Just Starting to Dig Out of the Ashes

  1. Hello all on this cold as hell day in Pittsburgh:

    I'm basically writing to say hi & give you all an update and maybe shine a little sun. I'm just starting to dig out of the giant hole. My drivers license was suspended for 60 days for my DUI and I just got it back in the mail today. This is a punishment I richly deserved for driving after drinking but getting it back was sure nice. Also I get to start my last semester of my NP studies after a forced year off. Thank God!!! Finally my el-stupidedo weekly nurse support meetings are due to be cut down to every two weeks.

    The point of the above paragraph is not to say "whoopee Spanked". Not at all. Life still sucks on many levels. However, following the rules of the Nazi State of Monitoring and the calendar are starting to do their trick. One by one milestones are starting to be reached in getting through this morass of horse-dung. I still have over two years to go in this hell and can't see the end anywhere in sight but I am just starting to believe that I can put my life back together in some semblance of order. If a broken down old man from Pittsburgh can hang in there so can all of you my friends. This experience has in no way made me a better man or nurse but it may not be as fatal as I thought a year ago.

    Be Well!!!


    PS two years and two months to happy hour. Any of you make the trip to the cradle of civilization otherwise known as Pittsburgh I'm buying
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    About SpankedInPittsburgh

    Joined: Aug '17; Posts: 1,441; Likes: 4,349
    from PA , US


  3. by   Meq815
    Whoopee Spanked!
    This is where we are. Who'd a thunk these would be our milestones, what brings us ...joy? No, more like relief and a tiny bit of satisfaction.
    Congrats on getting your license back. And cutting down on those god forsaken "support" groups.
    We're in the deep freeze as well here in eastern PA.
    I'll make the trek across state for happy hour! Especially if you're buyin'!
  4. by   catsmeow1972
    I have seen a very small hope of light at the end of the tunnel that few people know of and I should be happy about but for some reason it has reignited some anger and bitterness. I think because I had tamped down the knowledge that these programs (mine anyway) find it perfectly okay to lie, to be manipulative, to be sloppy and not give a ***** at the fact that people's lives are ruined by thier carelessness. That little bit of hope has reminded me of that and it's all I can do not, how shall we say regress into my own little pity party. It won't help and I know that, but still......
    I can only gripe to my mom because she's the only one who really understands all of this. That useless support group, yeah right....someone comes up with the theme to "Frozen" one more time, I'm gonna scream. Anyone outside of nursing just doesn't comprehend how any of this junk is even legal.
    I see my therapist this week. I think we'll have more to talk about than usual.
  5. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Certainly NOT joy but maybe a little hope that this too shall pass
  6. by   rn1965
    Spanked, your posts always brighten my day!

    Today, in preparation to decrease my expenses and start saving for the "glorious" day I begin monitoring, I bought a camper. Yes, it has a monthly payment BUT, the payment and lot rent in an RV park will surely be at least half the cost of rent in this expensive city!

    I am hoping for a beginning soon, so that I can start counting the days to my end.

    As for happy hour, is it okay if I just have some unsweetened tea?

    Again, a million thanks to all my fellows in this fight! It keeps me sane.
  7. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    You can have whatever you want however you want it!!!! That's the point of the power of choice and autonomy!!! If you choose recovery I say God Bless and the very best to you!!!