What would you say to a bully in the work place

  1. For those of you that have experienced true bullying in the work place, what would you say to your co-worker to get them to stop.
    Some times nurses keep it bottled in, but if you have an opportunity with the nurse to let everything out on the table what would you say?
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    About OnlybyHisgraceRN

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    RN; from US
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  3. by   Been there,done that
    I have been a victim of lateral violence. The bullying will not stop by any action you may take against the aggressor.
    It will only escalate the problem.
    Keep your head down, and your eyes open.
    DOCUMENT..DOCUMENT..DOCUMENT the aggessor's action.. take note of any witnesses that may be able to validate the abuse.

    Be careful.. you may be in a no win situation.
  4. by   OnlybyHisgraceRN
    This is not for me. This is for a friend who is a victim of lateral violence.
  5. by   jadelpn
    It is hard to answer without specifics. If the offending nurse is yelling, then I would in a calm voice say "I would appreciate you not yelling to get your point across". Do not get into a peeing contest, do not engage in further arguing. If it happens again, right to your manager. If it is a subtle, methodical approach, then document, document, CYA, and make an appointment to speak to your manager, and not getting too emotionally involved (by that I mean address the behavior, not the person) state the facts of what is going on. Perhaps with an idea on how to change the culture of your unit. If this is happening to a friend, then you are on her side to support her claims. Perhaps suggest nurse governence to address behavior issues. Good luck and remember--your friend should not get sucked in the hole of despair--professional, direct, and the behavior not the person.
  6. by   nursel56
    I agree that it's hard to advise what to say because each situation is unique. I wouldn't say I was the victim of lateral violence, but bullying or a continuous attempt to exert power over your co-worker I have experienced.

    In one case the person was hired as a supervisor by someone outside of nursing but higher up in the food chain. She was the insidious type who would recruit minions to validate her dysfunctional behavior so with her a direct confrontational approach would've backfired. I finally dealt with it but all they could do was offer a transfer. I left soon after for different reasons though when your bully has the ability to mess with you through their personal relationships it's more complicated.

    The other was a peer who mistook my quiet nature on the job as weakness and was continuously trying to control me and get me to work the hours she couldn't and behaved as if I was her subordinate when I wasn't. I regret to say I let her treat me like a doormat for several months but with her the direct approach took care of it. She just needed some pushback. We never became good buddies, but we accommodated and were able to work together.

    Anyway, that's my .002., maybe it will give you some ideas on how to advise your friend.
    Last edit by nursel56 on Nov 10, '12