New nurse attitude vs. experienced nurse attitude

MassED, BSN, RN · Oct 15, 2009

ok so i have been working in the or for a little over a year now and i am finally starting to feel much more experienced (although i know i am still learning). the or where i work is full of a lot of assertive/cocky nurses as well as surgeons. don't get me wrong there are some very nice people but the majority are not that pleasant. when i was a brand new nurse i figured the best way to survive was to be super nice to everyone so that i wouldn't be "attacked" and people would be more likely to help me out during my learning process. this worked for the most part but also caused me to tolerate some rude/mean comments and behaviors from other employees. i earned the reputation for "always smiling" and being super nice.... which normally wouldn't be a bad thing if i wasn't a sheep among wolves. now that i feel more confident and experienced i want to stop having that image so people won't think they can talk/treat me however they want and i won't speak up for myself. i guess my question is how does one make the transition from a new nurse "nice" attitude to a more assertive one.... i feel like im not taken seriously. any advice?

oohhhh how I feel your pain. A sheep among wolves. That is the best description of nursing... EVER.

I think we all want to start out optimistic and hopefully stay that way, but unfortunately, there are many that don't and will never be nice. It's so sad to say. I know who I can trust, laugh with, and really have great teamwork with - on the other hand, I know who are my enemies and who would never lift a hand to help, not even during a code. You can't change who they are - do your job and don't expect to have friends - the good ones will have your back. It IS a job.

Oh, and speak up for yourself! Rarely anyone else will do it for you. Nursing has taught me to be in-your-face when needed, esp to those "wolves." =)

D.R.A. · Oct 15, 2009

Look I'm not a nurse yet, but I will be.....and I have definately been the newbie who smiled and took crap. You wanna know my advice? Ya just stop taking the **** and let the jaws drop! That's the best way to deal with wolves......they only push you around cause they can. They'll adjust just as quickly to your new attitude as they did your old one (0:

BSNin2008 · Oct 17, 2009

I hear you on this one. I am new to the OR and cannot believe the attitudes I've encountered. It makes me wonder if I've made a huge mistake in going to the OR. There are some great nurses in my OR; about half I would say. The other half are rude, arrogant, and just plain mean. As if it wasn't stressful enough trying to learn a new specialty, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells every day in dealing with these people. I've considered quitting the hospital and going into home health, but in this economy, I don't want to end up unemployed. It's really unfortunate that the old adage, "nurses eat their young", is true in my OR. At this point I guess I stay and just pray it gets better.

Aniroc · Nov 3, 2009

It is sad that such comments as "nurses eat their young" are still prevalent in our nursing culture. I am about to start a new job as a new grad, and I specifically asked my interviewer about the attitudes of nurses working with new grads. While he said that the team was quite cohesive, I know there will always be those few nurses (or other staff) who will appear difficult.

I too plan on being extra nice those first few days (but that is more of my coping mechanism to get over the nervousness of meeting new people), but I also plan on being assertive. And thats what I think any nurse who feels like they are surrounded by wolves or being eaten needs to do. Being assertive doesn't mean that you are mean or a know-it-all. What it does means is that you know your limits thus praciticing within your competency level, you are willing to look for advice and consultation from more experienced nurses, and your are doing so for the benefit of your patients and your working environment.

If a nurses dishes out something to you that is rude, give it back to him/her with a different connotation. Say "Hey thanks for pointing that out, I didn't think of doing xyz that way, my rationale was abc. I really appreciate the time you took to tell me how you saw things. I'm sure as you know as a new(ish) nurse there is a heavy transition period, so your experience and knowledge is quite valuable, thank you. I'll take that into consideration next time." This may sound thick, but being assertive and addressing the information they offer you is very important. You don't need to speak to them in the way that they spoke to you. If a particular nurse is causing you undue stress, take them aside and tell them that your concerned about your working relationship with them and could you two talk about ways to improve it. Perhaps the other nurses don't realize how they come across, or it could be that extraneous circumstances causes them to react in certain ways.

But more importantly, as you gain knowledge and experience remember where you were as a new nurse and be open and empathetic to new nurses that come to your floor. I don't think nurses start out eating their young. They learn it and embody it from watching other nurses. So just as you want them to keep their attitudes in check, keep yours in check too!

tewdles, RN · Nov 3, 2009

google or bing lateral violence + nursing. Try searching it on youtube, you will find some interesting videos.

This is not new, most of us have survived it, some of us have participated...anyone want to raise their hand?

It is often particularly bad in environments where the staff feel unempowered by the management and/or in very controlled environments (like surgery) where experience and expertise are held in higher esteem by management than interpersonal relationships with peers.

GotTraumaRN · Nov 12, 2009

Volunteer to take on difficult cases, be professional at all times, instead of just hanging out when you don't have an assignment, go into a room and help the other nurses (even the ones you don't like) and don't complain. In a short period of time, the experienced nurses will respect your skills, and your attitude, then they'll respect you. I know it's hard but I've been an OR RN for 12 years and this formula works...it really does. Hang in there!

$fracturenurse$ · Nov 12, 2009

I don't know, I really think us O.R. nurses are a different breed of nurses. We put up with a lot more than other people would. The attitudes in the O.R. can be really bad. I almost think a lot of nurses feel threatened by new nurses. They have been doing the same room for years and here comes this new nurse who is smart and catches on easily. I truly think they are afraid of someone taking their place. We all have worked with the O.R. nurses who won't tell you everything. They keep a lot of information in their head and they want it that way so they will feel needed. I've been in the OR for a long time (12 years), and I see it everywhere I've been. We are not all like that, but the OR really has some of the meanest nurses I have ever seen. I wish I knew what advice to give you. Just make sure and stand up for yourself. Speak out about what is right and don't worry about making friends with everyone. I wish you lots of luck in the O.R.

UpliftingRN, BSN, RN · Nov 14, 2009

thanks everyone..... your comments really helped!! i will take on my new assertive persona asap :w00t: