rather than revive an old thread, i thought i'd start a new one. (i always get lost in those threads, anyway -- i get called away from the computer and forget exactly where i was and miss some great posts until someone quotes them in a reply!)
so here's what i wanted to say to the visitors with the patient in the next bed last night:
"it's wonderful that grandma and grandpa have been married over sixty years and that they're still very much in love! especially since grandpa is obviously suffering from dementia and grandma has been taking care of him for years. that may have contributed to the heart disease she's suffering from. grandma just had heart surgery, she still has the breathing tube in, and she cannot answer questions like "so how are we feeling right now?" or "what do you really want right now, grammy?" in fact, she was sleeping comfortably until you came in and started shaking her and demanding that she wake up and tell you all about the pain. susie, grammy's nurse has explained all of this to you several times. i know because i heard her doing it."
"while it's fascinating that grandma and grandpa have never spent a night apart since their wedding night over six decades ago, grandpa cannot spend the night here in the room. for one thing, it's a double room and grammy's roomate keeps coding. in fact, we're getting ready to open her chest at the bedside, so you're all going to have to leave. no, i'm sorry. you can't just leave grandpa here to keep grammy company. susie's too busy taking care of grandma to feed, toilet and supervise grandpa so he doesn't wander off and get lost. and i'm too busy setting up to open this chest. really. i'm busy."
what i did say? "i'm sorry sir, but visiting hours are over. i'll get susie to explain it to you."
