Nothing in common with other students?

I am already in my 3rd semester, but I have absolutely nothing in common with the other students. I am a traditional student, I live with my parents, and my values are not what anyone would call traditional. Meanwhile, the other students are almost all married, with children, or they are in a significant long term relationship and almost all of them are very conservative. Not all of them are older, but I live in a very Christian and LDS community were people normally get married in their early 20s.

While they talk about their husbands/wives/girlfriends/boyfriends and/or children, I sit and listen.

I was a political science major so my interests are entirely different than those of my fellow students.

Anyone else feel a little left out of their nursing schools culture?

[bekindtokittens]

Being in my thirties, married, but with no kids...you'd think the way some people stared that I had grown a third eye or something. So now I tend to keep most of what separates me from my classmates, to myself.

I can usually find something in common with people, and just try to go with that. Hey, and the weather is always a safe topic...heh.

I used to feel that way... so many go into nursing as second careers that literally a few of us (out of 90!) were fresh out of high school...

I dont have that much in common with a lot of them (and too live with my parents, on the weekends) but I still enjoy their company and we have fun... I have my own life outside of nursing school and sometimes I like to keep it that way. But anyways, no you are not alone. :)

[psalm, RN]

Being in my thirties, married, but with no kids...you'd think the way some people stared that I had grown a third eye or something. So now I tend to keep most of what separates me from my classmates, to myself.

I can usually find something in common with people, and just try to go with that. Hey, and the weather is always a safe topic...heh.

...or kitties!

[psalm, RN]

Actually, although I was 46 when I started, some of my buddies in nursing school were the age of my kids! I never got asked out to bar hop, but we did talk about politics, school, weather, cooking, how to stay alive in nursing school, how we studied, etc.

[bekindtokittens]

...or kitties!

Oh yes, kitties are always a safe and enthusiastic topic with me!

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN, CNS]

You can always discuss school, instructors, upcoming clinicals, the job market.

All of these subjects should interest everyone regardless of background.

I went to NS in my 30's and to be honest, 16 years later, I couldn't name one classmate or instructor. It was just such a small blip in my life. I went there with a goal, studied, graduated and went on. Maybe finding something outside of school will bring you the involvement you want?

[Bortaz, MSN, RN]

I am an older student surrounded by a lot of younger kids. I am also one of two people of my race in my group. I am also one of 2 or 3 of my sex in the group.

So no, I don't particularly fit in. But, it's cool, because I'm not there to fit in.

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

Being in my thirties, married, but with no kids...you'd think the way some people stared that I had grown a third eye or something. So now I tend to keep most of what separates me from my classmates, to myself.

Ditto!

And I could care less too. It's much less stressful that way, you don't hear or get involved in the petty gossip that sometimes goes on.

[DLS_PMHNP, MSN, RN, NP]

So no, I don't particularly fit in. But, it's cool, because I'm not there to fit in.

Amen to that!

[ViolettaCCU, MSN]

my first semester was like that - we were a very ecclectic group and really didn't mesh. however, i did persist in helping others out and offering myself. after a while i got tired of not getting an reciprocation or thankfulness that i just let it go...i got to thinking that nursing school is only a temporary time in my life...there is so much more that i'll be experiencing when this is all over. so maybe i won't look back at my old classmates as fondly. life goes on....

in the meantime, i found my own study group with some gals i met on this forum. we found out that we were all going to the same nursing program. even though we were in different sections, we were still able to hook up via the internet (especially im!) and tough it out together. i am fortunate that this semester most of us are in the same section so now we really rock! i wish you the best!

I completely understand where you are coming from. I am in a 2nd degree program, and I am definitely the youngest at 22 (I jumped right from one degree to another). Most people in the class are at least 4 or 5 years older than me, so they have a considerable amount of "life experience" than I do. I always feel like odd gal out and don't fit in well. But, like others had said before, its always easy to connect over your similar situation...school! Talk about clinicals, exams, papers, professors, etc. It sometimes isn't much, but its usually enough.

I can relate to where your coming from. I am 20 and live with my mom, so I feel like sometimes others think I'm not capable due to lack of life experiences. However, I think that's ridiculous. I have my heart set on being a nurse and can work as hard as anyone else, with or without life experiences. Also, I think people believe I have no responsibility because I still live with my mom and I'm young. It's a little irritating because I am responsible for everything I own and my mom and I support each other, financially and emotionally. They have no idea what I have gone through in my life or what I am currently going through. There will always be people who judge you before getting to know you. I just don't let it get to me because I know who I really am. We are all going to school for the same reason, no matter our age or our lifestyles. I just do what I need to do and in the end when I am a successful RN, maybe they will understand that.

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

I'm a part timer who never saw the same people more than one semester so I know the feeling. Now that I'm in my 4th semester (which for me is 1 yr in length), I find that over half the class are part timers and I'll finally see some of them during Clinical next semester. It was so nice to walk in and actually know people. I do have to admit that I still feel gaurded because I have to keep my eyes on graduation and socializing when I could be using my time better, will throw me off track. As a woman entering her 40's I can say that I would love to have students in class that are very different. You just be yourself and remember to keep your eyes on the prize.

Many times there are groups of really good friends, but I've also found that many of the other students are doing just what I do, buckling down and studying. Some may feel the same way as you do. You will have plenty of time to make work friends when you pass your boards!

yep, I have definitely relate, but I also agree with the other post, I'm not here to fit in. I don't let it bother me at all, but everyone think I have a husband and kids for some strange reason.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

Yeah, I feel the same way some times. I moved home to be with my elderly parents, all my stuff's in storage and I'm in nursing school (LPN, now in RN program) and a student will be talking about how bad a night they had with the boyfriend, and I'm thinking, "yes, and I came home after a 12 hr shift to find my mom had started to cook, went back to bed, and I got the skillet off the stove probably 30 seconds before the kitchen went up. I changed clothes, grabbed my books, and now I'm here, wondering about there. But yes, your boyfriend looking at another girl, absolutely critical."

Sorry, it's just been a rough weekend...

[walkingon, CNA, LPN]

Yeah, I feel the same way some times. I moved home to be with my elderly parents, all my stuff's in storage and I'm in nursing school (LPN, now in RN program) and a student will be talking about how bad a night they had with the boyfriend, and I'm thinking, "yes, and I came home after a 12 hr shift to find my mom had started to cook, went back to bed, and I got the skillet off the stove probably 30 seconds before the kitchen went up. I changed clothes, grabbed my books, and now I'm here, wondering about there. But yes, your boyfriend looking at another girl, absolutely critical."

Sorry, it's just been a rough weekend...

:yeahthat: I totally getcha.....it's one of the things about going back to school later in life I think. One day those youngsters will be us, and will understand why we were the way we were in school.

[suanna]

Although I was only in my late 20s when went to nursing school there was a big gap between myself and my peers. When they were moaning about having a paper to finish so they didn't know if they could go to some concert or another I was worried how much longer I could go on 2-3 hrs of sleep a day and still support my family by working FT while going to school. I felt a little left out of the comradery they shared- I had no study partners, no one to call if I had a question about an assignment and no time to search for someone. I saw school as a means to an end. To this day I can barely remember my classes or my classmates (partly due to sleep deprivation). I guess bonding with my student peers wasn't that important to me but I admit it would have been nice to have at least a small group of intimate friends in school. I listen to nurses that I work with that went to a small diploma program 20-30 years ago. Living at the school, having a "house mother" , having the school tell you what time to get up, go to bed, what to eat, what to wear- even in your off hours-YUCK!!, and still they talk about it as if it was the grandest time of thier lives. Friendships they formed in those years have endured for decades. I can see I missed something. I hope you can find some of this in bonding your school.

[casi, ASN, RN]

Don't let your differences be a barrier. My group of nursing school friends range from their 20's to their 50's with a variety of life experiences and from a variety of cultures. Even though there are LOTS of things we don't have in common there is one thing we do have in common, NURSING SCHOOL!

Just jump in and be friendly. Talk about school, ask about life expereiences, learn with them, pass mild notes in boring lectures (Yes the person I pass notes with in class is 25 years older than me), fool around in lab together, and use lunch to vent...

[whiteoleander5]

I feel the same way!... Most of my nursemates are married with children, or at least older. I'm only 20. I feel like a baby compared to everyone else, and sometimes Im afraid they look down on me because of that.

Its only been a week of classes, and i feel like somebody has at least one good friend to talk to/study with in nursing. Others have groups of people. Im just not like that. I am still adjusting to nursing school itself, let alone introducing myself to others... Im hoping with time this will change. I always feel better when I have a "buddy" to go through things with. But i am also familiar with this type of situation, as its been a reoccuring scenario in my life. Im introverted and thats the way ive always been, so i dunno why i expected for nursing school to be any different.

But i really am hoping to start talking to at least a few people soon.. as soon as i get situated & comfortable with my classes.

If not, then i guess my boyfriend will hear THAT much more about my nursing school woes....:chuckle