Why do we eat our young? - page 3

I'm a float pool nurse at my hospital so I bounce around, a lot. Wherever they need me, I go. So I'm pretty well known around the hospital, favorably, thank goodness. The past few months, I was... Read More

  1. by   goomer
    This happened to me. It really made me become jaded and less trusting of other nurses, quite honestly. The way it happened to me was just beyond ****** ** in the worst way.

    I have heard nurses are kinder to male nurses, though. I wonder what the male nurses have to say about this lol
    Last edit by Esme12 on Jan 17, '13 : Reason: TOS/profanity/use of letters and symbols
  2. by   BulmaBriefs
    Hi Jreyrn,

    I'm trying to get into nursing school and I can't imagine what that girl must've gone through. I just wanted to say that you're very nice for being there for her when she needed someone to talk to and vent; this to me is what makes a great nurse. I'm sure that we all wish we can have someone to comfortably talk with about our problems, especially if you work in a stressful environment. For some people, it even helps them pull through their issues because they've been supported from someone who has years of experience in this profession. I really wish that when I enter nursing school that I can have someone to look up to as a role model, like yourself, when I'd really need a shoulder to lean on and for someone to give me the courage to pull through. It's wonderful nurses like you, that give us nursing students the strength to carry on and have a special place in our hearts. I'm inspired to be a terrific nurse like you someday.Thank you.
    Last edit by BulmaBriefs on Jan 16, '13
  3. by   imintrouble
    I've worked alot of jobs. I don't find the whole "eat their young" thing to be exclusive to nursing. When orienting/training is involved, there's going to be those that catch on fast and those that don't. There will be those who are born teachers and enjoy that honor, and those who'd rather clean the toilets and it shows. New employees who engage, and those who cower. Victim vs peer.
    As we all know, bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and professions. Nursing doesn't have the market cornered.
  4. by   sheba516
    In the article the new grad talks about numerous ways she was treated...not just by her preceptor. I'm a new grad and a mature woman who has been thru many of life's experiences and done well in all of them. I have come across all kinds of personalities and rotten people in life. People can make up all kinds of excuses they want for the way things are and how they treat people. If you're a nurse, you are b/c you make that choice to be and stay with it. Why does that give you the right to treat people the way you do? Deal with your issues or get out! Many professions are stressful but to use it as an excuse to ok the way new grads are treated??? In the last year I had the same rotten experience as a new grad b/c of many things. I have never been treated so poorly and humiliated in my life. I'm a very hard worker and have always been. I have never needed my hand held and have always overcome tough obstacles to get to where I needed or wanted to be. I worked for a Magnet hospital for 5yrs and they never treated their new grads with such disrespect. Nurses are overworked b/c many places are short staffed but then you don't want to take the time to help the new nurses,who will be able to help with the load once they are trained and make your life less stressful?? So the new nurses quit and then where are you... still no better. You treat people how you want to be treated...with respect. You all started in the same place we are today, except things are much different and more difficult now. There are no excuses for how nurses treat their young! It tells me that you experienced nurses, who are suppose to love helping people, really aren't such caring people. Nursing is very stressful and new nurses are willing to do the work to get where they need to be. I don't think that any new nurse goes into nursing thinking that it's going to be a "piece of cake" and handed to them!! With all that you go thru to get thru nursing school, we all know that! I believe that nursing makes you old faster and many of the people, who are nurses, shouldn't be b/c they are there for the wrong reasons. We always have choices and making excuses for how you treat new grads speaks a lot about you. A new grads success is in the preceptors hands, so if you don’t want to be a preceptor and know you aren’t good at it, then don’t do it! You don’t have the right to take that away from someone who has worked hard to get into nursing and knows that this is where they want to be! I’m so tired of the excuses that experienced nurses give for the way they treat new grads! You were all once in our place.
    Last edit by sheba516 on Jan 16, '13 : Reason: formatted wrong
  5. by   nurseaig
    Women ( Nurses) are so emotional and are the first to point that fact out, but are afraid to show compassion to each other. I tip my hat to anyone that have the nerve and willingness to become a nurse. It shows to me that all nurses are winners and how can we move this profession forward if we can't show each other respect.
  6. by   r_nurse
    Hey OP. What a great post. I give a big thanks to you for helping the new nurse. I have had great preceptors like you who supported their young and not so great ones. But I used this both as a learning experience even if I felt like quitting at times. The mistakes I made has taught me to never make the same mistakes again and grow from it. Then there are the great nurses who showed compassion who I will never forget in this lifetime----those are the great nurses that I wanted to be. I treat the 'old' and 'new' nurses with the same respect doesn't matter how tired and cranky I am. Everybody will have questions whether your 'old' or 'new', this is why I like nursing you learn something new everyday! =)
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif] All I was trying to do here by making my post, was to vent a little, because I felt bad for her. I know remember how it felt in my first year of being a nurse and I remember feeling the way she did that afternoon a few times and its a horrible feeling. It was never my intention to offend any seasoned nurses. I was just venting. That's all…You are a phenominal nurse. If only all nurses were like you. I realize that in today's society there is a lot of pressure, and sometimes nurses get yelled at from family members and doctors, but in the long run, a good caring nurse is a precious jewel. God bless all nurses who are the caring and compassionate kind. There is a lot to deal with today.
  8. by   procrastinator911
    and that's effective learning to u, for new grad?????
  9. by   procrastinator911
    Quote from anotherone
    I have only been on my unit for rwo years and I have already precepted ( we do not volunteer for this) at least 15 new grads . this was a quick count . all i want to do sometimes is go in assess pts, give meds, chart and be done with it. on my schedule without 5655 interuptions, advice ignored, no initiative, lack of thinking on and on and on. I was mostly oriented in a boot camp style and only a few of my cohorts are still there. only the strong survived. not saying it was ideal but i see new grads now cry if they have to deal with an admission or 2 and it makes me wonder.

    and that's effective teaching/learning to you, for a new grad??????
  10. by   sheba516
    Thank you for being a caring and compassionate nurse who wants to help a new grad believe in herself and know that she is going to be a great nurse!
  11. by   wooh
    A couple years ago we had a new grad that asked a lot of questions. But was super sweet. Just so darn timid about everything. I worked with her a couple times, happy to answer questions. We worked different shifts at the time, but I would pick up her shift occasionally, and would do my best to help her out. Then one time I was working with her, and was SLAMMED with my own patients, and she asked a question, and I just wanted to scream, "OH MY GOODNESS! JUST MAKE A FREAKING DECISION!!"

    We're too slammed with our own patients to always be sweet and nurturing to the new people. And honestly, there does come a time where you need to stop asking "permission" before every single thing you do. You've got to eventually figure it out for yourself. You really can ask TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

    Anyway, I held it in, but probably sounded a bit curt in my answer. And she didn't take my curtness as an insult and immediately run around complaining about being bullied/eaten. And gained a new understanding of those that worked with her REGULARLY and were probably over it much quicker than it took me.
    And she still works with us. Is a fabulous nurse in fact.

    It's hard to be a new nurse. Even if everyone is sooooo nice and wonderful to you. It's not all about being nice to the new people and remembering what it was like when we were new. The new grad needs to realize, lives are in your hands, it's NOT all about you, everyone else is busy too.
  12. by   Flatlander
    I was a social worker in the trenches for many years. Social work, like nursing, is a high-stress female-dominated profession. My coworkers were my saving grace in that job. Even though the work was fast-paced and stressful, my coworkers provided each other with mutual support, almost without exception. The only unpleasant encounter I had was with a male psychologist a little too big for his britches. When I first heard about and then experienced nurse bullying it was in my first job as an aide in long term care. It was painful and shocking to experience it first-hand.

    I believe lateral violence between nurses stems from powerlessness. When people feel valued and capable of changing things for the better, they are less likely to strike out at others. Also I believe that a culture that accepts this behavior is difficult to undo, once it is firmly established. It requires courage to speak out against the behavior in a helpful way, not making yourself a target needlessly, not placing blame, but somehow helping to change the culture that accepts the inevitability of lateral violence. Maybe it would mean going to the nurse manager and reporting what you are observing or experiencing without naming names, for starters. Just raising the awareness.

    There was a time when sexual harrassment was tolerated in the workplace, and racial discrimination, too. Somehow we managed to overcome these evils because enough people refused to tolerate them.

    My humble opinion.
  13. by   learner1108
    "And honestly, there does come a time where you need to stop asking "permission" before every single thing you do." posted by Wooh.

    Yes, I agree Wooh, and the orienting nurse needs to tell the new nurse that she no longer needs permission to do what the orientor knows the new nurse knows what to do. That is the whole purpose of orientation, IMHO - to gradually release the control on the new nurse. How many experienced nurses would do well with another nurse watching them all the time and telling them what they did wrong as soon as they did it? Come on, how many of us have gotten busy with a patient and missed turning a patient by 20 mins? But there is no other nurse fussing at them. Nope, we have all been there. But a new nurse might get bawled out or thought of as slacking if she does that.

    Hospitals need to take responsibility for training vet orientors how to train newbies well. Private businesses train invest in training. Why not hospitals? Why should vets fuss at each other about how new nurses (whether new grads or new to the unit) are treated. The vet nurses need training. And that is the hospital's responsibility, IMHO.