New grad on L&D--too much for me

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Specializes in well newborn nursery.

Greetings...

I graduated in September 2013 and got a job in an L&D unit in January 2014. I was so happy just to get a job as the market is horrible here in the Seattle area. I have to sign a contract to stay in L&D for 2 years. I also received 2 months of classes. Fast forward to now and I am experiencing terrible anxiety at work. I knew L&D would be challenging and I was up for it since the jobs are so scarce around here and I thought it would be interesting and wanted to take the challenge head on and grow, but I think I am realizing this specialty and my personality type do not jibe at all. I'm not an adrenaline junkie and I get anxious when things become emergent and fast paced in a blink of an eye, like they can and do in L&D. I'm noticing a lot of my coworkers have strong, confident personalities that like the pressure. I am also terrified of having an unattended delivery, which I know will happen to me sooner or later. I saw a doctor and started taking BuSpar for the anxiety 2 weeks ago, which I'm hoping will help. My real love is psychiatric nursing but I couldn't find a job in that specialty and I needed to start earning money so I took this job. I really can't bear the thought of staying here 2 years. I was thinking of giving it a solid year to account for the expected anxiety of being a new nurse in a tough specialty but if I still am not finding it any better, I may just pay off the rest of the contract and find another job (would have to pay back $4000). I just think life is too short to experience such intense anxiety all the time and I want to pursue psych ultimately anyway. If I could pay off the $4000 and get out of my contract, would this negatively affect my ability to get another RN job? I

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Talk to your manager. maybe they will work with you to transfer to mother/baby or another unit.

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L&D nursing is as intense a specialty as there gets. Being a new nurse is definitely a disadvantage for you. You probably have a long way to go to develop basic independent nursing skills that give you that confidence you see in the more experienced nurses. Not to mention you have 2 patients in one and who wants to be part of a possible bad situation involving a baby!? Having said all of this, you are right, not everyone has the personality or passion for every type of nursing. Were I to be a future employer, I would be able to take an explanation of why you chose to leave the position with an open mind. As long as you were able to show an ability to stick with a position. Who knows if psych is your fit either? Good luck with your nursing journey. You'll find your niche!

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Specializes in well newborn nursery.

Crunch RN: I am unable to transfer to another department. My contract states I have to work in L&D for 2 years specifically.

Babyrn85: I agree with you on the intensity. I have always been interested in psych and years ago started college to become a psychotherapist but stupidly quit college to get married, so my love of psych is not a new thing. I am absolutely dreading being on my own, which will be in a few weeks when my preceptorship ends. I am still bad at lady partsl exams so the thought of taking on a patient myself makes me physically nauseous with anxiety. Not sure what I can do here.

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Specializes in L and D.

First of all, please realize that what you are going through is pretty much the norm for anyone new to LD nursing- even nurses with years of experience in other fields. Vag exams are tough and just take time and practice, and I would expect your coworkers to understand that and be patient with you. The more you do, the more comfortable you will get. That being said, if working this job is detrimental to your health, then you need to make a change. I would start with talking face to face with your nurse manager. Gather up your courage and be honest and forthright with him/her. Let her know that you understand you signed a contract and do not take that lightly, but that LD is not where your heart is at and is more than just a little overwhelming for you. You never know what can be worked out if you just talk to someone who can make a difference. If she tells you tough luck, well you're really no worse off.

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Specializes in L&D.

I agree that it's the norm I started L&D as a new RN and I knew L&D was where I wanted to work and really love it. But it can be very scary and anxious at times. I had moments for a month or so where I was terrified all the time about what would come in and if I would have to scrub a c-section or not. I got over it and still love it and am much more confident in myself.

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Break your contract and move on. Your sanity and health is something you cannot but a price on. I started out as a RN in Cardiac ICU and lets just say that I could have written your post. It was an intense environment and I could not deal with the concept of patients coding at any moment, responding to codes, stat orders, and the daily emergencies. I was anxious, depressed, and nervous all the time which led to me taking Ativan. I broke my 2 year contract after a year and resigned. Well since then, I have not received a bill to repay the 3500 dollars at this time and I quit that job 2 years ago.

I've also worked in Postpartum for the last year and have found my home. There is still stress but totally a different kind of stress. I'm no longer anxious or depressed. This specialty fits my personality in every way. I honestly could not be happier.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Postpartum.

I am just like you OP, that is why I'm on Mother/Baby and pretty much know I will retire in that specialty. I started out on a critical care (ICU step down) floor and was on the verge of quitting nursing because the anxiety was too much. Codes/RRT were common on my unit and would pray before I go in that no codes were called on my shift. Of course I still had patients who needed RRT and was able to function well but the anxiety was evident on my face. I did stay for a year and was able to transfer to my M/B unit. It's a busy unit at times but its the type of busy I want. I no longer go into work with regret.

You've got to weigh your options. You can try to do an orientation day on M/B and speak to your preceptor or manager about how you feel. You can even try to stick it out longer to see if you've gain more confidence. If you quit, you may risk being places on the "don't rehire" list.

Best of luck.

Sent from iPink's phone via allnurses.com app

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Specializes in well newborn nursery.

Update: I was able to speak to my manager and she was wonderful and allowed me to be transferred to the mother/baby unit! I am so glad I took the risk and talked to her. I feel much better. It's nice to hear from people like yourselves who validate my experience. My manager even validated my experience, saying I was doing very well but she understood my feelings because L&D is a tough specialty and not for everyone.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

See, you should always take my advice :up:

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Specializes in Vents, Telemetry, Home Care, Home infusion.

Feeling of being overwhelmed is common amongst new grads per our First Year After Nursing Licensure forum. Glad you discussed your concerns, had an experienced understanding Manager who realizes transfering to another unit is in best interest of facility instead of your anxiety causing you to leave hospital altogether. Support one receives in first 6 months is crucial in transitioning from student to new grad to 1, 5 + 10 years...

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