Friending patient families on social media?

KKEGS, MSN, RN · Apr 25, 2018

The hospital that I work for has a social media policy that forbids "friending" former patients and their families. While that is the official policy I don't know if the hospital every enforces it. I know many nurses who are not only friends on FB but have attended birthday parties and even weddings of their former patients' parents.

I would go with what your gut is telling you. If it doesn't feel right to you then don't do it. I have established boundaries between myself and my patients and their families. Yes, I have been asked to be "friends" on FB and I just say no, I am not allowed to do that. I have yet to have a family get upset when I tell them no. My reasons for doing so are that I prefer to keep my personal and professional lives separate. I also feel like calling my former patients' families my "friends" isn't quite right. I think the intensity of the NICU and the fact that you do care for these babies for many, many months can create a feeling of intimacy with the family but, for me anyway, it's a false sense of intimacy that is heightened by the intense emotions associated with intensive care work.

Anyway, that's my two cents. :)

NICURN29 · Apr 28, 2018

I know I am often in the minority on this one, but I am friends with former patients' family members on FB and often follow them on Instagram. I do not ever initiate the social media relationship, and I won't be friends with them on social media until after their babies are discharged, but I do love seeing updates and such.

I also let that sort of inform what I am willing to share on social media. Knowing that patient families are seeing my posts and also because I am very serious about conducting myself appropriately as a member of the nursing profession and an employee of my network limits what I am willing to put online about myself.

Nizips1993 · May 10, 2018

Hospital must be responsable for you and your carier aswell! In rest it should be good!

darren_callcareer18 · Jul 14, 2018

It is okay to give your contact information if the family is no longer under the hospital/facility. I have seen many questions about this and it is okay.

preemiepoweredRN · Jul 15, 2018

Follow your heart.

Saying that, I would clearly not jeopardize my license or job for the sake of maintaining a relationship with a former patient, so if you feel that continuing the relationship would some how be non beneficial down the road, Don't do it! "Most" NICU families have pure intentions in wanting to stay in contact. From my experience, I think its a great relationship to maintain- if its done correctly, with the right families, under the right conditions. It has always been permissible for me in the units I've worked to remain contact after discharge and I have for many over the years. I NEVER GIVE out health advice/opinions at ((ANY)) time. You must ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES from the beginning, which should always include that either of you can stop the interaction at anytime, for any reason. Another thought, maybe not use social media and use a private email dedicated for this purpose? Limit the information you share of yourself; if meeting, always in a public setting. I've never had a negative experience with doing this, but you will know that families that you can do this with and those you cannot. Follow your heart. Good luck to you.

nerdynurse08 · Jul 18, 2018

While our hospital policy does not forbid the practice, I strongly caution against any of the nurses on my unit (I am a NICU supervisor) from friending families of current patients and I certainly never would. I don't have a problem with nurses who friend families after they discharge, however. Personally, I am only friends with one family. I was primary for one of their triplets who was eventually taken off of ventilator support and passed away.

may1787, BSN, RN · Jul 18, 2018

I see nurses do this all the time as well and it's 100% unprofessional, especially if you are the person to contact and the family then feels obligated to say yes which can create awkwardness and tension if they don't feel they are on that level with you.

What I suggest if you are interested is at the end of the patient stay give them a congratulatory card and within you can include contact information with the suggestion that if they're are interested in remaining in touch they can contact you in the listed ways. I do this with my primary families.

nerdynurse08 · Jul 19, 2018

I've had families find me and request to be my friend but I ignore or decline the request because we didn't have a close NICU relationship like the one I have with the family I mentioned above. I think if the connection is made AFTER discharge it is not a matter of professional or unprofessional (as long as the nurse uses social media responsibly).

nerdynurse08 · Jul 19, 2018

I also have to say that I agree with the awkwardness when it concerns staff members friending each other. As a supervisor, I don't request to friend anyone but if someone friends me I will usually accept just so they don't feel awkward but to decrease the "need" to friend just to have a way to stay in touch, I did create a private facebook group for only our staff members (no families allowed). You can't find it if you search for it and a person can only join if they are added by a current staff member. All staff who leave are removed immediately. This allows staff to connect without feeling the pressure to add one another as friends.

This way nurses can also coordinate trades, potlucks, share information, etc. I use it too for important and/or time sensitive announcements because I know the majority of the staff members don't check their email unless they are at work and sometimes there are things they need to know ahead of time.

Edited to add: I only use social media for sharing pictures of my kids, so their grandparents can enjoy, and for animal memes. So I feel comfortable accepting friend requests from staff members to prevent the awkwardness.

fifita2010 · Jul 26, 2018

One word: Don't