changing negative thoughts. individuals with low self-worth also tend to gravitate toward overly critical or abusive spouses, friends, and associates, so it would help greatly if the nurse with a self-esteem problem could somehow purge the negative people out of his/her life.

hobbies and activities have been known to boost peoples' self-esteems, so it would be beneficial to do something meaningful on one's spare time. enroll in an exercise class, learn a new art or craft, travel, join an organization, or become good at something unrelated to the job. keep in mind that professional counseling may be needed for the most chronic problems with self-worth.

low self-esteem is an issue that can be conquered with time, effort, and the desire to change. nobody develops a poor view of his/her own worth overnight; therefore, the problem cannot be expected to go away quickly. however, the person who works diligently to change his/her thoughts can change his/her life for the better.

nursing is a profession that is predominantly dominated by women,and therefore it is not uncommon to compete with peers,or to put down another nurse in order to show who is the super nurse. the perpretrator in this case is always the bully;it is the bully who has low self esteem, so in order to address the problem of low self esteem in nursing or any other profession corrective measures should be aimed at the bullies,not at the victims.remember the old adage, " nurses eat their young."

Specializes in Med-Surg, Home Health, LTC.
I am going to get blasted for this, so bring it on. One of the reasons I think this occurs in nursing is because it is dominated by females. Women are very competitive with each other. Rather than banding together they rip each other apart. In male dominated fields if management ticks us off, we as a group, get mad at management not each other. We don't think if we can make a co-worker look bad that will take the focus off of us. I have had many female friends tell me that they get along better with men than other women because women are too catty.

Your comment is so right on, to the point and true! Would much rather work with male charge nurse especially or at least other male floor nurses. It does make a difference in the balance of attitudes and energies. Thank you for posting this.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Home Health, LTC.

Low self esteem I imagine would stem from looking for natural "man" to provide you with something they can not.

The more disillusioned we become, the more blind we become, the more lost we are, the longer we stay on the same empty

road -the worse we feel...and are.

Specializes in LTC, SCI/TBI Rehab,RX Research, Psych.

SO true! We've got a supervisor that has a select % of the staff as 'FaceBook friends', and actually talks about this in front of the others...and wonders why the morale is as it is.

The 'friends', of course, can do no wrong.

PsychKnits

2 Posts

Years of dealing with back-stabbing, drama, snarky comments and passive-aggressive behaviors takes a toll on one's self-esteem. Most of my experience in nursing has been like an abusive relationship. I know several nurses who meet the criteria for PTSD due to incidents on the job. It seems that admin staff supports this type of environment- after all, how can staff rally in support when they are constantly bickering? A staff member said this to me the other day: "Its the people who walk around with a smile on their face that I don't trust. Those are the ones who are stabbing you in the back."

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Most of my experience in nursing has been like an abusive relationship.
One of our other members, who happens to be a nurse with 30+ years of experience, jokingly mentioned that you need a 12-step program to get out of nursing.

A staff member said this to me the other day: "Its the people who walk around with a smile on their face that I don't trust. Those are the ones who are stabbing you in the back."
This is very true. Passive-aggressive coworkers use indirect methods to express their aggression. Therefore, they outwardly smile and act agreeable, but they are secretly focused on sabotaging the colleagues whom they dislike. One thing I cannot stand is being forced to work with a passive-aggressive coworker.
allnurses Guide

Hygiene Queen

2,232 Posts

"Its the people who walk around with a smile on their face that I don't trust. Those are the ones who are stabbing you in the back."

I like this post x 20!!

lifeisgood2012

64 Posts

This article is interesting to me. I searched for nurses and low self esteem to see what could help me after

my punch in the stomach termination last week - and while I was reading through this I realized I have a

few of these "symptoms" but not tons of them. I do tend to be overly hard on myself - as I am sure most of us

are - and I tend to be bruitally honest with myself too. My self esteem has increased over the past several years

due to personal changes I have decided to make within myself. However, being new to the nursing profession and

now after getting terminated (posted on another thread) I realized that my self esteem in this field is very low-

it was before I got fired. Now - I was able to do the work - not be shy - jump in and ask questions - build

rapport with the residents, families and staff - but my confidence as being a nurse in and of itself is lacking -

does that make sense? My worth as a nurse in that capacity has only been external - I havent had the confidence

within me to trust that I am a good nurse yet - I dont know if I am making sense - it does in my head.

As with anything I want to do more to overcome this - I dont want it to be an obstacle. Its not in so many ways - yet

I cannot continue determining my worth as a nurse based soley on what one person says - for example - one day when someone

says I am doing good I am happy - when they say I am not I am sad. I still jump in and try and ask questions - but I think less

of myself. I dont know. Ok. I hope someone understands what I am saying and can help me with this. Thanks.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
My worth as a nurse in that capacity has only been external - I havent had the confidence within me to trust that I am a good nurse yet - I dont know if I am making sense - it does in my head. As with anything I want to do more to overcome this - I dont want it to be an obstacle. Its not in so many ways - yet I cannot continue determining my worth as a nurse based soley on what one person says - for example - one day when someone says I am doing good I am happy - when they say I am not I am sad. I still jump in and try and ask questions - but I think less

of myself. I dont know. Ok. I hope someone understands what I am saying and can help me with this. Thanks.

Keep in mind that the process of overcoming low-self esteem does not happen overnight. In the vast majority of cases, self-esteem problems developed early in life, so people who have low self-esteem are going to have to re-program their thoughts and views of themselves.

As always, do not be afraid to seek professional help if you feel that this issue is hindering your professional and personal life.

dmena14

25 Posts

Hello! Hi! I need help with this issue. Can I ask I question?

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
Hello! Hi! I need help with this issue. Can I ask I question?
Welcome to Allnurses.com! Feel free to post the question that you were wanting to ask.