Overwhelmed & Recovery?

[SpankedInPittsburgh]

Good Morning Fellow inhabitants of Nazi Monitoring Land:

Well friends yesterday was my first day of my last semester of my DNP studies. To say that I'm overwhelmed is a little like saying the late great John Candy should have lost a couple pounds. These studies are not meant to be resumed after a year's absence. Presently I feel lost and disoriented. I took today off work so I can take the next four days to at least develop some sort of plan on how to salvage this part of my life. I've lost a lot I ain't getting back but I don't want to lose this too.

I didn't really sleep much last night so I checked my phone to see if I had a pee test today and I did. I gave my sample at about 3AM & the first thing that stuck my mind was that a drink would sure be nice. I can do the math. I can drink today and almost certainly pass the ETG test even in the unlikely event that I get tested again Monday (I doubt it its a holiday). I'm not going to drink today. Why? I'm not going to drink because I made a deal with PNAP. If I comply with the terms and conditions of this hellish program they will get out of my life in about 4 years. I'm gonna hold up my end and will not give them the satisfaction of beating me.

My question is weather any of you think this spite and hate driven goal of not letting PNAP win recovery? I don't think it is. Do any of you? Can recovery be imposed on somebody or is it an individual choice.

Be well in monitoring land my friends.

Spanked

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Cats:

I'm sure there are very good rehab facilities out there but it wasn't the one I was at. Mine was stuffed to the brim with people given the alternative of jail and or losing their jobs versus getting stuck in the rehab warehouse. Yeah the Sunday preacher experience. I got let out of mine but only when I told them I was nonbeliever and didn't think it was right that my insurance company be billed for sending me to church and I was going to tell them so. As a result I was "banished" to the breakroom on Sunday's where I either napped (a personal favorite in rehab as it made time go by), watching football or reading. In my mind it was way, way, way better than listening to some born-again screaming about how his God saved him from whatever

[johnroyparker]

Man, you have to have a better reason for not drinking than to be able to pass a test. True recovery is wanting to stop because you want to stop. I only hope the best for you.

Recovery cannot be imposed on anybody. It has to come from within and then it is a steep uphill climb. I have worked with addicts for the past 40 years so I might know something. Be well myfriend.

[LucyLou88, MSN, RN, NP]

Never fails, I find a sad typo hours later. It sounds....to me. Anyway, I'm rooting for you. Power to the people. Stick it to the man.

[LucyLou88, MSN, RN, NP]

Ha! Yes. It's called psych.

[LucyLou88, MSN, RN, NP]

I live in Texas. Search the PA Bar Association.

I have no idea where in PA you are, but it may not really matter. Everything can be done over the phone, and documents signed electronically or even snail mail as worst case these days. You absolutely have to have someone who does nursing license issues all day long.

My husband is an attorney. I have learned that you cannot go into battle alone when faced with an army. The board is an army. If you have substance abuse issues, deal with them. You have to. Find another way a to handle your stuff, to fill your spaces. If you were just having a day of poor judgement and drove after a glass too many of wine, welcome to the land "I screwed up and now I'm at the mercy of a punitive system." Regardless you deserve a voice. Keep me posted.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

LucyLoo:

Thank you so much!!!

SpankedInPittsburgh resides cryptically in Pittsburgh.

I have resigned myself to absorbing whatever punishment is doled out by the BON and I've taken their best shots. I've survived InPatient & Out Patient rehab and am now getting ready to step down in my weekly group sessions to every other week. I've taken a bunch of shots & would love the opportunity to deliver a few.

[Meq815]

Heh heh. Cryptic.

[allnurses Admin Team]

Please remember, per TOS, do not post names. Thank you.

[Mavrick, BSN, RN]

Your "deal" with the BON is not about recovery. It's about passing pee tests in exchange for a license. You are not in recovery and the Board doesn't particularly care. If you don't want their damned license, go out and live any kind of shhhhole life you want.

Some people are more creative with the time and opportunities offered them in the early stages of sobriety. You can hold on to all your old habits, learn nothing and be back on the same path that brought you to the same miserable choice. I don't know what it will take for you but I read some interesting books and talked with some interesting people.

There is a true freedom that comes from making decisions because they are best for you rather than doing someone else's bidding. You choose the resentments you are hostage to. Quit blaming the Board for treating you like the hazard you are. At some point you can grow up and accept some responsibility.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Ha!!! What hazard did I present to my patients? Do you have a crystal ball?

As far as the deal, you are right about that at least and I'm holding up my end. I'm glad that we can at least agree that this isn't about recovery but about retribution imposed by nurses who love the misery of other nurses and live to judge them.

You couldn't have given a better illustration of my point.

Thank You!!!

[malamud69, BSN, RN]

I'm pro spite!

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Hate keeps me warm at night and gives me the ability to keep going in this jungle of BS. I simply hate the do-gooders too much to let them win. I'll finish this nonsense absolutely but even more certain than that is that I will never, ever, under any circumstances give this program any modicum of respect. Compliance sure. Respect Never