NP's questionnaire for teens and birth control

[Spidey's mom]

Our local women's health NP gives teens this questionnaire to fill out when they come in for birth control.

Ask Yourself These Questions

Here are some questions to think about. They will help you decide whether teen sex has a place in your life and your goals.

1. How would I feel about having to choose between abortion, adoption or raising a child?

2. Am I ready to give up my freedom to parent a child?

3. Can I afford to raise and support a child?

4. What if I had to pay hundreds of dollars every month in child support until I am middle-aged?

5. If my partner and I were faced with an unplanned pregnancy, how would our relationship be affected? How would our families be affected?

6. How would my education and chance at a good career be affected by a pregnancy?

7. If I got a sexually transmitted disease, what would happen to my health? How would I feel about myself?

8. If I began having sex with my partner, and they walked out on the relationship, how would I be affected? What if this happened several times - as it does to most sexually active teens?

9. Deep in my heart and mind, do I think having sex as a teenager is right, wrong, moral or immoral?

10. Is there something special about my virginity?

11. Do I "live for the moment" without thinking of how my behavior might hurt me or another person later on or do I carefully consider the consequences of my actions?

12. Do I believe that sex should take place only with a serious, long-term commitment from both partners?

13. Do I assume that a sexual relationship will create a long-term commitment?

14. How can I live my life now in order to give myself the best possible chance for a successful future?

[elkpark]

I think those are terrific questions. Kids don't think about the future, they get too caught up in the moment and whatevery one else is pressuring them to do. I think these could be adapted to drug abuse education as well. It definitely puts the burden of responsibility on them. Yes, some people listen to their parents and don't have sex, but most don't. Their thinking is impaired because the blood is not in their heads when they are making these decisions - it's in those feel good places that tell them to just do it. Kudos to the NP taking the route of success and not pussyfooting around issues.

The kids who don't listen to their parents aren't likely to listen to an NP in a clinic, either ...

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Those are great questions that I think should be asked of all teenagers as part of a regular health screening. Hopefully it will encourage them to come in for birth control and counseling about how to prevent STDs. If they are already there for birth control, then I don't see the point of asking those questions at that time as they have already obviously made a choice and decided to do the responsible thing.

Also I would absolutely eliminate #9-12 as I don't think they serve a good purpose and might intimidate teens or discourage them from seeking his or her services. She or he needs to leave the morality bit for their parents and/or their spiritual advisors.

Good idea about regular health screening . . or even a tool for parents to use at home prior to coming in for birth control.

I can see, sorta, your point about #9. Although, the act of having sex is the act of not being a virgin anymore and I don't think pretending there is no worth to virginity is necessarily a good idea. My daughter is part of the group, "Straight Edge": Straight edge refers to a lifestyle and scene within the hardcore punk subculture whose adherents abstain from alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs. There is considerable debate over what constitutes a straight edge lifestyle, and some may also abstain from caffeine, follow a vegetarian or vegan diet, and refuse to take psychiatric drugs, as well as promiscuous sex (when in a relationship you only have sex with your partner). The term was coined by the 1980s hardcore band Minor Threat.

Actually, the website says that the movement isn't tied to dietary or religious beliefs.

http://www.straightedge.com/

Just a warning so I don't offend folks with more than just these questions but the website has profanity - but I think has great value in understanding that kids WANT a different life. If you do go there to read their frustrations, you might see that the questions you are worried about are mild. And won't scare them a bit.

They have questions about morality - why avoid question #10 like kids can't handle it.

They have questions about the "living for the moment" idea. Why not have them consider carefully the consequences of their actions?

They also believe in sex only within long-term, serious, committed relationships.

I dunno - having 2 adult sons and an 18 year old daughter I'm immersed in things that make these questions seem pretty darn mild.

Read the lyrics of the songs . . . .

My heart is breaking for teenagers . .. .they seem to be pretty angry about not having anyone to look up to.

Starting a conversation about the down and dirty aspects of life . . I do that all the time. I'm sure my kids would roll their eyes and laugh if you asked them about it.

steph

[jojotoo, RN]

Lovely. If that had been my experience when I was a teenager seeking birth control, I would have immediately gotten up and left, and found a less judgmental, paternalistic healthcare professional (as I hope any self-respecting teen would today ... :))

Wow - it just goes to show you how differently people can interpret the same thing. I found these questions to be extremely neutral.

[DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN]

I printed it for my 18 y/o college freshman son who has a 16 y/o girlfriend. Thanks, Steph!

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

i printed it for my 18 y/o college freshman son who has a 16 y/o girlfriend. thanks, steph!

you're welcome.

i just came across something i used to spark a conversation with my older kids . .something that just happened to come up when i was reading the newspaper (all you have to do is open your eyes and it will be amazing how many ideas will pop up for conversation). i'll type it below.

askmarilyn:

"few people would buy a car without a test drive. many feel the same way about marriage: they wouldn't get married without having sex with the intended person first, to determine if they are sexually compatible and if they enjoy each other when making love. do you think people should try each other out in this way before marriage?"

"moral issues aside, if you want to test drive your intended spouse, you're not in love with him or her. if you were, you would have only desire, not doubt. as anyone who has been in love knows, having sex isn't comparable to making love. and if you're not in love, you shouldn't get married!"

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steph