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Nurses and advanced directives

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

Are yours in place? Mine are!!! When Terri Schivo was in the news, my mother thought it was "just horrible" that her husband was going "murder" her by not letting them feed her. When I heard that comment I immediately went online and printed up official state advanced directives. Then took them the next day to get noterized.(SP?) I listed my husband(of 15 years) and my best friend(of 24 years) as the ones to make any and all healthcare decisions for me. My mother is not listed at all. I know that she would not be able to let me go and I do not want to stay if I can't be me. There is a HUGE difference, IMHO, between LIVING:monkeydance: and just existing:scrying: If I can't hold my husband's hand or pull my children on my lap and tell them I love them. If I can't control my bladder and need someone to turn me in the bed. THAT IS NOT LIVING!!!! Needless to say, mom isn't happy with me. I told her she will have no say in the decisions, but she is just gonna have to "live" with it.;)

nursemary9, BSN, RN

Specializes in Psych, Med/Surg, Home Health, Oncology.


My DH & I invited my family and his family for dinner one night; after dinner as we sat having coffee, He & I brought up the subject (we have no children).

We told BOTH of our families of our wishes and had several members be our witnesses & POA's. They all agreed, including our Mom's. We also discussed what we wanted in the line of aftercare---cremation. DH thought my Mom would have a hard time with that. She did not--none of them did.

Now it is all out in front of anyone & NO ONE can say, I didn't know.

We have given our copies of POA for Healthcare & Living Wills to our MD's for the record,

I think it is a GREAT idea for families to discuss these issues,

All the adults in my family have one, and I am the POA for each. I have copies of all the papers (shrunk them down on the computer so they fit in my purse!). Years ago my parents refused to discuss it at all, until my brother was in ICU after an accident and we had to decide what to do. No one knew what his wishes were.

Another interesting note, slightly off topic: my brother died around the same time seatbelt use became law in CA. My parents and brother refused to wear one, for different reasons. When my parents heard that my brother would not only have survived if he'd had his belt on, but he probably wouldn't have sustained a scratch, they became religious about wearing belts. Sad that it took a tradegy for them to think about some things.

Although I am not a healthcare worker, I also filled out advanced directives because of Terri Schiavo. Even though I am a conservative Christian, I was appalled by the fight to keep Terri's body alive. Some of these people still think she was murdered, even after the results of the autopsy confirmed her persistent vegetative state.

I sent my directives to family, pcp, hospital, and even had it recorded as a public record. My actual wishes go beyond what is legally allowed, however. Once I have reached the stage where significant brain damage is inevitable, it's time to call the code.

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