Nurses Eat Their Young

[texaschick]

Can someone explain to me why Some nurses eat their young. I am in an ER internship and i love the work and the patients. I work in a ltrauma center and its very fast paced. My only problem with myself is trusting my own knowledge and skills. My problem with the place is some of the other nurses on my unit are just plain hateful. They make rude remarks that have nothing to do with my competency. I am new in this profession and new to this hospital add those to the fact that I am nervous and not very good and standing up for my self and I tend to avoid confrontation. Heres the best part she is one of the charge nurses. I feel like I have made the biggest mistake ever. One nurse did stick up for me once when I was told to do something in a very degrading manner. Several of the hateful nurses told her that she was over exaggerating and blew her off. How am I suppose to stick up for myself when I see how they did that nurse. I wish I could say that my preceptor was one of the good guys but she is just like them only she is more subtle about it. Is it like this everywhere or have I just chose the worst place to work?

HELP any suggestions

[DeLana_RN, BSN, RN]

This week on my unit, a new RN who had been orienting on day shift started on my evening shift, which will be her pemanent position. Her usual day shift preceptor did a double and I don't usually work with her. I felt so terrible for her when I saw how her preceptor was treating her. Her preceptor called her "retarded" behind her back. Of course my other co-workers and I were shocked. I've been really stressed at my job. Our unit had a stretch of highly acute patients with not-so-great staffing, and I was charge nurse every day through it all. So I got a little fried and plus I've only been around on my floor for about 7 months, otherwise I would have been happy to be her preceptor. I helped her with whatever questions she had during my shift and was extra nice and encouraging to her. I just felt absolutely awful for her. I went through a similar situation with a domineering and insulting preceptor, and I know it's hard in the beginning anyways. There's just no reason to be mean to new nurses, unless you have some sort of mean streak and need to take it out on someone vulnerable. I've been particularly angry with that day shift nurse who is trying to scare new nurses off of MY shift! My advice to the new RNs out there is to find the nice nurses on the unit and hang out with us, and of course always consider how welcoming a unit is to new grads.

Did you report this sorry "preceptor" to the manager? Nurses like the one you describe should never be preceptors, because they obviously resent it and let their frustration out on the new grad or employee. If more nurses did this rather than quietly ignoring this kind of behavior, then maybe new grads would no longer become meals for old battle axes

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to criticize you; this is just a general statement. I was the victim of a horrible head nurse in my very first job. And yes, she was the manager, so reporting her wouldn't have done any good. But I would have appreciated it if the charge nurses and other staff who were nice to me in private had given me some warning before the head nurse fired me without cause.

They knew this was going to happen (I have since found out) - she had done it many times before to those who didn't "fit in". The only thing I was guilty of was idealism and naivity - I never saw it coming. But because nobody spoke up, nobody gave me any kind of warning, I had to live with this which had been devastating to my self-esteem as a new nurse - it's a wonder I'm still in nursing.*

When will nurses quit treating their own like dirt?! :angryfire

DeLana

*Must be that hopeless idealism Seriously, if anyone had warned me, I could have resigned in time and maybe gotten an internal transfer (which she later prevented.) But I can't say if I would have done this... maybe I wouldn't have believed it?!

[Freedom42]

Early2: It's great that you've decided to learn from what happened instead of -- for lack of a better phrase -- copping an attitude that carries over to your next job. It sounds like your first employer was remarkably callous. (By the way, my nursing instructor had us read an interesting article this calling for changes in nursing education. It referred to nurses lashing out against each other as "horizontal violence." I'd never seen that reference before.)

I hope someone will fill me in a bit on hospital culture: Who becomes a preceptor? Do you have the option of declining? Is it considered a mark of prestige to be chosen? And what makes a good preceptor?

[PANurseRN1]

If you do decline to be a preceptor, just don't say anything about it here unless you want to have students and new nurses lashing out at you for being selfish and neglecting your obligations to "future generations."