Please Don't Judge Patients

Its not easy to be a nurse, nor is it easy to be human at that. We make mistakes. We have feelings. We have opinions. And we also have judgements because thats human nature. Nurses Relations Article

Its not easy to be a nurse, nor is it easy to be human at that. We make mistakes. We have feelings. We have opinions. And we also have judgements because thats human nature. But we are nurses. We should strive for excellence in health and it is our job and duty to do. So although after 10 hours on shift we may be tired, irritated, frustrated, and quite possibly stewing over the judgements we have made about this patient or that patient. I believe as nurses we can rise to the challenge of trying not to judge our patients. It is not easy and of course we may catch ourselves doing it, but in the moments we do catch ourselves lets try to just take a step back, breathe, and remember we are all imperfect humans. Plus...it never hurts to try.

Last night was a rough one. As I attempted to lay a patient down for the 15th time I slowly found myself in a state of total irritation. Thinking in my head why does she keep doing this? I swear this only happens to me! Ok, now she is doing it on purpose! And lastly I found myself thinking wth is wrong with you?!? But as slowly as the irritation came on it quickly subsided when i heard her say..."Im sorry i cant sleep, my brain wont."

This stopped me from what i was doing as I was reminded of why i was there. I was there bc she needed help, because she needed to be safe and well. I was there to do a job, not to judge her and wonder almost aloud what was "wrong" with her. I took a moment, we sat down, we watched TV, we talked about why her brain wont work. She smiled and laughed for no reason...so did I. After an hour, guess who was ready for bed? After doing the bedtime routine for the umpteenth time I found myself alone and in silence.

But I also found myself with a new way of thinking and the simple way of thinking can change so much for so many. Because as nurses our job is to provide care to people during what is likely some of the most difficult and trying times of their lives. We also tend to major catalyst in the way someone is cared for. We are all human and during rough times we may not always be at our finest moments or remember how much our small actions and thoughts affect the way we treat others and reflect how we feel towards them. We must remember this about our patients always but we must also remember this when it comes to our fellow nurses and all humans alike.

When you see the man yelling at all the staff down the hall and you think to yourself geez what a grumpy old man. Or when your brain injured client ask you the same question 13 times in 5 minutes, you think omg why do keep asking the same question?!? Or when you never seem to see the parents of that 4 year old peds patient and think to yourself, I would never leave my kid alone in the hospital. Well during these moments remember to stop, take a breath and not judge. Maybe that old man knows he is dying and is having a difficult time coping. Maybe that brain injured client didn't ask to be hit by a drunk driver and spend the rest of her life permanently confused. And maybe that parent you never see is struggling to work full time and provide for the other 3 children still at home.

In times of sadness, illness, life changes, and everything in between let's all stop to remember our patients are only human, just as we all our. Our job is not to judge those whom we don't know, but to heal our patients and provide them with care and comfort during times of distress or need. Sometimes a simple smile or words of encouragement go far beyond what you know. And sometimes when we open our eyes just a little wider we learn to accept the fault of being human and we also allow ourselves to see our patients as they truly are...not as just another patient but as a person.

Why is it ok for the patient/family to judge us & treat us poorly when we are responsible for the patient's life?

The patient is sick/under a lot of stress and their family is under a lot of stress. It is not reasonable to have the same expectations of behavior that one would have of a well person. No-one is condoning abuse, but the majority of patient/family behavior is not abusive.

No, we should judge patients.

Watch 10:02 on : Scrubs S

Specializes in ER.

I've long thought this whole no judging thing, popularized in the 70s and 80s by quoting the famous Bible passage by Jesus (totally out of context BTW), has contributed to the moral decay that we have today. God forbid a decent person have an opinion and they are condemned and vilified. Good people are supposed to accept with open arms all manner of sin, lawlessness, recklessness, and general abuse of individuals and society as a whole.

There's an excuse and a mental health diagnoses for any and all wrongdoings. Citizens and taxpayers need to keep their mouths shut, 'cause 3 fingers will be pointing back at them for being so judgmental.

Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

Exactly, of coorifice we all judge people from the moment we meet them it's human nature, but it is not our job to job these people and we must remember that. Your job is to do what you can for your patient and give them the same respect and care as you would give any of your patients.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
The patient is sick/under a lot of stress and their family is under a lot of stress. It is not reasonable to have the same expectations of behavior that one would have of a well person. No-one is condoning abuse, but the majority of patient/family behavior is not abusive.

Actually, verbal abuse is still abuse. Aren't we, as nurses, under stress as well? Aren't nurses forced to work when ill? There is no acceptable reason for anyone to take out their judgements on anyone. Period. Judge them, fine. But when you act on it, it's problem. Not the judgment itself.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I believe we should be making an effort to keep an open mind. Actually, it's not that difficult to temper our judgement. All it takes is some humility. Realizing we are only seeing a snapshot of our patients and their families lives and will never have enough information to understand the causes that have formed their behavior. And I would disagree that we can still give the same quality of care when we make negative judgements about patients, although of course we can perform tasks/interventions. I'm sure you feel it when people judge you negatively, even if their outward behavior towards you is quite civilized.

The same should be said for everyone. Not just nurses. Actually I have given the same care regardless of what I think. Working in corrections made me realize it is ok to judge people. I never took how I felt out on an inmate. I treated them all the same unless they gave me a reason not to. So yes, it is possible to have negative judgments about people & not do anything about it.

Telling all nurses to stop judging patients is never gonna happen. It's not rational, possible nor should it happen. We should be telling them to keep those judgments to themselves & not treat anyone differently because of it.

Why is it fair for anyone to be treated differently due to a judgment? It shouldn't happen. Look at Hitler. He is a great example of not keeping judgments to himself & acting on it. I think Hitler is a lot worse than a nurse maybe not giving the best care to a patient based on judgment.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I've long thought this whole no judging thing, popularized in the 70s and 80s by quoting the famous Bible passage by Jesus (totally out of context BTW), has contributed to the moral decay that we have today. God forbid a decent person have an opinion and they are condemned and vilified. Good people are supposed to accept with open arms all manner of sin, lawlessness, recklessness, and general abuse of individuals and society as a whole.

There's an excuse and a mental health diagnoses for any and all wrongdoings. Citizens and taxpayers need to keep their mouths shut, 'cause 3 fingers will be pointing back at them for being so judgmental.

I wish I could like this 100 times over!

Actually, verbal abuse is still abuse. Aren't we, as nurses, under stress as well? Aren't nurses forced to work when ill? There is no acceptable reason for anyone to take out their judgements on anyone. Period. Judge them, fine. But when you act on it, it's problem. Not the judgment itself.

I just said in my post above that "No-one is condoning abuse, but the majority of patient/family behavior is not abusive." Are you going to state that this is not the case, and that the majority of patient/family members are verbally abusive? And no, you are not forced to work when you are ill; you are voluntarily employed. And the reason you get paid is because of the sick patients who bring in income to your facility. You are not providing charity care for which you receive no payment in return.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I just said in my post above that "No-one is condoning abuse, but the majority of patient/family behavior is not abusive." Are you going to state that is this is not the case, and that the majority of patient/family members are verbally abusive? And no, you are not forced to work when you are ill; you are voluntarily employed. And the reason you get paid is because of the sick patients who bring in income to your facility. You

are not providing charity care for which you receive no payment in return.

I think you need to read up on what constitutes abuse.

Ok, so no one forces nurses to work. But I have seen nurses get written up for not coming to work because of an illness. I got let go from a job due to an illness.

I still don't see any validity in telling every single nurse to stop judging patients. I'd love to see what happens if you tell your coworkers that. I doubt anything would change & I'm sure they would think what you're asking for ridiculous - because it is.

Singling out nurses & telling them not to judge patients is just hypocritical. If you look throughout history you will see a number of examples of judgments that people acted on that were horrible. Look at what POTUS Trump is doing. He doesn't want certain people in the US all because of his judgment on their religion or where they live.

Judgment happens but the acting on it can be so detrimental.

Here is an article about judgment making (if the link doesn't work, let me know):

Bad Request

It happens subconsciously & we can't stop it. So asking someone to stop what they don't realize they are doing is pretty much impossible.

The only discussions or "articles" I could find on the evils of judgmnt were all religious. Not everyone believes the same thing nor is religious so it does not fit in.

I think you need to read up on what constitutes abuse.

Ok, so no one forces nurses to work. But I have seen nurses get written up for not coming to work because of an illness. I got let go from a job due to an illness.

I still don't see any validity in telling every single nurse to stop judging patients. I'd love to see what happens if you tell your coworkers that. I doubt anything would change & I'm sure they would think what you're asking for ridiculous - because it is.

Singling out nurses & telling them not to judge patients is just hypocritical. If you look throughout history you will see a number of examples of judgments that people acted on that were horrible. Look at what POTUS Trump is doing. He doesn't want certain people in the US all because of his judgment on their religion or where they live.

Judgment happens but the acting on it can be so detrimental.

Here is an article about judgment making:

Bad Request

Bad Request

It happens subconsciously & we can't stop it. So asking someone to stop what they don't realize they are doing is pretty much impossible.

The only discussions or "articles" I could find on the evils of judgmnt were all religious. Not everyone believes the same thing nor is religious so it does not fit in.

I recommend reading the ANA Nurses Code of Ethics.

Yes, much of our judgement happens subconsciously, but it manifests in our thoughts and behaviors towards patients and their family members. We are responsible for recognizing our conscious negative attitudes when we are not practicing in accordance with the Nurses Code of Ethics, and for correcting our behavior. Having negative thoughts/judgements towards patients/family members can certainly result in an untherapeutic nurse/patient relationship and be harmful for patients/their family, as they very often pick up on our unspoken attitudes.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I recommend reading the ANA Nurses Code of Ethics.

Yes, much of our judgement happens subconsciously, but it manifests in our thoughts and behaviors towards patients and their family members. We are responsible for recognizing our conscious negative attitudes when we are not practicing in accordance with the Nurses Code of Ethics, and for correcting our behavior. Having negative thoughts towards patients/family members can certainly result in an untherapeutic nurse/patient relationship and be harmful for patients/their family, as they very often pick up on our unspoken attitudes.

You are getting to my point that it is easier to control the actions of the judgments than it is the judgment itself, since it happens on a subconscious level. Telling nurses (or anyone) not to judge is an impossibility. But telling them not to take those judgments out on their patients is not completely impossible.

I have worked around child molesters & murders & never once treated them poorly. Did I find what they did contemptible? Yes!!!! But I didn't let their charges affect their care. That is all something we should strive to do. But this isn't a perfect world & not everyone has the same beliefs/moral compass so while not acting on my judgments maybe easy for me, maybe my coworker finds it difficult. But it is something my coworker can work on & change. Not judging others? That we cannot change.

Specializes in ER.
I recommend reading the ANA Nurses Code of Ethics.

Yes, much of our judgement happens subconsciously, but it manifests in our thoughts and behaviors towards patients and their family members. We are responsible for recognizing our conscious negative attitudes when we are not practicing in accordance with the Nurses Code of Ethics, and for correcting our behavior. Having negative thoughts towards patients/family members can certainly result in an untherapeutic nurse/patient relationship and be harmful for patients/their family, as they very often pick up on our unspoken attitudes.

You mean I might loose my license? Mercy me! :eek: