Night shift & single moms how DO you do it?

tiroka03, LPN · Nov 22, 2004

Its not always easy. You didn't mention the ages of your children. You also didn't give much info on this person living with you and watching your kids.

I started working nights with two kids ages 15 and 6. Now they are 23 and 14. I was living in an apartment and had extrememly good neighbors. The kids just had to knock on the inbetween walls if something came up, and the neighbors would come over. Then we moved and my mother lived with us for a couple years, although she was an adult presence, the kids watched over her, more then the other way around. Now, my oldest son is in college and we made the basement of our house into an apartment. He lives down there and watchs out for her during the night.

Getting my dtr to school is a daunting task, as she doesn't like to move in the morning, and I want to fall over in a dead sleep. But, finally she is beginning to take responsibility for herself. With the incentive, I will not sign an excuse for her being late if she deciedes to sleep late. SO then she has to answer to the principal rather than me for her actions. This seems to work rather well. Now I can go to sleep as soon as I get home and wake up sooner.

I find premaking my dinner helps. It is extremely hard to wake up at 4pm and have a couple of hungry kids wanting dinner at 5. All I want to do is lounge with a cup of coffee. So, I got myself a vacum sealing machine. I cut up chicken or other meat into cooking porportions. I will cut up chicken breasts into strips and freeze the amt I need, or make hamburges up and freeze them, I have made pizza dough mixes, ect. Anything to save time. Then I pull out the meat, 5 min in microwave, and 10 on the stove and I am almost ready to eat. I get any time saving appliance every made. The best is a microwave rice cooker. Just dump in the rice and water,and 15 mins later you have rice, and if you cooked your chicken will the rice was in the microwave, you now have a stir fry almost done in 15 mins, while you are still drinking your breakfast coffee.

Housework takes up a goodly amount of time, but then it does for everyone. You may find you can't sleep on your nights off, or fall asleep at weird times. Expect this and have a plan to use your alone time wisely.

I am going to school also and work full time nights. It may get a little packed in timewise, but everything seems to get done. If it don't there is always next week, month or year depending upon what you missed.

I would recomend always making time for the important things, holidays. There are always ways to cheat, like old country buffett, but it's not always the best choice. Sometimes a little good old fashioned exhustion in order to see the faces of your children enjoying a holiday or a birthday part is really worth it. Sleep will come sooner or maybe later. You will adjust, it's not really all that bad.

Good luck in your new job. It takes a while to get it right,so give yourself time.

Jo Dirt · Nov 22, 2004

I'm trying to get the hang of the night shift (7pm-7am) and it isn't going well. I'm exhausted all the time and am starting to get really grouchy. Whats worse is that I am trying to go to school also and am just so exhausted I can't concentrate on my studies.

On top of that I have three kids and I turned 30 yrs. old today.

Nursesuzi · Nov 22, 2004

My kids are 6 and 11. I have 89% custoday. I am just started my nursing career and after 2 years of extreme stress, full time kids, taking care of elderly parents, I decided to use some of my divorce settment and order up an aupair for one year. A gift for my career and my sanity. I have her 45 hours/week. However, on the weeks I work, that time includes watching the kids at night when I work. She just got here. I think it will be a big help, but her time does not include maid service or cooking, it's pretty regulated by the government. She will do laundrey though! yipee! Thanks for the advice on meals, sounds like you've been doing this for a while.

My concerns are mainly getting sleep and organizing my time. My sleep during the past year has been bad to begin with. My dad passed last thursday. Mom is legally blind, so I am now responsible for helping organize her finances, etc. I usually only can stay asleep 5 hours. I function OK. However, I am not a napper and am afraid I will not sleep at all during the day. Any tricks here? I don't want to during into a zombie and win the crankie mom award from this job. S

I'm

Its not always easy. You didn't mention the ages of your children. You also didn't give much info on this person living with you and watching your kids.
I started working nights with two kids ages 15 and 6. Now they are 23 and 14. I was living in an apartment and had extrememly good neighbors. The kids just had to knock on the inbetween walls if something came up, and the neighbors would come over. Then we moved and my mother lived with us for a couple years, although she was an adult presence, the kids watched over her, more then the other way around. Now, my oldest son is in college and we made the basement of our house into an apartment. He lives down there and watchs out for her during the night.
Getting my dtr to school is a daunting task, as she doesn't like to move in the morning, and I want to fall over in a dead sleep. But, finally she is beginning to take responsibility for herself. With the incentive, I will not sign an excuse for her being late if she deciedes to sleep late. SO then she has to answer to the principal rather than me for her actions. This seems to work rather well. Now I can go to sleep as soon as I get home and wake up sooner.
I find premaking my dinner helps. It is extremely hard to wake up at 4pm and have a couple of hungry kids wanting dinner at 5. All I want to do is lounge with a cup of coffee. So, I got myself a vacum sealing machine. I cut up chicken or other meat into cooking porportions. I will cut up chicken breasts into strips and freeze the amt I need, or make hamburges up and freeze them, I have made pizza dough mixes, ect. Anything to save time. Then I pull out the meat, 5 min in microwave, and 10 on the stove and I am almost ready to eat. I get any time saving appliance every made. The best is a microwave rice cooker. Just dump in the rice and water,and 15 mins later you have rice, and if you cooked your chicken will the rice was in the microwave, you now have a stir fry almost done in 15 mins, while you are still drinking your breakfast coffee.
Housework takes up a goodly amount of time, but then it does for everyone. You may find you can't sleep on your nights off, or fall asleep at weird times. Expect this and have a plan to use your alone time wisely.
I am going to school also and work full time nights. It may get a little packed in timewise, but everything seems to get done. If it don't there is always next week, month or year depending upon what you missed.
I would recomend always making time for the important things, holidays. There are always ways to cheat, like old country buffett, but it's not always the best choice. Sometimes a little good old fashioned exhustion in order to see the faces of your children enjoying a holiday or a birthday part is really worth it. Sleep will come sooner or maybe later. You will adjust, it's not really all that bad.
Good luck in your new job. It takes a while to get it right,so give yourself time.

Nursesuzi · Nov 22, 2004

I can't imagine working, going to school and having 3 kids. I'll stop feeling sorry for myself now. School is a whole other type of stress. I hope you have a good support system. These boards are great for giving us ideas on coping. Good luck to you.

I'm trying to get the hang of the night shift (7pm-7am) and it isn't going well. I'm exhausted all the time and am starting to get really grouchy. Whats worse is that I am trying to go to school also and am just so exhausted I can't concentrate on my studies.
On top of that I have three kids and I turned 30 yrs. old today.

LydiaNN · Nov 22, 2004

Any pearls of wisdom?
Hi guys, I am starting my first night shift on Sunday. I am a single mom and am nervous about juggling responsibilites and living w/lack of sleep. I do have some help as I have a person living w/me to help w/the kids. However, I'm just nervous about the transition of working strange hours, 4 nights/week. To complicate things I'm just coming off a 2 week LOA due to my father's death, so I'm feeling disoriented. I oriented for 4 months on days (L&D). :uhoh21:

Buy yourself a good blackout mask that will block all light. Those wax earplugs are also a great $2 investment (even if you do end up with bits of wax in your hair like I always seemed to). IMO, they block out sound much better than any other type of earplug. Consider having white noise of some sort in your bedroom. No matter how you're tempted, don't let yourself drink caffeine during the last half of your shift.

gauge14iv, MSN, APRN, NP · Nov 22, 2004

The thing that helped me the most was dark curtains over the windows in my room. I also painted the room a deep purple so that I could make it VERY dark in there during the day.

On my answering machine I would tell callers a time that I can be expected to return calls - like between 3 and 7 pm on Tues and Thurs (not that I worked nights or anything tho) That way they don't just keep calling.

My kids never understood my needing to sleep during the day - and so I eventually had to leave nights...I'm a day shifter now and wouldnt have it any other way for my sanity's sake, but I loved the night shift itself. Once the kids are grown I may do it again.

hoolahan, ASN, RN · Nov 22, 2004

Happy Birthday LPN to RN!!!

nursesuzi, is it essential you need or want to work nights? You could find a job in homecare or a public health position doing well mom baby visits and have much more flexibility with your time. Ex, if the kids have a school play, you can schedule your visits around that to be there during the day. Just a thought.

I worked PT nights, and I was married, but my husband had to swing shift, so I'd take my son to my mother-in-laws. We got a crib over there, a playpen and a highchair, she was wonderful, and would also watch him while I slept. Then my dtr came along, and she helped me again, but it got really hard when the kids went to school, because she didn't drive, and I couldn't get a bus for my kids from 2 places. School didnt start til 8:30, so I'd race out of work at 7:30, 45 min ride, and get the kids off to school, then sleep til 2:15. I oversplet to get them twice. I explained it to my son's 1st grade teacher that I worked nights and overslept, she said, "OH I understand, I call them power naps..." Uh, no honey you really do NOT understand, lol

Good luck to you!

tiroka03, LPN · Nov 23, 2004

You have a lot emotionally on your plate right now. For goodness sake your dad just passed. You have yet another responsibility to handle.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings, I went through this several years ago. I was a zoombie then, it was hard and frustrating. Yet, I always wanted to do so much. My mom eventually lived with me for two years. Inside myself, I fought anger and frustration, I would gladly give and give, yet it kept draining me dry. Then I would feel these feelings of frustration and even anger. I kept them to myself, as I was shocked at my feelings. Truth is you can only handle so much at one time. People do have limits to what they physically can endure, and when you add over the top emotional pain, well it's hard, very very hard.

On top of that you are working nights and going to school. I've done it, and was totally frustrated and did a lot of crying and even hit my pillow a few times. But, life has a way of continuing, and thats a good thing. Tomorrow will come. Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow.

I suggest using that au pair and taking some time for yourself. You might think, then it takes away from my kids. But, the truth is, if you rebuild yourself, you will automatically give more to them.

You have the added joys and challenges of school aged kids. You don't have to be supermom. Just be around and let them learn to enjoy doing things with you. Like, it's laundry night tonight, what fun, make it like a fun time for your kids. Remeber when you were dating? It didn't matter where you went or what you did, it was being with HIM that counted. Kids are a lot like that, they love YOU. They just want to be around you. It doesn't have to be a big thing, just living, doing dishes together or cleaning the living room can be fun if you let it.

Maybe I'm from the other side of the tracks, but living by itself is the ultimate challenge. Lving well while enduring the many circumstances that come your way is what it's about. Some days, all you can do is survive, others will be better. It's not necessarily working nights that's so hard, living is hard all by itself.

Tonight I cleaned half of my room, that's all I had engery to do, no one will judge me, and I don't care if the jobs only half done, some other day the rest will be done, and the first will be undone. I asked my son to make tuna surprise, and it was good. My dtr threw a fit over having to hang up her new clothes. She went from a size 10 to a size 16 in 3 months, also a size 36C. Help! But, that would have happened wheter I worked nights or not.

I believe strongly in controlling the environment in your home. I watch and plan for different areas. Noise, smell, light, temp, color. My house is on a very busy street, so it is stressful to continully hear the traffic, so I have soft music playing a lot. Is there a weird smell, find it and get rid of it, figure out what you want your bathrooms and bedrooms to smell like. Is there too much light, or too little, ect. Sleep can be affected by these things. My bedroom is painted a soft grey, and I have put insulation in my windows, then blackout shades, and then dark blinds, and insulated drapes over that. No light enters my room, without me letting it happen. I like orange and also vanilla. I will put a few drops on my pillow. I also fall asleep when I listen to stories, but the radio will keep me awake. So, I have a chache of stories by my bed and a cassesstte player. The only phone call I take is from the school, and they know to call late in the afternoon, unless its an emergency. I also put a memory foam pad on my bed and it's oh so comfortable. It's cool, so I have a lot of heavy blankets and a heating pad that will automatically turn off. I put on a outrageiously ugly pair of warm comfy PJ's and snuggle in, always setting my alarm, so I wake before my dtr comes home, so I don't have to worry about her. My worries put away, I say a heartfelt prayer and place my breathright strip on my nose and fall alsleep.

You may need a little medical help to sleep, for a while I used sonata, it makes you fall alseep quickly and lasts for 4 hours, no aftereffect. I used that when I had to take my mom's accu check every 4 hours, had to wake up in the middle of my sleep to do it, couldn't get back to sleep, and this med worked well. There are answers, really there is.

Good luck

allnurses Guide · Nov 23, 2004

I always get too hot, but like my covers. A standing fan that sweeps back and forth helps me a lot, gives you the white noise too.

Let yourself grieve, hug your kids a lot, and remember, there are many fewer docs and families to hassle you on nights!

Haven't willingly worked a day shift for 20 years. Got 3 kids and we homeschool. Works if your kids are willing to study on their own when you are asleep (lots of self directed curriculums out there), and save questions for when you are awake. Mine are older now, but started having to do it on their own at ages 6, 9, and 12.

tiroka03, LPN · Nov 23, 2004

Wow, I'm impressed. I homeschooled my son for a year. The best year of my life, Loved it big time. We had so much fun. But, I divorced and worked full time ever since. Wonderful thing to do.