New grad male nurse in the NICU..

[NicuMurse]

Hello all,

I reached my dreams of becoming a NICU nurse. I had practicum on the same unit last fall, graduated in december, and was hired onto the unit recently. I am currently on orientation.

I love what I do, I am very passionate about my job, respect my colleagues, and give thanks every day for the opportunity to save innocent lives.

I am a young male, and lets face it, in this specialty, its extremely female dominated. Today, I got really upset, and I am usually never emotional. Two colleagues of mine complained about me and my preceptor to a hire up behind closed doors. I am not going to accept the common phrase "welcome to the NICU, this is how it is" this is unacceptable. The reason for the complaint was so unjustifiable. I honestly feel like someone, or some individuals, don't like me because I am a guy and am stepping on their feet.

I know this sounds silly, but where I work, there is quite a bit gossip and other such things. But you know what, I come to work for my patients and their families, to provide the best possible nursing care I can. I don't come to work to get caught up in the social experiences. I am not going to allow what happens on a daily basis happen to me. I am not afraid to stand up for myself in a respectful manor.

And my preceptor was very upset. She did not find that acceptable at all. She stood up for me, and herself, as she should have, because we didn't do anything but choose an assignment last minute / set up a sterile field She would NEVER allow me to do anything that she feel would uncomfortable with.

I guess I just need some other NICU nurses to vent to. It's very hard to vent to anyone where I work, because I just don't feel comfortable, confident, or trustful talking to anybody but my preceptors and a slim few other nurses.

[RyanCarolinaBoy, ADN, BSN, MSN]

Welcome to the female dominated field of nursing brother. All kidding aside, as a man, I have had to learn how to tune out a lot of the chatter. You Would Do well to simply take it in stride. Work with your preceptor, listen to what your nurse manager has to say, and ignore the isle gossip and passive aggresiveness that seems to go hand in hand with nursing. I see this type of petty behavior frequently, and it irritates me. Ain't got no time for that crap. I say choose your battles, and ignore em.

[NicuGal, MSN, RN]

Good advice above, and dont be afraid to stick up for yourself or the she-Devils will eat you alive!

[NICU Guy, BSN, RN]

Except for L&D, we are in the most female dominated specialty of nursing. I represent the 1% minority in my unit (3 males out of 300 NICU nurses). My advice is learn to become "one of the girls" without embracing the drama.

I am going to try to be as diplomatic as possible without sounding chauvinistic. Unlike men, who can have a nasty, testosterone filled argument towards each other, shake hands, and have a beer after work. Women can be petty towards each other, back stab, and hold grudges for a very long time. Keep your head down and learn your job.

Don't let the drama get to you and stay away from the gossip. I am fortunate to be in such a large unit that I am treated like a brother without having to worry about the girl-girl drama.

[labordude, BSN, RN]

I'm almost completely with Guy In Babyland and I have been through many things that you are talking about, particularly when I was a new grad. I have worked NICU and now I work L&D, so I have some experience in working with these situations. Do not become 'one of the girls' no matter how hard they try. Ignore the gossip and definitely don't get involved in it. My biggest piece of advice, make sure you have guy friends outside of work and you have a physical outlet for the stress that comes with working in the NICU.

If you still need some venting, feel free to PM me and I'm happy to listen, murse to murse. I can guarantee it'll be more productive than an open forum like this.

[NicuGal, MSN, RN]

As my hubby says: Men will punch each other, say some swear words and then be like hey man, wanna watch the game, women plot revenge like it is their job.

[IgotDimples]

I enjoyed this thread, thanks :-) but good luck fellow murse !!! Stay strong !!!

[tinkerbell419]

A male nurse mentor that I had as a student gave me some advice that I thought was a bit odd at the time but now makes perfect sense. He told me to act all light and fluffy which may work with some people but not with others.

I guess he wanted me to skip around the place throwing fairy dust everywhere

[LRN_RN]

I love all of our male NICU nurses. I'm very introvert. I almost save myself up for the 12 hr shifts so I can give my self to my patients and their families. I don't have time or the desire to get caught up in the woman gossip, chatter, drama. I come to work! I feel though that our male peers do this with ease. They break up what can be a cliquey environment and bring new fresh in site into our unit. Welcome and keep on working hard. Once they get to know you, I'll bet things will change!