Nurse Suicide is Real: 3 Ways to Help

[Truth66]

I just loved your article. During my last nursing job, I heard of only three nurses, whom I new personally, who took their own lives. They were all young, vibrant, fairly new nurses. 2 had left families with children behind. I could not phantom what the families went through, nor do I want to. I felt numb when I was told, other were like, "O well, they couldn' Take the heat', or "more overtime for me now". It amazes me how people can be so cold, so cruel over death. These were people we worked with, walked the halls with getting or giving report to. They were our co-workers, our friends, Nurses need to show respect to the dead nurses, just like we do to our patients.

Thank you

My condolences on the loss of your co-workers. It is very sad to see the comments from your other co-workers. Unfortunately far too many Nurses become cold and calloused over time. It's their way of coping and surviving, which I do not agree with.

This may not sound appropriate to your post, but the best way that I've learned to cope with the ongoing stresses of nursing is humor. I learned that I would rather joke around with my fellow co-workers as opposed to taking my frustrations out on them, which is not good for anyone. However, with humor (as long as it's done appropriately) benefits everyone.

I'll be honest in stating that I would often get my self in trouble with the powers that be with my warped sense of humor. Yet my argument was always the same when I used humor with the seniors I cared for who had varying degrees of dementia. I indicated that I would rather see these residents expend their frustration and anxiety by laughing as opposed to hitting staff or other residents. In addition I would much rather administer effective humor as opposed to drugging the residents up with anti-psychotic medication.

Nurses need to laugh a hell of a lot more than what they do and it all boils down to attitude. For example when ever I spoke to people about working on a floor with residents having varying degrees of dementia, I used to tell them that most people pay big money to see and here the kinds of things I witness all the time. Here I get paid to witness/experience it.

Nurses can often get extremely frustrated by dealing with challenging family members as well. I'll quickly mention a true story that I posted on this site a few years ago:

While doing my 17:00 medication pass I noticed that a family member was watching me quite closely. He eventually asked if he could ask me a question. I said sure. He asked, "How can you be a male Nurse doing this kind of job?" With out missing a beat I responded, "I tried being a female Nurse, but it didn't work." He never ever asked me another question after that.

In short, Nurses need to try and lighten up with each other and themselves.

[Melissa Mills, BSN]

Truth66 - Love this! Humor is a great way to cope. I love to laugh and play around, so humor is my go-to for stressful situations too. Of course, you do have to make sure the person you're joking with is up for the humor too. :)

Melissa

[Melissa Mills, BSN]

Hi NGONZO! So glad you enjoyed the article. It's so sad to hear of young nurses dealing with so much stress that they would commit suicide. Some of the comments you mentioned are inappropriate and shouldn't have been tolerated. It's a sad world we live in some days.

Melissa

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

Thank you for this informative and thought-provoking article.

As a profession, we need to learn from others. The fire and police services are actively working and promoting self-care, recognition of the toll stress takes on the body and spirit. We had a Fire Chief who is activly involved at the state level and national level, come to a conference. It was eye opening to say the least!. Lots of great feedback on her information on self care, stress reduction, debriefing as needed etc. I had a friend (RN) who commited suicide a number of years ago. The fallout is exponential. I wonder if increased knowledge would have made a difference to her?

[Truth66]

Thank you for this informative and thought-provoking article.

As a profession, we need to learn from others. The fire and police services are actively working and promoting self-care, recognition of the toll stress takes on the body and spirit. We had a Fire Chief who is activly involved at the state level and national level, come to a conference. It was eye opening to say the least!. Lots of great feedback on her information on self care, stress reduction, debriefing as needed etc. I had a friend (RN) who commited suicide a number of years ago. The fallout is exponential. I wonder if increased knowledge would have made a difference to her?

My condolences on the loss of your friend.

[Melissa Mills, BSN]

Thank you for this informative and thought-provoking article.

As a profession, we need to learn from others. The fire and police services are actively working and promoting self-care, recognition of the toll stress takes on the body and spirit. We had a Fire Chief who is activly involved at the state level and national level, come to a conference. It was eye opening to say the least!. Lots of great feedback on her information on self care, stress reduction, debriefing as needed etc. I had a friend (RN) who commited suicide a number of years ago. The fallout is exponential. I wonder if increased knowledge would have made a difference to her?

Nutmegah - So sorry for the loss of your friend. You raise excellent points that as a profession we need to start advocating for self-care and other ways to remain healthy, given the stress and dangers of nursing. I know nothing will bring your friend back now, but hopefully, we could help others in the future.

Melissa

[NutmeggeRN, BSN]

My condolences on the loss of your friend.

Thank you...I had seen her the week before and we had a great catch up chat...who knew?

[Rainbow_RN, BSN, RN]

Based on what I read about Rhian Collins, it seemed like she had body image issues that were compounded by bullying/lateral aggression at work. That New York Post article brought a great deal of attention to the issue of nurse suicide. She had what looked like a great support system in the form of her fiance. It's not really clear whether she had an existing mental illness or any body image issues before she started the job which is being blamed for her suicide.

Workplace violence is a very real threat to the safety of nurses. I think people are more aware about patients assaulting nurses, and less so about bullying or verbal abuse from other members of the healthcare team. I hope that changes. For me, abuse would hurt more coming from co-workers than patients. Patient experiences can be inconsistent. Sometimes patients aren't oriented. Sometimes they need an outlet for their frustration and perceived lack of control. I am not saying that I expect patients to be violent, but it is within the realm of possibility for the reasons I named previously. However, with co-workers, I would like to think I know what to expect. I want to be able to expect my co-workers to have my back.

Bullying in nursing isn't talked about enough, and even for someone who does not have any mental issues prior to starting a career, it could bring out latent insecurities. Thank you for writing the article and helping bring more attention to the matter.

[Have Nurse, ADN, RN]

Great reply.

I have been a nurse for more than 30 years, and seen the changes in the healthcare system over that amount of time. The fact that ANYONE would tolerate a nurse being assaulted--or any staff member, for that matter--is deplorable. When a patient assaults a nurse, the nurse is told not to call police to file a complaint, the nurse is told not to say anything to anybody about it--especially the media!!!--and are questioned as if they are the reason for the assault. The questions "What did you do to escalate the situation?" and "What did you do to try to deescalate the situation?" are absurd. A nurse isn't permitted to defend themselves or fight back. And, to top it all off, the patient responsible for assaulting the nurse isn't thrown out of the hospital, is not reported to the police & continues to receive treatment. Their "mental health" is always called into question, even if they're not in the hospital with a mental health problem.

If a person was assaulted on the street, the first thing they'd do is call the police. Why isn't that the first thing a nurse does if they are assaulted on the job? For some reason, people feel that "abuse" comes with the territory of nursing, or any other healthcare job, and if you can't handle it, find another job. The fact that administration is more concerned with keeping it quiet to limit its own liability & not have the public wonder about the safety in the facility is unacceptable.

I can tell you one thing--I would be damned if anyone would prevent me from defending myself/fighting back, calling the police to report the assault or speaking to the media about it. If they want to fire me, go ahead---but they had better lawyer themselves up to defend against the massive lawsuit I would file against them.

Amen, and hallelujah to that!!!