Moderate/severe depression

Nurses Disabilities

Published

I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues in my life recently. I'm probably getting a divorce. I've recently dated someone that I like who is too busy for a relationship. I'm living in a new place away from friends and family and adjusting to a new stressful job. There's more stuff too...(medical bills, car issues, getting older etc..)I've just felt so depressed lately. Sometimes it's hard for me to work. I just feel like staying home. Nevertheless, I go to work and do a pretty good job. I feel like my job is all I have now. I've never felt like this before. I have bipolar disorder and don't take antidepressants because they usually don't work for me. I have a light box I use and take omega 3 fatty acids. I do aerobic exercise 3 times a week. Though I used to do more cross training. I'm in the process of seeing a therapist, but haven't met with them yet. I don't know if there's anymore I can do to feel better. I sometimes wonder if I'm in the right profession because lately it's been hard to interact with the public. I feel so unfulfilled most of the time. I don't want to only have my job. Is there anything else I might be able to try? I don't like to feel this way.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Obviously, I'm not you and don't live inside your head, but honestly, your depression doesn't sound bipolar-related at all. In fact, it sounds like a normal reaction to negative stimuli (possible divorce, missing friends and family, new job, financial stressors and more). ANYONE would be stressed under those circumstances! And yes, nursing is hard on everyone, but especially those of us with mental illness.

That doesn't mean you can't be a nurse, nor does it mean your symptoms should be ignored and/or go untreated. As you probably know, antidepressants alone are usually contraindicated in BP because they tend to flip us into mania, and it doesn't sound like you're taking a mood stabilizer either. But of course I can't give you medical advice; your next step should be to find a psychiatrist to manage medications, because your therapist can't prescribe (I hope they're good at the therapy part, because it's crucial to living successfully with bipolar).

In the meantime, please continue your healthy lifestyle, see your therapist ASAP and have them recommend a psychiatrist for you. And know that your feelings are completely normal under the circumstances in which you find yourself.......sometimes I think one of the hardest things about being bipolar is knowing what is our disorder, and what is US!

You have support here. There are a number of nurses here who are openly BP, myself included, who are willing to help. Good luck, and please let us know how you're doing.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ED staff.

Sounds like you are reacting normally to very stressful situations. I doubt that I would be doing any better than you are and I'm not bipolar. You're doing everything you can do to feel better. When I'm down I tend to hold it all in and try to be strong when I'm actually miserable inside. If you're doing this try to talk more, vent to your friends/family and be sure you keep your appointment even if you start to feel better.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
Obviously, I'm not you and don't live inside your head, but honestly, your depression doesn't sound bipolar-related at all

I agree with Marla on this point.

However...

This sounds like honest-to-goodness depressive disorder.

I know we're not supposed to give medical advice, but I have a history of major depression. It only was put into a controlled state after therapy, meds, psychiatric hospitalization and tons of support from family/friends.

I've had people as patients who were in the psych facility with me. I can tell they recognize me from somewhere but can't place it. I needed to be there, but I implore you...DO NOT let it get there.

There are things you are saying that sound like things I could have said a year and a half ago...I don't want to freak you out, I just am strongly strongly suggesting that you confide in a trusted person about this. That person knows you and will be able to help you determine whether or not this is a reaction to stress vs. a depressive episode.

Are you on any mood stabilizers? They can mimic or encourage a depressive episode if improperly prescribed. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar based on one possible episode of hypomania. Remember second opinions exist in psychology/psychiatry as well as strictly physical medicine.

I feel for you...thinking and praying for you. PM me if you would like.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I can't PM yet because of the new AN policy that you have to post 15 times before you can use it. Thanks for the support. I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder because I've been manic. The depression has been the predominant feature though and my mood stabilizer is supposed to be better for depression but it obviously isn't doing the trick. I've tried antidepressants before and at first they would be helpful but overall they just made me feel worse. I'm going to see a therapist next week it just feels so long. I haven't had a broken heart in a long time and I forgotten how much it hurts. I haven't ever really been all alone and I'm now alone and it's tough. I am always nice to my patients, families, coworkers making sure to put on a big fake happy face. The care I provide is always thorough and careful. It's just so hard to get out of my apartment and go to work and face the world and it takes so much energy to appear happy.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

How long have you been taking your mood stabilizer? It takes a while for mood stabilizers to be effective (sometimes a few weeks or sometimes close to a month) and some people need more than one mood stabilizer. Be patient while adjusting to your medication and only you will know if it is working correctly for you. It takes tweaking to find the med(s) that work best for you so don't be discouraged about the process.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
How long have you been taking your mood stabilizer? It takes a while for mood stabilizers to be effective (sometimes a few weeks or sometimes close to a month) and some people need more than one mood stabilizer. Be patient while adjusting to your medication and only you will know if it is working correctly for you. It takes tweaking to find the med(s) that work best for you so don't be discouraged about the process.

Truer words were never spoken. It's taken my doctor and me a year-and-a-half to find the right combination of meds in the right amounts, and with some patients it takes even longer. Additionally, most of us need more than one MS, which is where the atypical antipsychotics come in. I don't know how I survived without mine. I don't like it that I've had to increase my dose a couple of times since starting on it, but as long as it's working, I'll take as much as my doctor says I need.

I don't know what 'flavor' of bipolar you've been diagnosed with, so your mileage may vary---many people with bipolar 2 don't require APs. When my own dx changed from BP-NOS to BP 1 earlier this year, the Geodon (ziprasidone) was added to my treatment regimen, and it's been a good drug with absolutely NO weight gain or increase in blood sugar levels. (I was on Zyprexa for a few months last year, and while it's one of the most effective APs around, it was disastrous for my diabetes and I had to come off.)

The AP was originally prescribed in a very low dose for insomnia, but after having a couple of pretty significant manic episodes this spring and summer, it's being used to suppress that side of the disorder and has stabilized me more than anything else I'm on ever has. Even with all the changes I'm going through in life right now, the underlying mood is stable and I find myself much more resilient than I used to be. I hope you have an easier and simpler path to wellness!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
How long have you been taking your mood stabilizer? It takes a while for mood stabilizers to be effective (sometimes a few weeks or sometimes close to a month) and some people need more than one mood stabilizer. Be patient while adjusting to your medication and only you will know if it is working correctly for you. It takes tweaking to find the med(s) that work best for you so don't be discouraged about the process.

I've tried a lot of different meds and the only one that works is the one I'm on and it's starting to poop out. I don't really like antidepressants that much. I think a lot of it is situational.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

friendly mod reminder. please do not give medical advice which includes recommending classes of meds. OP please take care and stay in stay in touch with your counselor.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment