new and awkward :(

smily nurse, BSN, RN · Mar 29, 2011

Hang in there, don't be worried. It will come. Often if you imagine the pt is your mom, child, friend it helps. Your confidence will come with time and experience. On my first job the nurse orienting me said "it will take awhile to get this S on your chest" whoa!!!!! Find support and hang in there. You are needed and have gifts to offer. :heartbeat

Altra, BSN, RN · Mar 29, 2011

This comes with time - you'll find what works for you. Take advantage of opportunities to listen to other nurses, and all other providers, interacting with their patients - it's OK to "borrow" phrasing that seems effective and try it on for size.

nurse2033, MSN, RN · Mar 29, 2011

Develop a routine of introducing yourself and having a short conversation with the patient before you start doing your nursing thing. (Don't forget that they are there for health care, not to chat with you, but I find it helps take down some barriers). Good luck.

Sarah G · Mar 29, 2011

It'll come eventually. Depending on the pt population such as elderly, children, new moms etc; just talk to them like you would if they were your grandparent, niece or nephew, friend etc (not in an inappropriate way though!). I started off in elderly population & am a quiet person but began to think of my pts as grandparents; not my grandparents but someone else's. After getting to know pt's family members could kinda see how their families work, it's been a pretty neat learning experience. Eventually, you will find what works for you.

tiroka03, LPN · Mar 29, 2011

I can so relate with you. When I was new, I was the most frightened awkward nurse on the planet. I still have my days after 18 years. What helped at first for me was to use my vast imagination. Some days I would pretend to be miss supernurse, and I would pretend I have been doing this for years. Of course that doesn't always work. I also pretended, (don't laugh too hard) that I was star trek and one of those nurses. The unit was my spaceship. I have prenteded to be many things in the beginning.

But, every facility in a 5 mile radus of my clinicials and first job have perment nicks and dings in walls and door where I have run the scale into it. I was concentrating so hard, I missed where I was pushing the scale. It makes a really loud noise btw when you hit a wall. I could hear people snickering all the way down the hallway.

When I get a new job, (I have moved a few times), I will get a good case of the hives on the first day during orientation. Everything needs to be scratched - badly. It has been a real form of torture and embaressement for me. It starts with my head, I just want to scratch it unitl it bleeds, then my feet start itching, and my back, ect. You there you are trying to act like little miss smart nurse and all you can do is sidle up the every door post you past hoping no one notices.

Things will take on normalcy quicker than you imagine. Just hold your head up, and it will be before you get your first paycheck that you will feel right at home. Good luck.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Mar 29, 2011

hello, nurses! i recently passed my nclex and am on the job hunt. i somehow survived the rigorous task that is nursing school and i, along with my instructors, noticed how awkward i am around patients! i seem to not have the nursing touch. it came so easily to some of my other classmates (some already were working in the hospital). i am usually an outgoing, helpful and eager learner. however i can't seem to crack the patient-nurse interaction quite right. i seem to pause awkwardly, seem to not have quite enough confidence, and just... not be quite the bedside nurse. i would love to be successful on the floor but feel so low because i don't know exactly what to do to overcome it. there's no perry and potter on that. =(
is this common? if anyone had these sentiments, how long until you felt like a nursey nurse? thank you for any and all help.

good god, i hope i'll never feel like a "nursey nurse".

i'm not particularly outgoing -- except, perhaps, in writing -- and was very awkward with nurse-patient, nurse-family, nurse-doctor, nurse-nurse and nurse-everyone interactions. it took me a long time to get it. and when i did get it, it came slowly. first i'd find myself more comfortable with the friendly, outgoing individuals. i'd have a good day with interactions and then i'd have a bad day. or two or three. after the first year, i had mostly good interactions but then my then-husband graduated from school and found a job in another state and i had to start all over.

i've been a nurse for a long time. it's been a good lifestyle, steady employment and a solid paycheck. plus i get the satisfaction of making a difference . . . so it was worth the misery i had when i first started. i hope you find your balance sooner than i did, but if you don't, it's still worth it in the long run.

Sugarcoma, RN · Mar 30, 2011

i also had this issue. i am very shy, awkward and clumsy and have the amazing ability of blurting out ridiculous things when i am nervous. it took a while, about a year, but i am now very comfortable with interacting with pt.'s, families, docs, etc. it will come for you as well, some have it naturally and for others it takes some time to develop.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Mar 30, 2011

I totally understand where you are coming from. Let me tell you what I did.

1. As a new nurse, you are unsure of yourself and second guess everything that you say or do. If you have a specific question about something, ask another nurse prior to your contact with the pt. Have your ducks in a row before you enter the room. Be as organized as you can possibly be.

2. Ever heard of the saying, "dress the part"? Here is where a little bit of acting must take place. You must remember that you are already blessed by the BON as being safe to care for pts. With this knowledge, you must go into your pts room with every bit of confidence you can gather, even if you don't feel it. ACT IT. Look them in the eye, tell them who you are and how long you will be with them (for the shift). Ask them if they have any questions, and at the end of your initial interview/meeting, remind them of where their call button is and repeat your name. Patients want the comfort of knowing that you are their safety net, and an air of confidence is the way you relay that to them. YOU know that if you get in over your head that you can call upon the resources available to you, but the patient doesn't necessarily need to know that. They are viewing YOU as their "lifeline", so you must absolutely project confidence. Call on your resources when appropriate.

If you find that you are having trouble with breaking the ice, have a close friend do a role-play with you. Bring home a blank admission sheet that you would use for a patient. Have your friend answer the questions. The rationale for this is two-fold: you will be laughing your butt off, because your friend will throw you some curve balls just to be funny. This will immediately relax you. Then when you both get serious, you will already be loose enough to get on with how to break the ice. Then you can get some feedback from your friend.

If you still find that you are not connecting, then try to find out the root of WHY you feel that you are not connecting with your pts. Are you shy? If so, then do a little experiment. You and your friends go out somewhere (so that you have the safety net of friends around you) and you strike up a conversation with a total stranger. My friends and I went to a coffee shop, and I spotted someone working on their computer. I went over to him and apologized for interrupting him, and explained that I was looking into buying a new computer, and was curious as to his satisfaction with the one he was using. I was AMAZED at how easily the conversation flowed. This tactic will introduce you to the skill of breaking ice. I had to do this, because I am completely shy. What I learned from this experience made me more confident when taking on new pts as a new nurse.

Remember: be confident even if you don't feel it. Once you dress the part, you will fill the role.

Much luck to you, friend.

noviceR · Mar 30, 2011

thank you all for your helpful words!! It was very refreshing to hear and gave me enough hope to plow through a few more applications. Thank you, wonderful community. *big hugs*