New element: Administratium

[Brian, ASN, RN]

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered.

The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons

and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have 1 neutron,

125

assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant neutrons, giving

it

an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in the

nucleus

by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles

called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be

detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in

contact. According to the discoverers, a tiny amount of Administratium

caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally

occur in less than 1 second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years. At this

time

it doesn't actually decay but instead undergoes reorganization in which

assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange

places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases

after each reorganization.

researchers in other laboratories indicated that Administratium occurs

naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points

such

as universities, government agencies, large corporations, and school

systems [and hospitals! ]. The element is usually found only in the

newest, best-appointed and

best-maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level

of concentration and can destroy any productive reactions where it is

allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how

Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but

results

are not promising.

[hoolahan, ASN, RN]

LMAO!! :D

[bassbird]

I sent this to my Grampa and he was wondering who wrote this. He loved it and was hoping there was more by the same author.

Thanks

[lpn4u2000]

This is just too funny. Think I will copy it and put it up at work when noone is looking...................................................

[oramar]

Now this is my kind of joke.