The Respect You Get

As a new grad or new colleague, the respect we get is in our own hands. We show others by our actions whether or not we are worthy of respect. Some of us earn respect while others lose it. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

It's that time of year again. New nurses have started their first jobs and are experiencing the culture shock as they transition from student to nurse. Many of them complain that they are not getting the respect they deserve from their new colleagues. (Many of them complain about the respect they're not GETTING while being disrespectful of those same new colleagues, but that is the subject for another post.)

When a new grad starts in our unit, most of us our looking forward to the time when they're off orientation, a full member of the team and can help relieve some of the staffing crunch. When we meet a new grad, the default is respect. Here's someone that graduated from an accredited school of nursing -- and we all know what hard work that is -- and passed the licensing exam. They've been through the interview process and impressed our management team enough to offer them a job, and they've chosen to work with us. What is not to respect?

Almost without exception, the new grad who is not respected is one who has proven she doesn't deserve our respect. What do I mean, you ask?

Timothy was an orientee who was passed to me because he just couldn't get along with his preceptor. He had a very high opinion of himself, and had an extremely high confidence level. Such confidence in himself was really not justified. He had already failed the rhythm test and the vasoactive drip test and because I have a reputation as a good teacher, I was asked to step in. Timothy didn't pass the exams because he wouldn't study. "I'm through with school," he said. "I don't have to do that anymore." Instead, he expected me to spoon feed him the answers to the test questions so he could pass on his third try, and he wanted me to do that during the course of our busy shift caring for patients. He had no interest in UNDERSTANDING the rhythms or the vasoactive drips. He just wanted to pass the tests so he could "rock the ICU" with his awesomeness. He was fired four months in to a six month orientation because after four months caring for CTICU patients, most of whom had Swans, he could not identify that yellow thing coming out of her neck nor describe what is was used for. Timothy lost the respect of his first preceptor on the first day on the unit, when he told her she looked old and ought to retire. He lost my respect when he told me he wasn't going to study, and he lost the respect of the CNAs when he described them as "beneath him."

Inez started with the default level of respect. English was her second (or seventh) language, and she had some communication difficulties. Her charting was sometimes unintentionally hilarious. Our respect for her started ratcheting upward when she admitted that she was having difficulty with charting, asked for help with specific issues and began running her charting past her preceptors before putting it into the EMR. Very quickly we could see that she had a good grasp of the disease processes, the surgery involved, the drugs we used and the lab results. She learned from each mistake and never made the same one twice. Long before she finished orientation, even seasoned nurses were impressed with Inez's work and her attention to detail. When we discovered a charting blooper (the only kind of mistake she ever made), she'd laugh with us and then we'd correct the mistake together. Inez earned respect. Timothy threw it away.

The new grad who makes an error, admits it, and then sets about to correct it or mitigate the consequences to our patient earns our respect. The new grad who won't admit to a mistake, blames others for the mistake, justifies it or covers it up loses our respect. The new grad who doesn't understand something but who works hard to figure it out earns our respect. The one who won't ask the question loses it. The new grad who cheerfully greets housekeeping each morning and knows the names of the CNA's children earns our respect. The one who doesn't want to. Wipe blood off the floor or say hello to the housekeeper or CNA because "I'm the nurse and they're below me" loses it.

Some new nurses worked their way through school; others have never held a job. In most cases, they've never worked a REAL job before, and there may be things about the workplace and workplace relationships that they don't understand. We get that. But someone who is rude to other disciplines most likely will not be respected as much as they think they deserve. In most cases, when newbies aren't liked or aren't respected, it's not because of bullies in the workplace; it's because they have failed to understand and practice the basics of work place relationships. Many of us COBs have been in that position ourselves. AN is a wonderful place where you can bring that sort of problem to the forum and get real answers and good advice -- you just have to be willing to "hear it."

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
OP: the recalcitrant newby is nothing new as many preceptors know but down through the years I have found that one-on-one teaching offers the perfect opportunity to find ways to customize the learning experience towards the individual learner. But I do agree you can't teach or argue with a stump.

With that said:

You are a veteran nurse and as such know the material inside and out so the challenge is to find a way to convey the vital concepts without creating, either on his part or yours, a non-productive adversarial relationship, because you are also colleagues.

When I hear the expression "spoon feed" used by an instructor as in "I won't do it" this may be due to a reluctance or inability on the instructor's part to reduce sometimes complex, specialized information into more easily absorbable learning segments. This takes extra effort but, in return, the student still needs to be "respectfully" receptive and engaged, I agree.

There seem to be other issues as explained in your encounter with young Tim and I do believe that they may have to do with nursing's historic

reluctance to deal with latent and covert misandry. This is a strong word without a doubt but I and some other male nurses I have spoken with over the years have been told directly that there was no room in nursing for males. Being told this tends to create baggage that is hard to forget. But who knows in this case if this hypothetical is valid or not.

Ruby, I do not believe you would be a party to this kind of behavior but I do urge you to consider this dynamic in dealing with Tim. It may help you to get through to him ( no kow-tow) just an intrapychic perspective that may help to break through his reluctance to want to learn past getting the license.

Who knows, a few years from now both of you will laugh at your initial encounter with him and you may become good friends who will watch each other's back. God knows we all need more of that.

"Spoon-feed" doesn't mean "I'm having trouble grasping the complexities. Can we please go over it again?" "Spoon-feed" means "I'm too busy to be bothered learning that. Just tell me what I need to know."

And I think Ruby said young Tim was sent down the road. Doubt they're swapping Christmas cards.

Specializes in Cardiac ICU, ER, PICU, Corrections.

This is great Ruby!! Excellent read! Even years into nursing, respect is something I show to 30 year nurses, a brand new nurse, and the housekeepers. No one is beneath me. We're all human and screw up..own it!! Bravo

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Admitedley this thread was pointed out to me because I had the stupidity to start a nety thread..........

I like your logic, and I think you would be a great co-worker.

I constantly hear nety. Been pursuing a BSN for awhile. Working as a CNA, and I value that job.

Its important, and I don't like status mongers. I also love forming bonds with my co-workers it makes my life easier.

I had other full time jobs though, and I am not a nurse yet. I hope to get there, but no guarantees in life.

Either way I love when co-workers have a great working relationship.

So as a new CNA I try to be friendly lighten the mood when it's appropriate, but also running around when their are things to do.

The slow moments, albeit rare, I try to get to know my co-workers because it's hell for everyone when it gets combative. Many of them have been there a long time, and seem a lot of people come and go.

Its early, but so far they seem to be cautiously optimistic about me. As do many of the residents/patients, and I like that feeling it's what make the job rewarding, albeit difficult.

It will get more difficult as I go on, but so far I enjoy it.

They ask me how I feel about the job because you know it's frequent that new hires quit/ get fired.

I laugh, and say. Hectic, but worth it. It's no lie it's difficult, but so far I honestly enjoy it most times. Sooooooo far I think I am good, but I can't read minds.

If they have negative opinions they haven't been expressed. So it's really none of y business until it comes up in a discussion.

Sometimes I walk out of a room, and they are laughing/smiling. With the question "You alright buddy?" I laugh because I know why they are asking, and it makes me smile. Makes everything easier so far.

They would never let me do something they though was dangerous, but when they send me into a room. They usually already have a good idea what awaits me. That's cool, because I am glad to do it.

This job (CNA, hopefully nurse someday) is what I asked for. So I try to remember that.

Having worked other full time jobs U have felt were neccesary to get by, and absolutely hated I went into healthcare.

Because it's what I wanted to do with my life. You are going to have to work hard no matter what you do, you might as well pick it for yourself.

So I feel lucky to be doing what I am doing, because I finally feel like I got to pick it for myself. So I might as well act like it.