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Jenny878

Jenny878

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  1. Jenny878

    Nurses with Mental Illness: Share Your Self-Care Strategies

    Wow ViviLasViejas! It sounds like you do a really good job of channeling your creative energy in a positive way. That's great and truly inspirational! It is pretty weird how bipolar disorder can manifest so differently for different people. For the first few years after my diagnosis, I was on the manic spectrum and my highs were as high as they get. As soon as I was stable for a few years though, that's when the depression settled in and stayed. I am glad my mania is gone though, because it was way to disruptive and dangerous. I've put my life in danger when I was manic. I think there is still so much that is not known about the condition and that it is probably not a homogenous illness. There's probably more than 2 types. Anyway, with further research, I think we will know much more. More tips and tricks. Meditation, yoga, and physical activity. Channeling creative energy, like VivaLasViejas mentioned above. I think anything that draws a person out of their thinking. The depressive mind and the manic mind are like traps. Any activity that quiets the mind and engages the thinker into an activity outside of the mind would be helpful. Sometimes another trick I have with depression and thought distortion (negative thinking) is to not believe my thoughts. I will tell myself that I can't trust these thoughts right now and not to believe them. And a lot of the time, over and over again I find this to be true, that my thoughts were lying to me when I am depressed. I think this has been mentioned before, but self soothing is important too. Doing good things for ourselves. A nice comforting bubble bath with soothing music. Hot coco or a favorite meal. Buying ourselves something special or going to a movie. Writing down good things about ourselves on note cards and putting them up so we can see them. Getting a massage or a haircut and things like that to show love for ourselves are important too.
  2. Jenny878

    Nurses with Mental Illness: Share Your Self-Care Strategies

    I have bipolar disorder. Even though I have bipolar 1, I tend to be much more on the depressive side, at least for the past several years. I have found that I actually thrive in a busy stressful environment because it get's me out of me head. I have no time to ponder my troubles, I become at one with my task. And after a crazy day, I feel the buzz of the adrenalin lifting me up. But I have found, especially recently that when I'm not working is when I feel terrible and start to feel the depression engulfing me. What do I do? I post of forums like this. I don't judge myself and I don't think of myself as different than everyone else. In fact, I am motivated to overcome things by not thinking that I am different from others, for better or for worse. I think that is important. I think some people set the bar too low. I remember one terrible shrink I had while in the hospital say to me in a case conference "you will never be like us". And what she meant was that I would always be sick and dependent and there was no getting better. Well I thought that was a bunch of crap. So I went back to school and finished up and then went to nursing school (graduating at the top of my class) and now working as a nurse, I'm good at what I do. In a way her comment helped me get better, to prove I am not sick and weak. For me self care involves exercise, eating a good diet, and sleeping enough. I do this in a large part for my physical health too. Trying to talk to others and keep up my friendships helps me with my mental health. Recently, I've tried to have more gratitude for what I have in my life and that even though I have a psychiatric condition, I have a healthy body with all my faculties and I have financial stability and I am someone who people like. I am doing good for people. I still have dark moments though, but I am surviving.
  3. Does anyone know if voluntary hospitalization would cause a problem with a nursing license? I'm just wondering if I chose to admit myself for depression would it cause a problem with the boards of nursing? It is a responsible thing to do if I am really depressed and need more than medication adjustment. I'm not impaired at work or anything, I just feel so terrible that I have been so miserable the past few months it's becoming unbearable. Work is the only area of my life that I am doing well and when I leave, it's so tough to come back to my personal life which is so difficult now.
  4. Jenny878

    Moderate/severe depression

    I've tried a lot of different meds and the only one that works is the one I'm on and it's starting to poop out. I don't really like antidepressants that much. I think a lot of it is situational.
  5. Jenny878

    Wyoming - Cheyenne Regional Medical Center

    Im also thinking applying here. I am experienced so I think my chances of hire will be good. I was just wondering also if anyone knows about the facility. I'm looking into their PCU department or float pool. Also if anyone has any info on living in Wy that would be great! I've been to the state once and it was beautiful.
  6. Apply to states that don't require disclosure. Where I live the question is "Do you have any psychiatric or medical condition that affects your ability to practice safely?" And in my case the answer is no. Thus they don't know. Employers don't ask that either. I'd be afraid of Texas. If you do want to practice in one of those states that ask. I'd work in states that don't successfully for a while then transfer. It is illegal for any state to bar you from practice because you have a mental illness that does not affect your practice. A physician would have to clear you. It could be a long process though.
  7. Jenny878

    Moderate/severe depression

    I can't PM yet because of the new AN policy that you have to post 15 times before you can use it. Thanks for the support. I was correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder because I've been manic. The depression has been the predominant feature though and my mood stabilizer is supposed to be better for depression but it obviously isn't doing the trick. I've tried antidepressants before and at first they would be helpful but overall they just made me feel worse. I'm going to see a therapist next week it just feels so long. I haven't had a broken heart in a long time and I forgotten how much it hurts. I haven't ever really been all alone and I'm now alone and it's tough. I am always nice to my patients, families, coworkers making sure to put on a big fake happy face. The care I provide is always thorough and careful. It's just so hard to get out of my apartment and go to work and face the world and it takes so much energy to appear happy.
  8. Jenny878

    Worried I shouldn't have disclosed bipolar

    I will definitely never tell a coworker again. People do tend to have big mouths. But I was thinking of it this way too. I'd wonder what my coworkers would think about the gossip, that another coworker would tell people about another persons personal information. Especially an illness. I think some people would think that the person telling other people is the one with the problem and think badly of them. I would think that, if heard some gossip about someone's illness. I'd think the person blabbing was an ahole. So maybe this person kept their mouth shut after all. In my unit gossip is looked down upon and if my manager got word of it she might take action against it. No one can prove I have an illness and they might think this person is spreading lies. There's also a policy at my facility (I think) that other coworkers personal information not be shared. So I think I'm just not going to say anything more about it to anyone at this point. If I do hear something, I will tell my manager about it (not that I have an illness, but that people are gossiping). As far as making friends at work, I think I'm gona do whats comfortable. I've been trying to force myself to be social because it's the norm on my unit (at least with the popular clique) to socialize outside of work. There are even some physicians who hang out with the group. I just haven't felt like it. I'm going through a lot of problems lately and whenever I've been invited out I haven't felt up to it. I don't like being an outsider though and I usually get along very well with others. If people don't understand or take it personally I just have to let it go and not worry about it. Anyway, thanks for the response.
  9. Jenny878

    Moderate/severe depression

    I've been dealing with a lot of personal issues in my life recently. I'm probably getting a divorce. I've recently dated someone that I like who is too busy for a relationship. I'm living in a new place away from friends and family and adjusting to a new stressful job. There's more stuff too...(medical bills, car issues, getting older etc..)I've just felt so depressed lately. Sometimes it's hard for me to work. I just feel like staying home. Nevertheless, I go to work and do a pretty good job. I feel like my job is all I have now. I've never felt like this before. I have bipolar disorder and don't take antidepressants because they usually don't work for me. I have a light box I use and take omega 3 fatty acids. I do aerobic exercise 3 times a week. Though I used to do more cross training. I'm in the process of seeing a therapist, but haven't met with them yet. I don't know if there's anymore I can do to feel better. I sometimes wonder if I'm in the right profession because lately it's been hard to interact with the public. I feel so unfulfilled most of the time. I don't want to only have my job. Is there anything else I might be able to try? I don't like to feel this way.
  10. Jenny878

    Bipolar old new grad nurse

    It sounds like you would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist and getting on some medications. Most people with true bipolar benefit from meds. Not only are you risking your own safety, but you are risking your license too and possibly patient safety. Not that you would deliberately hurt a patient, but moods affect decision making. What if you make the wrong call? What if you are distracted? And what if you don't even realize it because you're cycling. The tricky thing about bipolar is that people often don't see how their thinking and judgment is impaired. They take their thoughts as reality when they are distorted when in a mood extreme. There's lots of new meds out there with less side effects. It would be the responsible thing to do to explore medications. There are ethics in nursing that I've always considered important and that is doing no harm, including to self and people whose lives I hold in my hand. As a nurse you are responsible for other people's lives, it's a huge responsibility. If you feel this unstable, I might also consider a leave of absence.
  11. Jenny878

    Old new RN with Social Anxiety

    I've heard of people taking beta blockers for performance anxiety. Interviews are like performances in a way. I've found that the more I practiced, the more I had to look for jobs, the better I got at interviewing. Working as a nurse requires a lot of interaction with the public and with physicians, and all kinds of other people. I've found that just doing it and taking the bull by the horns worked for me. I would get nervous and my heart would race talking to certain docs, but I just had to do it. Having a script when you go for the interview helps. There might be some mock interviews you could do, possibly though the EDD (employment and development) in your state.
  12. Jenny878

    Worried I shouldn't have disclosed bipolar

    I think this can definitely be true. The problem with non disclosure though is that it maintains stigma when in fact bipolar and other mental health issues are not that out of the ordinary. People have to get used to it because it's dumb for all that stigma to exist. It's just another medical problem, nothing special in a disease sense. HIV was stigmatized this way and now things are different in most places. Part of changing stigma was to talk about HIV openly including transmission information etc to dispel the myths and fears surrounding the illness. If people talked about mental illness and fears people have and got the facts straight things might change faster.
  13. Jenny878

    Worried I shouldn't have disclosed bipolar

    I feel like I just want it to go away now though. I don't want to draw any attention to it. If I asked her she could lie and I wouldn't know anyway. I just feel so weird an embarrassed to say anything now.
  14. Jenny878

    Worried I shouldn't have disclosed bipolar

    I kind of agree with this, probably more so in certain states, especially ones that ask about mental health issues on you license app. I've always been hesitant to apply in those states. I in most places though the ADA trumps the BON. In my particular case having over 10 years of stability, I am not too concerned about the boards of nursing. I don't think they could ever be successful at touching my license, due to strong support from psychiatrists and such. I also have good performance evaluations and such. But it would be a hassle to deal with it even if I won. It is definitely something I would probably not disclose in the future, unless I was sure I could trust the person.
  15. Hi everyone. I'm new to the site. I have recently been having social issues on my unit and am worried it is because I stupidly disclosed that I have bipolar to another coworker. Hopefully I'm just being paranoid. When I first got hired on to the unit, one of my coworkers asked me for my number so we could go out. So, I called her and it turns out she has a medical condition and somehow the topic came up about health insurance and medications. I mentioned my medication. I only take one and it's very mild (my bipolar is pretty very similar to major depression overall). There's different types of bipolar not everyone is a volatile maniac. She asked why I was taking it and I told her. It just came out. To me it's just like any other medical condition you take meds for. Since then though, she has been a little distant and seems reluctant now to hang out where as before she was very friendly. What's worse is I think she may have told other people because some of my coworkers seem a little distant too. It could also be though that people have invited me out and I've been a little reclusive because I've been very very depressed. I'm in the process of ending a 8 year relationship and I'm living away from my friends and in a new state. Maybe my coworkers were offended I didn't take their first invitation and are now reluctant to invite me out. I dunno. I don't want to get paranoid and I do want to have friends to go out with because I don't have any friends in this town now. I don't want to be dependent on my coworkers for friendship either because if they don't like me I don't want to bend over backwards. I usually don't really care because I have awesome friends out of state and am from a state that has been a little more open minded about these kind of things. Any suggestions on how to handle this. Overall, my priority is not letting this affect my work environment and having people treat me differently or have some kind of gossip behind my back. I would definitely never tell anyone my business again in the future.
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