New neighbor slipped through the cracks. What do I do?

[fiveofpeep]

I am so upset. A neighbor moved in and one of his friends was telling me that he is wheelchair bound and just got out of a SNF and has no family resources in the community or health care professionals following up.

I went over and introduced myself to him and he was very withdrawn. Apparently, he won't let his friend help him. I don't even know how he will get out of the couch to his WC, but I don't know how much function he really has as the friend of his is a lay person.

He has no one from the county or home health coming to follow up on him. How did this guy slip through the cracks? How can I help him?

I plan on establishing a rapport with him and I already told him to come and ask for help anytime. I plan to check on him every couple days to make sure he is alive and has everything he needs but I am so worried he is going to suffer a complication because of lack of help.

I understand that I don't know his level of function. All I know is what the friend told me. I also understand I don't even know if he wants help.

How can I help him? Shouldn't he qualify for some sort of follow up care? Can I contact the public health department? What can I do?

As an acute care nurse, I've never seen what happens when discharge planning fails. It is shocking to me and breaks my heart.

[amoLucia]

GrnTea so clearly said it. BE CAREFUL! (especially when they know that you're a nurse!) Other respondents are also stating very real and valid reasons for you to keep your professional distance. I'd like to be a "fly on the wall' to see how well he really manages' behind his closed doors'. Some folk just don't want interventions - for financial reasons,paranoia, biases, poor past experiences, guilt tripping, etc. Just keep an eye out for trash/mail/newspapers building up. DYFS/APS may need to be the one to step in, not you, with all your truly caring, good intentions. You do have a good heart.

[rn/writer, RN]

Much good advice here.

Another consideration is a principle that lifeguards use. They hold out a flotation device to a drowning person so that they--the rescuer--don't get pulled under.

If your neighbor is ever in a receptive frame of mind, please, be careful to offer only what you can realistically maintain and connect him with referrals for the rest. If the seriousness of his situation finally breaks through to his conscious mind and he reaches out, you don't want his desperation to overwhelm both of you. It wouldn't be healthy for either of you for him to become dependent on you for more and more and more. You can be a connecting point or a portal through which he has access to more, but "drowning" people can, in their panic, pull the well-meaning but unguarded beneath the waves with them.

Please, keep this in mind. Be a friend. Be (to a limited extent) an advocate. Be a source of ideas and information, when and if they're wanted. But draw the line at being a hero.

Your concern shows that you have a good heart. Balance this with using your head and be a friend (but not a savior) in whatever way this neighbor will let you.