New Grad dilema

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Specializes in Telemetry.

I am in the exact same situation right now, except I work days and nights and most weeks are 4 12's because they are short staffed. When I work consecutive days, I don't see my fiance at all, not to mention that 6 hours is not enough sleep after a couple nights! I'm trying to reach one year at my current workplace, which will be in September. I'm going to start trying to get in at the closer hospital so I don't have to worry about winter driving...there's no way I'll make through a winter with this drive and it makes me a nervous wreck, too. From what I hear, the closer hospital pays a dollar less an hour, but it's totally worth it in my opinion. They have better facilities and I'll be saving a lot in gas money and I'll get more sleep and personal time. Just wanted to let you know what someone else is doing in very similar shoes!

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Specializes in Newborn Critical Care.

Have you thought about maybe trying to shadow at the smaller hospital closer to your home? It would be a shame if you left your current job and then realized after the fact that what you really want is a big ER experience. At least then you'll be able to weigh all your options before you make the big decision...

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Specializes in Emergency, Cath Lab.

The reason your friends can only dream of getting the experience you are getting right now, is because these opportunities are few and far between for RN's without 1-2 years experience. You stuck it out through however many years it took you to finish nursing school, you can handle 6 more months cant you? I know its tough, Im a new grad and the ER I work in in not NG friendly, but Im going to survive my 12 months, than move on.

IF you absolutely CANNOT endure finishing out one year, at least make sure you have a secure offer from this other hospital BEFORE giving notice at your current job. The last thing you want to do is assume you will get hired and find yourself trying to plan a wedding with one less income.

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Specializes in ER, L&D, RR, Rural nursing.

You do have a contract at the first place right now, correct? Finish out your term, then re evaluate, maybe 12's aren't for you, how about switching to 8's? Is that even an option?

Balancing family and work is always a challenge, what about casual/call-in? You probably need to really evaluate what will work for your ideals, expectations and home life. It is only a few days and your fiance is an adult after all....maybe have a later dinner where he helps!!Good Luck

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Listen, there is NOTHING more than I personally enjoy than going to bed and waking up next to my wife and seeing our beautiful children run around then house or crawling into bed with us spending either the evening or the morning just enjoying "us" as a family, so NO you are NOT the only couple out there that desires that and enjoys that. Before I left for the military, my wife and I were more connected to one another than anyone or anything. We had the exact same working schedule, we spent a lot of time together, she was and still is my best friend and my entire world. I had no idea what love was really about or like until she came back into my life after 14 years apart. When I went away, both of our hearts were broken and we were lost without each other, but the military was what I needed to do to become everything I want to be in life and to be able to support my family. My wife is the strongest woman I have ever met for supporting me while I am gone and raising our children. There have been MANY exciting times for us as well, we recently had our last child, a handsome boy, we've recently purchased a brand new home, we own rental properties, and "WE" continue to fall more and more in love. Just because I'm away doesn't mean it will go away or end or that it won't be there forever because that is what LOVE is. Neither of us like it at all, but not a single couple out there has that "perfect" life where you have the perfect job that fits perfect with your husbands and childrens schedules, everything has it's sacrafices. This is an exciting time for you and your fiance', and there will be so many more exciting times because they only grow more and more AFTER you become one in a marriage, heck I can't even remember my life before my wife! So, as an engaged couple and soon to be newlywed I can understand the stage you two are in, but this is life and that is why you are more than likely getting the "get over it's" or "he'll get over it". You chose this profession for a reason and it is a very demanding, never ending job. I understand working 3 or 4 - 12 hour days on a complete opposite schedule from him can be a huge bummer, but you and him both have FOREVER together. That is what gets my wife and I through our times when we spend 3 months or a little more apart, we still have FOREVER. I do sympathize with you, so please do not take it as a big "suck it up", but in the same sense, you HAVE to either suck it up or walk away. My wife loves Maya Angelou and she often lives her life by a quote of hers: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" So what I personally am saying is just that. If you are that miserable being away from him for those days and not seeing him, then change it. Let someone else out there have the opportunity you have been given that will fit their life style better. You just can't have everything and unfortunately you are at a time when everything is falling in your lap at once. Dream job, dream man, wedding, and starting your on little family.

All I am saying is, I do get what you are struggling with because I myself have felt like giving up and finding my way back home or second guessing if this is where I should be, but my wife builds me back up and helps me see that even though and the hardest times of me missing her and our kids, they aren't going anywhere and one day, I will have it all, it just takes time.

So I guess I will just offer you some encouraging words and a little advice: if your love is so strong, it will be there forever and 3 days out of a week isn't as bad as it seems. Instead of giving in to that "honeymoon" stage you are in of wanting to be with your fiance as much as you can, keep in mind, he is your future husband, so forever is still ahead of you. You most def. do not want to look up one day and everything you worked so hard for be gone because you may resent this love you are consuming yourself with. But if you are truely unhappy, let the contract go and move on. Give that job to someone who WANTS to be there, don't rob them of an opportunity. Find YOUR place in life that makes you happy and give someone else theirs.

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Well, I'm glad what I had to say spoke to you. I think you have known all along what you were wanting and needing to do in your heart.

I wasn't trying to be insulting when I said the comment about "resenting that love" because you are right, you can't really ever resent "true love" and you can't make anyone else in this world happy unless you make yourself happy first. I've learned a lot of these things through the love my wife and I share and through our children and our love for them.

And now abide faith, hope and love; these three, but the greatest of these is love. [Corinthians 13:13]

Yes, I know the quote, I know it well. My wife is a very inspirational person and she sends me these type of quotes all the time.

Good Luck.

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sorry had to change my username due to the "doc" part on Militarydoc just letting everyone Ive responded to on here know.

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I agree. I feel so blessed to have my husband, and still sometimes can't believe how lucky I am that I found him. That is why I think that only a true, true love can really withstand things like this. I understand where you are coming from regarding the schedule. I am understand why you felt offended about the comment about it "only" being three days. I have 7 days where I only see my husband for 3 hours a day, and it would bug me if someone said that at least I do get to see him a little bit every day. However, I think because our relationship is so strong, we are able to get through it. We have two weeks off together in a couple of weeks, and we are so excited that we keep talking about it. It's so sad that we don't even get one day off together, and I don't know how we do it, but we cherish every little bit of time we have together. I stay up a bit later on the nights that he is off, and he gets up a bit earlier on the weekends before he goes to work. I hope it's not always going to be like this. We were on the exact same schedule for three years, and worked together as well, and I miss those times so much. We still talk about it. Sometimes we wonder if we made the right choice, but I have wanted to be a nurse for so long, and he eventually wants to leave 911, so I do think we have to make sacrifices in the meantime.

Life does happen, and that's what my husband tells me all of the time. Believe me, I have my meltdowns. Just last night I woke at 4 am (30 minutes after he got home) and I started complaining about the schedule and not being able to sleep with him, so I am not strong all the time. However, he said at least we love each other, and that's what's important. Life happens, and everything is not going to be great. You never know what's going to happen in the future. This may be our "great" time. We are both healthy, and we are able to pursue our dreams.

You are lucky that you have a choice, and are able to make a move right now. Just know that there may be another time when an opportunity may come your way, and it may not fit with your home life exactly the way you want it to. It sounds like you do care about your career, so sometimes compromises have to be made. If you both are truly in love, you will be able to get through that and much more. It's tough, I know. My father is a police officer, and he and my mom went through the opposite schedule thing for a years when they were first married. They are still married 37 years later, and have a great time together. My dad went up in the department after making sacrifices, and my mom was able to retire early. He has a great schedule, and they get to do a lot together. I remember my dad working swing shift when I was a kid, and we were able to spend a lot of quality time with him during the summer because he was off during the day. We have good memories. Anyway, I am now taking a trip down memory lane.

fmfdevildperry, I know exactly what you mean about finding your soulmate. It brings me a peacefulness that I never experienced before.

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