Newly qualified desperate to quit after 3 weeks

[Buttercup22]

Hey.

I'm looking for advice/support/thoughts.

So I qualified in March and started my first job 3 weeks ago.

I'm so sad and low.

I was so unhappy through my training. I got top marks throughout, won an award at uni but no matter what the achievement, it never made me feel truly happy. The responsibilities, the blame culture, the cold, clinical environment... I guess the reason I stuck with it because there was so much expectation: my parents were so proud, so much money had been put into my training and moving away from home.

I also hoped that qualifying would somehow change how I felt about nursing...that i'd learn to love it.

But, 3 weeks in to my first job, I've never felt so sure that this is not what I want to do. Or at least, not where I am.

I've cried everyday for the past 3 weeks, dreading every shift. I'm struggling to sleep, eat, and my energy to socialise has gone.

So much of me wants to resign, admit how I've been feeling for so long and accept it, but handing in my resignation would make me feel like such a weak failure/quitter. I'd feel like I've let down my parents, my friends, my university lecturers...everyone who has been so proud of me.

Has anyone ever experienced this?

Thank you for reading, even just writing this out has helped.

[JadedCPN, BSN, RN]

Without knowing any specifics as to WHY you are dreading every shift, I'm going to assume it is out of the fear that almost EVERY new grad has. This is a normal feeling that lasts far longer than 3 weeks. 3 weeks isn't enough time to know if you like any job, let alone a brand new career as a nurse. Give yourself time and try to pinpoint what you do and don't like.

[GrumpyRN, NP]

You talk of the "responsibilities, the blame culture, the cold, clinical environment..." did you not see these things during training?

If it is just newbie nerves stick it out, but if it is something more deep-seated look around. You have a perfectly good degree, do something else. Do something YOU want to do. Never mind your parents or lecturers - you are an adult. Your friends should understand.

There is no point torturing yourself every day. WHY do you hate what you hate - is it nursing or is it just this job?

Talk to someone, your GP, the hospital occupational health service - that is what they are there for. Find out what YOU want.

Nursing is stressful enough without having what sounds like clinical depression.

Good luck.

[XB9S, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN, APN]

From what you describe you have questioned nursing as a career choice for some time.

This isn't about others expectations it's about what is right for you, and I have to be honest about what's right for the people you are charged with caring for. You have a responsibility to them to be passionate, motivated and driven to provide the best care you are able to. If you are unhappy in work you won't be able to focus on the people who you are caring for.

Was there any area you liked in your training? Could you be happy in another speciality?

[HandmadeRN]

Sorry to hear you're not enjoying your job.

It's difficult to tell what it is exactly that is making you not enjoy your job.

Is it

a) Newly Qualified Nerves - Trust me on this, everyone feels like this in their first job. There's an almighty leap between being a nursing student and suddenly being a staff nurse on a ward. Also, totally depends on where you get your first job. My first job was a cardiothoracic ward - mostly all pre-op or post op by a few days with a 1 to 6 ratio. Super supportive practice educators, proper preceptorship programme etc... And even though it was pretty stressful at times it wasn't as bad as my housemate at the time who would regularly have 1 to 11 ratio on a surgical orthopaedics/trauma ward (Even as a student I was so thankful I didn't get picked to do a placement on that ward!).

b) Disillusioned with Nursing in general - Yep. I get that too (in fact, I think a lot of people do! And I often think if i was starting out again ten years ago I would not pick this profession) Pay freeze for 7 years. Tick. Doing more and more junior doctor's work without the money. Tick. etc...

But if I can impart any useful advice it's this:

1. You are not a failure. You were awarded an academic prize. You have a degree. This is an accomplishment.

You can do anything you want with that degree. If nursing is not for you, you did not waste your time doing that. You will not disappoint your parents.

You need to dwell on the positives in your situation - you finished something that you knew you didn't want to do. It is a hard degree (work/life balance is completely different to other degrees).

Also 2. You have options!

- You can stick out your current job (if it's just newly qualified nerves)

- You can apply to do a non clinical job that's still utilises your experience and health knowledge (Good option if you are keen to stop being a nurse but still want to do something health related. This is what I did after i got disillusioned with my career.)

- Change direction and do a master's in something that does interest you more

- Quit nursing completely and do something else. Just because you have a nursing degree does not mean you have to do a nursing job.

[osceteacher]

I might be being a bit harsh but resign as soon as you've sorted something else out. This isn't for you.

And please, talk to your parents! If you think for a second they want you doing something that makes you cry every day because you don't want to let them down you'd be 100% wrong.

[caliotter3]

It boils down to 'if you want to quit, quit, but be prepared for the consequences'. You could end up in a better place, or you could end up unemployed for a very long time. That's the chance you take for the short term goal of immediate relief from discomfort.