Published Jul 13, 2015
smr21, BSN
16 Posts
Hi gang -
A little background on me - I'm a 35 year old new grad, who is part of a New Grad Residency program at a nearby hospital. I had a great career prior to nursing school, and was thrilled to get a spot in this cohort program on a progressive care unit. I oriented for two months on day shift, then a month on night shift and have been on my own on nights for about six weeks now (so about 4.5 months into this job).
When I first started nights, I struggled hard, I cried on my way home, I slept poorly, etc.. Which is not unusual for new grads; between being new and being on nights, I wasn't surprised to face some challenges. And, having another career under my belt, I have dealt with stressful work situations before. After figuring out my sleep schedule things got better for a few weeks, and I thought "Yes! I'm doing it! I'm being a nurse! Woohoo!" However, that only lasted a few weeks, and these last few weeks I've been on a downward trend.
I certainly don't want to come across as complaining - I am incredibly grateful to have found a job on this floor - really supportive coworkers, great charge nurses, and as part of a program directed to helping new RNs transition into practice. What I have been experiencing is a big increase in irritability on my days off, and just generally feeling down in the dumps. I wonder if I'm stumbling into a bout of depression (never had any mental health issues before).
I've always been a very athletic person, and working out (which has always been my go to stress relief, and just source of fun and community) isn't fun anymore. Even hanging out with good friends, I don't have fun and feel like I'm just putting on a brave face. I snap at my spouse of three years randomly, and the other day lost it and yelled at the dog for no good reason (I mean, she did eat poop in the yard, but what dog doesn't eat poop? This isn't new behavior for the dog, it's new behavior for me). I've been very low energy, and just haven't felt like myself in several weeks, I'm not enjoying my job and I'm not enjoying my days off. My spouse has commented on it, and at first I didn't want to believe him, but I think he's right. My general emotional lability and down-in-the-dumps attitude are taking a toll on him as well.
And, the last shift I worked, I had a patient try and get out of bed and fall. I was getting report on a new admit; another nurse heard the bed alarm and by the time she ran to the door, the patient was already on his way down. Immediately my coworkers were rushing to the room with me and helping (did I mention I work on an awesome unit?) but my own emotional response was zero, zilch, nothing. That's never happened to me - I've always felt some sympathy/empathy towards my patients. Not to an unhealthy level, I'm pretty good at leaving my patients at work when I go home; but y'know, I've always felt for them being in a hard situation. But not this time - and that scares me.
I've talked with other RNs in my cohort, and none of them are having this experience or questioning their career choice. This feels like when I've gotten burnt out in my prior jobs, and I'm concerned that I'm experiencing burn out so soon into this job. I'm not sure if it's working nights, if it's me, if I'm not cut out to be at the bedside or what. I'm meeting with one of my mentors from nursing school next week, but would love to hear advice from other RNs out there as well before going to my manager or NUS. Have you seen new grads have similar struggles? What did they do?
Currently, my options seem limited, as I'm not exactly hireable with so little experience. I am on the list to go to day shift (and I'm the only one on that list, the other night shift RNs on my floor love nights), but nights are super short staffed right now so it doesn't look like I'll be switching any time soon. And, to be honest, right now I'm just doubting whether I should be an RN in general, so I don't think switching to days will help - it might just stress me out more! I'm thinking of asking to go part time, at least for a while, and also thinking about going to a counselor to see if that helps. My fear is that I'll be told I can't go to part time and that going to a counselor won't help me enough, I'm worried that I'm past the point of no return. I have my yearly check up in a few weeks, so I'll definitely bring it up with my doctor - but I'd love to avoid using antidepressants. Anyway, I'll wrap up this novel of a post, but I sincerely would appreciate hearing from anyone who has had a similar experience, or known someone with similar experiences.
Thanks in advance!
MLSTTS2015
44 Posts
I am a new grad as well and I will be switching to nights this week. I am very nervous but I am hoping it will work out.Luckily there are needs on both shifts and I have an awesome manager so if nights don't work out I can go to days fairly quickly. I have heard that some people physically cant do nights their bodies just never really adjust to it. I would try talking to your manager and let him/her know that it is affecting your health and your worried that it is going to seriously affect your level of care. This may speed up the process of going to days. Dont give up on nursing yet, I am sure it will be much better once you switch to days. I wish you the best of luck.
meanmaryjean, DNP, RN
7,899 Posts
How much sleep are you getting? Between shifts and on stretches off?
ERNurse80
1 Post
You are definitely not alone with those feelings. I think it's pretty normal for new grads to feel overwhelmed and doubt themselves in the first year. Being on night shift probably has a lot to do with your irritability...I was on night shift for two years and felt depressed most of the time. My body was confused about when it should sleep and eat. When you mess with your body's basic human needs, it messes with your mental functioning....I too felt the feelings you described but though it was "normal" to feel that way on night shift. I recently got a job on days and my whole physical and mental being is a complete turn around. Some people just aren't made for night shift and that's okay! Hang in there.
meanmaryjean:
So, I take a unisom and melatonin between my shifts, and get around 6 hours, sometimes 7. On my stretches off, sleep is really hit or miss. I'm hesitant to get too reliant on sleep aids, but sometimes I will take a unisom or melatonin to help out. Typically, after my third shift on I won't take a sleep aid and I'll sleep until around 1300/1400, and then go back to bed around 2030 (any later than that and I get a second wind and can't get back to sleep). Then I'll typically sleep until around 0200, get up and read for a bit, back to bed at 0400/0500 for another hour or two of sleep. And that pattern (up at 0200 for a few hours) has been how I'll sleep during my stretches off since I've been on nights. Every once in a while I'll sleep the whole night through on my stretches off, which feels really great.
I have sleep issues and My dr prescribed me trazadone...its used for anxiety and depression but now its being used more and more for insomnia...(the reason I use it) I only take 25 mg and it doesnt make me drowsy and sluggish when I wake up as long as I get at least 4-5 hours of sleep. I tried things like unisom none of them worked and all made me very sluggish. I havnt asked my Dr yet about taking it during the day when I switch to nights but I don't see why I wouldn't be able to. maybe its something you could look into or ask your Dr about?
~PedsRN~, BSN, RN
826 Posts
I will tell you what you are feeling is NOT uncommon in the first year of licensure. I think a lot of new nurses struggle with the job. Make sure you are taking time for yourself, taking care of yourself, etc. Hang in there. It should get better.
VRS82, BSN
On 7/13/2015 at 12:40 PM, smr21 said: Hi gang - A little background on me - I'm a 35 year old new grad, who is part of a New Grad Residency program at a nearby hospital. I had a great career prior to nursing school, and was thrilled to get a spot in this cohort program on a progressive care unit. I oriented for two months on day shift, then a month on night shift and have been on my own on nights for about six weeks now (so about 4.5 months into this job). When I first started nights, I struggled hard, I cried on my way home, I slept poorly, etc.. Which is not unusual for new grads; between being new and being on nights, I wasn't surprised to face some challenges. And, having another career under my belt, I have dealt with stressful work situations before. After figuring out my sleep schedule things got better for a few weeks, and I thought "Yes! I'm doing it! I'm being a nurse! Woohoo!" However, that only lasted a few weeks, and these last few weeks I've been on a downward trend. I certainly don't want to come across as complaining - I am incredibly grateful to have found a job on this floor - really supportive coworkers, great charge nurses, and as part of a program directed to helping new RNs transition into practice. What I have been experiencing is a big increase in irritability on my days off, and just generally feeling down in the dumps. I wonder if I'm stumbling into a bout of depression (never had any mental health issues before). I've always been a very athletic person, and working out (which has always been my go to stress relief, and just source of fun and community) isn't fun anymore. Even hanging out with good friends, I don't have fun and feel like I'm just putting on a brave face. I snap at my spouse of three years randomly, and the other day lost it and yelled at the dog for no good reason (I mean, she did eat poop in the yard, but what dog doesn't eat poop? This isn't new behavior for the dog, it's new behavior for me). I've been very low energy, and just haven't felt like myself in several weeks, I'm not enjoying my job and I'm not enjoying my days off. My spouse has commented on it, and at first I didn't want to believe him, but I think he's right. My general emotional lability and down-in-the-dumps attitude are taking a toll on him as well. And, the last shift I worked, I had a patient try and get out of bed and fall. I was getting report on a new admit; another nurse heard the bed alarm and by the time she ran to the door, the patient was already on his way down. Immediately my coworkers were rushing to the room with me and helping (did I mention I work on an awesome unit?) but my own emotional response was zero, zilch, nothing. That's never happened to me - I've always felt some sympathy/empathy towards my patients. Not to an unhealthy level, I'm pretty good at leaving my patients at work when I go home; but y'know, I've always felt for them being in a hard situation. But not this time - and that scares me. I've talked with other RNs in my cohort, and none of them are having this experience or questioning their career choice. This feels like when I've gotten burnt out in my prior jobs, and I'm concerned that I'm experiencing burn out so soon into this job. I'm not sure if it's working nights, if it's me, if I'm not cut out to be at the bedside or what. I'm meeting with one of my mentors from nursing school next week, but would love to hear advice from other RNs out there as well before going to my manager or NUS. Have you seen new grads have similar struggles? What did they do? Currently, my options seem limited, as I'm not exactly hireable with so little experience. I am on the list to go to day shift (and I'm the only one on that list, the other night shift RNs on my floor love nights), but nights are super short staffed right now so it doesn't look like I'll be switching any time soon. And, to be honest, right now I'm just doubting whether I should be an RN in general, so I don't think switching to days will help - it might just stress me out more! I'm thinking of asking to go part time, at least for a while, and also thinking about going to a counselor to see if that helps. My fear is that I'll be told I can't go to part time and that going to a counselor won't help me enough, I'm worried that I'm past the point of no return. I have my yearly check up in a few weeks, so I'll definitely bring it up with my doctor - but I'd love to avoid using antidepressants. Anyway, I'll wrap up this novel of a post, but I sincerely would appreciate hearing from anyone who has had a similar experience, or known someone with similar experiences. Thanks in advance!
I found this while searching for topics on new grad night shift difficulties... this is me right now except I am 38!! I was wondering where you are now in your career and how long you lasted on night shift!
Eeks, BSN, RN
8 Posts
I see that this is an old post with some newer request for follow up. So here's my experience: I worked in the hospital on nights for 2.5 years and it felt like I lost that time except for my time at work. I didn't take sleep aids (because they made me so hungover feeling) but my life revolved around when I would sleep and how much I could get. It sounds like OP is describing depression which is concerning but not unusual. When I did new grad orientation we talked about the valley of despair happening about 6 months in and triggering lots of doubts about capability and whether nursing was even there right choice. These feelings are so common and I was very unhappy in general working that schedule even though I was a relative night owl. It did get easier once I got into something of a rhythm but the way you group your shifts can really affect how well that works (3 on - 2 off - 3 on was perfect for me). On my days off I would go to the 24 hour grocery store and 24 hour gym and it helped to have something to do on my schedule. When it was my turn to go to days I realized I would be even more miserable with how busy it was. So I took a job in a clinic! It has its own perks and drawbacks but I feel like myself again with the sleep schedule. Good luck, it is a very tough adjustment though. You should consider tapping into your Employee Assistance Program.
Hi,
Wow, I haven’t thought about that time in my career in a long time, haha! Well, I am still working as an RN and really loving it. A few months after I wrote that post, I ended up getting a spot on day shift. Days were hard, but I ended up really loving them. I also had more energy and was happier once I switched schedules.
I did go to a session through our Employee Assistance Program, which was hugely helpful. I agree with the prior response that it’s a good idea to tap into. The counselor I saw did say I was showing signs of clinical depression and talked about tools and options. But fortunately for me, I got a day shift slot not too long after that.
I have worked nights again since then, I took a travel contract that was nights only and found that when I had an end date night shift wasn’t too bad. I was able to buckle down and work that schedule for three months and then move on to the next thing. And for a while after we moved a few years ago, I could only get hired as a casual so would work mostly nights (because that’s what was available) but because I had a lot of autonomy about when and how much I worked, I think that made nights more bearable. So, I didn’t last too long on nights as a full time regular, but I would consider doing a night shift travel contract again someday because nights as a short term thing seemed to be easier for me. And currently, I’m full time in a procedural area (cardiac cath lab) so do some nighttime hours with on call, but mostly a daytime position.
The change in schedule made a big difference for me in regards to wondering whether nursing was a good career choice. At the time I wrote that post, I was really at the end of my rope. I’m really really lucky to have gotten onto day shift so quickly, and I’m not sure what would have happened if I had stayed on nights for a longer period of time. For me though, things worked out well and I’m glad to be in this profession now.
Good luck with the night shift! It’s super hard, but in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t let my night shift difficulties turn me off of nursing as a career choice.