No longer enjoying my "dream" job.

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While still in nursing school I was offered and accepted what I perceived as my dream job as an RN on labor and delivery. I was so sure I wanted this position that I acquired STABLE and NRP before graduating nursing school, I met with the director of the department and loved our interaction, I was even looking into midwifery schools and planning my course of attack to apply.

Now, 15 months later, I'm struggling to muster up the drive to get to work each shift. To provide a little more context, I work 12 hour nights, there is a 6 year wait for a day shift position, and I have a 3 month old. Our unit is the largest in our city with 15 labor rooms, 9 antipartum rooms, and 6 triage beds. We also have 3 ORs I've trained to circulate. Though some shifts move through smoothly, most nights, the moment I return from transferring a patient to postpartum, I have another laboring mom waiting for me. Initially the adrenaline kept these nights from getting to me, but now after a pregnancy, a new baby, and pumping schedule, spending 4 hours in a patient room pushing and not being able to take a lunch (believe me, my team would offer to break me if they could, but under-staffing is also an ongoing issue, as all of us know all too well) is not feeling worth it to me anymore.

Has anyone else felt this way? I thought my resolve was so strong, but it only took 15 months for me to feel this kind of burnout. I guess my main concern is that if I do transfer to another unit, even if I can find a day shift position, will this just happen again in it's own unique way? Is the problem my idealistic idea of a perfect nursing position?

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You had a major life change( a baby) it's OK to feel this way. I've been in the field 10 years now and recently had a baby. My priorities have changed. I've put my career slightly to the side and that's Ok. You need to figure out what would suite your life best now. I would say the first thing is to try to get a Day position that maybe less stressful. I always say the best part of nursing is its versatility! You can always go back to L&D later in life.

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Can you afford to go per diem while the baby is young, then you could pick your shifts? What about going to work in a obstetrics office for a bit while the baby is young so you can get a 9-5 type job but still be with pregnant moms?

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I don't know if you'll be able to relate to my story, but I'm sure someone out there will. I hope it helps... I loved being a nurse anywhere I was at until I had my oldest son. Then I suddenly loathed working. I had always pictured myself as a hard working mom who set a good example for her kids... until I had them and wanted to spend every minute taking care of THEM. No one else. I couldn't find a job I liked to save my life. I even dropped out of school and started looking into other degrees. (I'm an LPN and had started getting prerequisites for an RN bridge program) I worked part time and PRN at a very low stress (and kind of boring) home health job to get by for a while. We were broke, (my husband was in school full time) and I felt like it was my fault, but I just couldn't handle any more than that. I wanted to give 100% of myself at home to my kids, but also 100% to my pts at work, and it was just too much. I ended up resenting my career choice because I didn't think I could handle the stress. I was too overwhelmed. I just wanted to take care of my family and had no energy anything else. Being a perfectionist, I felt incredibly guilty about it, tried my hardest anyway, got burnt out at everything I did quickly, and job hopped almost once a year with time off in between. I'm not normally that person! I was so ashamed of myself. My oldest son is in school now, and youngest is officially enrolled in preschool! I recently decided I missed putting more of my nursing skills to work after 2yrs at a home health job. Plus, I got into a situation with my husbands new job after graduation where I needed the same amount of money, but with less days a week. I ended up taking a position in a long term acute care hospital that does 12hr shifts. I LOVE IT! It has restored my love of nursing and I'm getting ready to start school again! My point? It really may just be that you're a new mom, and that's okay. If I had taken this job 2 years ago when my kids weren't in school I would have hated it just as much as the rest of them. (I WAS actually offered the job 2yrs ago and very glad I didn't take it! LOL I probably wouldn't have stayed!) I wouldn't have been able to handle the short staffing, the confused pts, the 12 hr night shifts, scared families that can challenging to work with. I would have been stressed out every minute and gotten burnt out within months. But now I can't wait to get my RN so I no longer have to hunt down an RN to give my IV push meds! I miss my boys on weekends, but it gives my husband who works through the week quality father-son time. They are getting older now, and I feel like it's okay for me to be gone a few days out of the week. I say fine to be "gone" because with back to back 12 hr shifts, you're either eating, sleeping, or working. Lol No time for anything else. I feel like a "real" nurse again, the one who gets excited to buy a new stethoscope, even more excited to try it out on her next shift, (can you tell I just got a new stethoscope?) :) who takes pride in caring for her pts, helping grieving families, and can handle the stressful shifts without it ruining her entire week and losing sleep over it. For 5yrs I felt miserable and guilty for not working full time. The last year I feel like me again. I get to take care of my pts on the weekends, and then get to spend the rest of the week being a "stay at home mom". My advice- go easy on yourself, don't give up on nursing, find something less stressful, work as few hrs a week as you can manage, learn to live with less for a while, and take care of yourself. It's too easy to get burnt out when you have to give 100% to everyone else, but don't even have enough time to give 10% to yourself. A few yrs from now that may be your dream job again! But for now, find something less stressful, and don't feel guilty about it. ;)

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

Do you have the option of applying for an L&D job at a less busy hospital?

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Thank you NurseNeLz. That's what I'm thinking, at least a day shift may be easier to tolerate while my kiddo is still so little. I've put in a couple transfer requests for days and am waiting semi-patiently to hear back. Thank you for your similar perspective, it makes me feel like I'm not totally crazy!

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Thank you greenerpastures, RN. I inquired about a per diem position with my supervisor and she let me know that our current per diems are only getting about two shifts per month currently. I've actually looked into OB office jobs and have given my resume to two of them. The problem is that they have no openings because they've shifted to MAs for basic vitals and procedures, so they only employ RNs for phone triage positions (it how I understand it anyway, from what I've been told).

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Thank you kj287. I can totally relate to your story! At least the first part (since my kiddo is only 3 months) rings so true. I love my time with her and feel like I don't feel intrigued by my nursing position any longer. It's definitely gone down on my priority list and I HATE that. Juggling the night shift schedule (at least at this point) doesn't help things- I just want to be awake when she's awake to enjoy her and all of her "firsts". My own labor actually when very differently than the majority of labors/births I attend, so that doesn't help my perspective at this point. I'm looking into daytime shifts and less stressful atmospheres currently, I'm crossing my fingers that I'll hear back soon!

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I can, but the only openings, again, are nights. There are only two options in my city for labor and delivery, so though the other hospital is smaller, it tends to be just as busy. I'm leaning towards transferring out of this department, at least for the time being.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

It doesn't sound like hospital is an LRDP. How about transferring to PP and then when you think you're ready, maybe when the baby is older, you can go back to L&D?

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Specializes in L&D.
Can you afford to go per diem while the baby is young, then you could pick your shifts? What about going to work in a obstetrics office for a bit while the baby is young so you can get a 9-5 type job but still be with pregnant moms?

...OB office don't exist for RNs anymore. I have found all medical offices being filled with techs and LPNs.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
...OB office don't exist for RNs anymore. I have found all medical offices being filled with techs and LPNs.

They do, they're just harder to find. I was a supervisor of an OB office in Denver that had 6-8 RNs.

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