Ok, so I am a new nurse and am encountering this for the 1st time: nurses that are horrible during report.
For the most part I have had no problems w/ the staff and have been told over and over that I am doing well. But I have run into a couple nurses on my floor who are just plain mean during report. They nitpick at me, argue, and treat me like crap. VERY unpleasant.
I always leave feeling like I've been through the inquisistion and then I worry they spend the day looking for things I screwed up so they can write me up. (I guess I am paranoid.)
Anyway, best ways to handle this? I try to stay calm, not get flustered, etc--but I am always so surprised when it happens that it kind of throws me off and I end up sounding less confident about my shifts work. Guess I am intimidated and it shows!
I call this type of nurse a Perfection Bully (PB). They are the worst type of toxic co-workers. They start the shift all stressed out, and expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. They are especially hard on new nurses, whom they will nit-pick to death during report. Everywhere I've worked I've encountered one, and I even had one as a teacher when I was in nursing school. I left my last position because of one, and this forced me to do some research on how to handle them.
1) the PB usually chooses the most vulnerable to pick on -- that often means new nurses; it's not you personally
2) you won't change them, so you must change your approach to them
3) reposition things in your mind, instead of dreading them, be thankful to them for giving you the opportunity to practice dealing with toxic people
4) do not try to defend or explain yourself, this is exactly what the PB wants because it puts you on the defensive
5) try to remain calm; this is difficult but critical because when your flight or fight system kicks in you've lost -- your rational thinking shuts down, and the PB will now be able to write you up for anything you said to them in anger
6) as you keep your cool you can now comeback with reasonable responses like: "I don't know that, but I'll be glad to look it up" or "I'd love to learn from you, but please lower your voice" or "I didn't get a chance to do that, but I can help you do it now if you'd like" -- the PB will rarely accept your offers, because the really want to anger and demean you
7) after its over, think about any valid points that may have been contained in the PB's attack -- maybe you need to learn more about diagnostic tests, or how to prioritize better, for example
8) after its over, document the incident and email it to your manager -- don't stall, you must do it immediately because the odds are that the PB will be complaining to the manager about you; focus on the person's attitude and demeanor (tone of voice, volume level, facial expressions, redness of face), things that were said that were unreasonable, and how they made you feel; facts can always be disputed, but your feelings can't be; let the manager know that you felt demeaned and attacked, and that the PB is creating a hostile work environment for you; also, acknowledge specific areas you can improve in, the things you discovered in step 7, and explain your thought processes behind why you did what you did
9) because you kept cool and responded rationally, you will appear to be the reasonable person while the PB will come off as unreasonable and hostile; when you acknowledge things you need to learn, you are furthering your image as a reasonable young nurse who is willing to learn and grow
10) you must keep your self-esteem up; do not get down on yourself; no nurse is perfect and you are not expected to be either; mistakes happen and that's how we all learn in real life; as long as patient safety is not an issue you are OK
Did all this work for me? Yes. On my next job I again ran into a PB. When I first started, she reamed me in report for not having prepared her clipboard, among other things. After that, most of my co-workers told me not to feel bad, because they too have been victims of this toxic co-worker's bad attitude. It was like a rite of initiation, and now I was part of the group. My manager told me that she has talked to this employee many times about her behavior, and that she would talk to her again. After all this, the PB is still the same, but she does try to restrain herself, and I no longer feel threatened. She's the one with the problem, not me.
Finally, get yourself some books on this topic, you can start at the library, or you can buy used books on Amazon or Alibris. Here's some suggestions: Positivity, Dealing With Difficult People, Emotional Blackmail, Emotional Vampires, Breaking the Chains of Low-Self Esteem, and Whose Pulling Your Strings. I wrote down the pearls of wisdom I got from these books, and put them on a tape to listen to. Also, I put them on my computer's sticky note program, so they pop up as reminders.
I write the report sheet for the next shift. So when they start asking dumb questions, I calmly ask "is it on the sheet?" "No, when then I don't know."
Now I don't do this is to everyone as sometimes they do have a point but the nurses that I KNOW do it on purpose they get it.
One time I was really really mad and told her, "Would you like to give report? yeah I though so."
My point is that is something that you shouldn't let it get you down. When you become more confident in nursing ability you will get to the point that with a look you can silence them.
(I love my preceptor! She rocks and I want to be just like her.)
There is a nurse on my floor that always asks lots of inane questions during report and is just very rude and aggressive in general. It is annoying, isn't it? If I don't know the answer I just tell her that what she is asking wasn't really pertinent to my day and if she wants to know she needs to look in the chart. I find this type of behavior very aggressive. I will not deal with nasty behavior during report. You need to nip this type of thing in the bud right away. Once this nurse realizes that you don't care about her dumb little questions and that you aren't impressed by her she won't ask anymore. I get to the point with this nurse and she rarely bothers me anymore, but other nurses still get a lot of cr@p from her during report.
I am a new nurse and I ask a ton of questions during report. It's not because I'm trying to catch the former nurse doing something wrong or that I'm trying to critique her, I'm just trying to learn and make sure I understand everything. When I give report I have encountered lots of questions, but I appreciate that it keeps me on my toes. I really should know everything that's going on with my patients, and sometimes I miss things. There's always an opportunity for growth.
Of course, if these aforementioned nurses are just on a power trip, that's completely different, but so far I haven't seen it that way.
trustsupplyguy
51 Posts
I call this type of nurse a Perfection Bully (PB). They are the worst type of toxic co-workers. They start the shift all stressed out, and expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. They are especially hard on new nurses, whom they will nit-pick to death during report. Everywhere I've worked I've encountered one, and I even had one as a teacher when I was in nursing school. I left my last position because of one, and this forced me to do some research on how to handle them.
1) the PB usually chooses the most vulnerable to pick on -- that often means new nurses; it's not you personally
2) you won't change them, so you must change your approach to them
3) reposition things in your mind, instead of dreading them, be thankful to them for giving you the opportunity to practice dealing with toxic people
4) do not try to defend or explain yourself, this is exactly what the PB wants because it puts you on the defensive
5) try to remain calm; this is difficult but critical because when your flight or fight system kicks in you've lost -- your rational thinking shuts down, and the PB will now be able to write you up for anything you said to them in anger
6) as you keep your cool you can now comeback with reasonable responses like: "I don't know that, but I'll be glad to look it up" or "I'd love to learn from you, but please lower your voice" or "I didn't get a chance to do that, but I can help you do it now if you'd like" -- the PB will rarely accept your offers, because the really want to anger and demean you
7) after its over, think about any valid points that may have been contained in the PB's attack -- maybe you need to learn more about diagnostic tests, or how to prioritize better, for example
8) after its over, document the incident and email it to your manager -- don't stall, you must do it immediately because the odds are that the PB will be complaining to the manager about you; focus on the person's attitude and demeanor (tone of voice, volume level, facial expressions, redness of face), things that were said that were unreasonable, and how they made you feel; facts can always be disputed, but your feelings can't be; let the manager know that you felt demeaned and attacked, and that the PB is creating a hostile work environment for you; also, acknowledge specific areas you can improve in, the things you discovered in step 7, and explain your thought processes behind why you did what you did
9) because you kept cool and responded rationally, you will appear to be the reasonable person while the PB will come off as unreasonable and hostile; when you acknowledge things you need to learn, you are furthering your image as a reasonable young nurse who is willing to learn and grow
10) you must keep your self-esteem up; do not get down on yourself; no nurse is perfect and you are not expected to be either; mistakes happen and that's how we all learn in real life; as long as patient safety is not an issue you are OK
Did all this work for me? Yes. On my next job I again ran into a PB. When I first started, she reamed me in report for not having prepared her clipboard, among other things. After that, most of my co-workers told me not to feel bad, because they too have been victims of this toxic co-worker's bad attitude. It was like a rite of initiation, and now I was part of the group. My manager told me that she has talked to this employee many times about her behavior, and that she would talk to her again. After all this, the PB is still the same, but she does try to restrain herself, and I no longer feel threatened. She's the one with the problem, not me.
Finally, get yourself some books on this topic, you can start at the library, or you can buy used books on Amazon or Alibris. Here's some suggestions: Positivity, Dealing With Difficult People, Emotional Blackmail, Emotional Vampires, Breaking the Chains of Low-Self Esteem, and Whose Pulling Your Strings. I wrote down the pearls of wisdom I got from these books, and put them on a tape to listen to. Also, I put them on my computer's sticky note program, so they pop up as reminders.
Good luck, you will learn so much!