How do you deal with rude patients?

Nurses Relations

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I am a new nurse, just graduated in May. I am beginning to question whether or not I made the right career choice. The main reason is I cannot stand being yelled at sworn at and basically treated like crap by patients and family members of patients. I also work at the county hospital, so we have to take everyone, so that's part of the problem. However, in all of my clinicals I was never treated so poorly by patients as I am now that I'm a 'real' nurse.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these kind of situations so that you stand up for yourself yet don't come off beligerant or rude back to the patient?

I will admit to taking more than the acceptable amount of crapola from patient's and their families.... But then, I have an inordinate amount of patience, too.... Doesn't make me a hero by any means.... I DO try to remind myself that, "I'm not the person in the bed, or the family of the person in the bed." There but for the Grace of God, n all that....

But I definitely appreciate seeing all the positive ways posted here to address rude people for those times when my patience has run out.... and even some of the NON positive ways (heck, I'll admit to wanting to b**** slap, wring the neck, of a few people in my day too :rotfl: )

We certainly shouldn't allow ourselves to be bullied.... we're making ourselves available to patient's to HELP.... not serve as punching bags.

Peace to all :)

What I find that is amazing are the people who, you know are SICK, SICK,SICK, yet know matter what you do or how many times a night you wake them up--they smile and say thank you. I am personally not a happy or nice sick person lucky for the guy taking care of me I just keep my mouth shut. Except when giving birth lol.:stone

rachael, you know the respones, " i m really sorry, you re upset" etc etc but honestly i told this like situation to him and he put me on celexa it really works , i m serious. i m been a nurse for 12 years and work i with alzheimers/dementia and am certified in gerontology. please dont quit nursing. god bless

to rachael i ve been in nursing for 12 years, and 23 before that as a tech. besides the things to say,etc. heres what really helped me. celexa i told my situation to my doctor. and his suggestion was quite helpful. i m in alzheimers/dementia and certified in gerontology. p;ease don t quit nursing, you ve a got a great career ahead of you god bless larry

Originally posted by rncountry

rachel I hope I helped some. And thanks to all who agreed with me, I actually expected to be told that I was not caring enough, or something to that effect.

Next time you have a rude patient, take a deep breathe, explain you are a professional and expect to be treated like one. Leave the room if necessary, letting the patient know you will be back when they can be calm. When this happens make sure you immediately go to your supervisor and let them know what happened and how you handled it. That way you don't give the patient a way to bite you back.

And stuck with the career, we need nurses like you!It is my belief that big changes are coming to this profession. The nursing shortage is going to be too severe for it not to. Stick around the fun is only beginning.

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rncountry, you say this so well as in your other post also. I think I just picked up some good ideas from you, so thank you for that. Always looking for ways to be assertive without being pushy or b____. It seems we take this not only from patients, but many times from providers too.

Specializes in ICU, nutrition.

I encountered a rude, demanding patient last week. Her IV pump was beeping and I went in to fix it (not even MY patient, mind you). She was nagging me ("You must not know what you're doing, why can't you fix that, you messed it up," etc) and finally I turned to her and I said, "Would you like for me to help you?" She said yes. "Then give me a minute to fix this without the running commentary, or I'll leave it for you to fix yourself." She shut up, but she'll probably report that rude young nurse. (Which one? I'm sure management will ask. There are so many of us!)

Most of the time I'm pretty easy going, but my fuse is short when patients start telling me how to do my job. But sometimes if you just turn it around and ask them if they want you to help them, it at least makes them stop and think about their behavior. Doesn't always change anything though.

There is a lot of great advice here. I agree with them. And PLEASE don't leave nursing just for this reason. It will get easier and you will learn the coping method that works best for you. Personally, I use the kill 'em w kindness routine most of the time and smother them w "Sir" and Ma'am"....if that doesn't work, the Ole Nurses' Eye sure DOES!!:chuckle

You have to learn to deal w the ones that call you on the phone too. I just had one the last day I worked. He called me twice, demanding I order tests for his mother whom he had suspicions of having been poisoned by two family members for the life insurance! When I asked how to contact him, and he gave me his mental health case worker's ph no, I knew why he was acting out!! His mom was sweet and I had no prob w her. I reported his behavior to the mom's doc and let him handle it.

Good luck and welcome to nursing! I love it and will never understand why it took me over 25 years to decide this was what I wanted to do!:D

Specializes in MS Home Health.

Not literally but I agree kill em with kindness. Most of the time it is displaced anger not really meant for you but your a convenient target. Try not to take it personal. I know that is hard sometimes. Been there before.

renerian

Specializes in inpatient hospice house.

The look almost always works for me or speaking to them the way you would a child who is having a temper tantrum. "When you are ready to calm down and speak to me correctly just press the call lite and I'll be back". Ignore the negative and reward the positive with your attention.

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

yes killing em with kindness often works well. i am almost always successful at this. if not, i calmly tell them i am happy to help them but i appreciate common courtesy as much as the next person. this is with alert and oriented folks that this works best. with those who are not sooo withit...it changes a bit. i just take a lot of deep breaths and do my best. it is RUDE FAMILY MEMBERS i get the biggest irritation from, myself. Good luck to you.

Specializes in Emergency.

I don't know if I have the energy to kill them with kindness anymore. I kind of think it's a society problem, the general public consists of many inconsiderate, entitled, spoiled, self-centered jerks who need to be put in their place.

THis is an ER people, what are you waiting on? You are waiting on someone who has a real problem, and yours is BS, so lay there and shut up until we have time to deal with your whiney pathetic little problem. Sorry I didn't rush to get you a blanket, I was taking care of my patient who isn't BREATHING. THis is not first come first serve, you do not get special treatment because you know so and so who works on the 6th floor, and unless you are going to die in the next 30 minutes, you will wait. Some days it seems like everyone thinks the world revolves around them. I am discusted at how people treat me and I really get down on what this world is coming to when people are so mean and nasty. In one night I had a pts husband yell at me while I was starting his wife's IV, with 6 mg of Morphine ready to give. The wife started screaming hysterically and pulled her arm away from me so of course I missed. THe husband called me an idiot and started screaming at me, I left the room because I was so angry and went to another pt. who demanded I take her IV out right now, after we had stuck her 5 times to get one (in her foot). SHe claimed she had asked to go the BR and no one came so she walked on her IV and it was blown. No call light had gone off and I was not notified she needed to use the bathroom. I told her I was going to flush it and make sure it was no good, she started screaming at me and demanded that I take it out IMMEDIATELY. I said, well, I was trying to save you from having to get stuck 5 times, but you can go %$*! yourself. By this time I was just shaking with anger. I don't care if you are sick or in pain, NOTHING gives you a right to treat me like that, NOTHING! I am always kind to my patients and I always give the best care possible, but I am just at a point where if someone wants to be rude to me I don't think I have it in me to kill them with kindness much longer.

People need to learn that that kind of behavior is not acceptable. Sure, they always apologize later, still no excuse. There needs to be a no tolerance policy for people like this, they should be tossed out on their butts. WHat is going to become of our society if people are allowed to exist like this. In this era of customer service and materialism people think they get to treat you like garbage since they are a paying customer. We need to stand up for ourselves and stop letting rude poeple get their way. They do not deserve kindness.

i think mabey if you just tell them please dont do that it will be fine. it would work for me. i would feel really bad and not do it ever again

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