New grad in an ICU residency program considering quitting

[Maria D]

Hey all. I am part of a 6 month residency program at a level 1 trauma center. I am approaching month 5th and was told my orientation was going to be extended which was extremely discouraging. I have also been struggling with my second preceptor. I feel that she has been picking on me and makes frustrating comments about my performance in front of me, other nurses and doctors. She talks to me in a condescending manner and in front of patients. The feedback she gives me every time is very discouraging and makes me feel as if I was stupid and not fit for the environment. I have been trying extremely hard to be better and even read articles and books when I get home to educate myself. I truly want to be able to make it but I have been extremely stressed and I cry every day after work and have developed anxiety from this. Has anyone one had a similar experience or have any thoughts/advice on how to move forward?

[Ms.White, BSN]

On 2/6/2020 at 10:08 AM, Fern Tirado said:

Dear Maria,

I am so sorry that you are going through this. This is an unfair and outdated practice in Nursing. That BS about the "old eat the young" is a thing of the past. It is our responsibility as nurses to promote a healthy work environment, and bullying fellow new nurses is unacceptable. Your preceptor should be ashamed of herself and her behavior reflects poorly upon all of us in this profession.

I can see that many of us have experienced this toxic work environment. In my 10+ years as a nurse, I have learned (the hard way) that working in a floor where your are unsupported (emotionally and educationally) is just simply not worth it... The stress caused by this situations is unhealthy and completely unnecessary... If you have reached the point where you cannot sleep the night before your next shift or you find yourself fantasizing about driving off pass your hospital the morning of your shift... mama, It is time to go...

And let me make one thing clear: leaving does not mean that you are incapable or lack the skills to be an a fantastic ICU nurse. It simply means that you are not in the right environment... And in nursing, having a good team is key.

The worst thing that can possibly happen (other than accidentally killing a patient) is that you get fired, and that is just going to make it harder to land on your feet after you leave... Nursing is one of those environments where *** happens and you need to be/feel supported by your fellow colleagues. You need to feel comfortable to ask stupid questions and seek others opinions without hesitating... If something (minor) went wrong, will your boss have your back? Will he/she see it as an opportunity for you to learn? Or will it be an excuse to fire you/chastise you? If your reality is the latter one... You gotta go..

What do you have to lose? Nothing. To the contrary, you have all everything to gain. There are so many options: step downs, PCU, rehab, ER, NICU, PACU, Med/surg, L&D, Dialysis, home care, etc....

You should feel good about going to work everyday. Your mind should be focused on your patients and not on any other BS.

Best of luck to you,

Fern

I cant tell you how much I love this comment<3 Sincerely, a new grad. Thankyou for the uplifting words.

[BalanceK]

I did have a similar experience when first worked as a graduating nurse. My preceptor expected me to know things without teaching me. When I did not do things in a way that she did not prefer, even though suggested via EBP, she would still claim her way to a better way. Nursing should be supportive. I was glad that I had a support nursing administration that showed support to new nurses. I talked to management, and she switched me to other preceptor, who was kind, patient, and understanding. Nurses can voice their concerns; if we don't tell, no one knows unfortunately.