Negative Nancy

It's really nice that you can step back and recognize this. I know with myself when I become negative and hateful about things I can totally become self destructive and these can lead me to relapse. Venting always helps me, as long as it's short lived. Good luck in the next 3 years!

I think there is something emotionally freeing about allowing yourself to experience negative emotions from time to time. The constant call to "adjust your attitude!" flirts dangerously close to essentially stuffing your emotions.

I'm doing research on mindfulness practices for instances like that. Do any of you know about it/use it?

Are you familiar with DBT at all? Radical acceptance is a term that might get you somewhere.

My husband tried to get me into the Buddhist-AA stuff (One Breath at a Time is probably the most well-known work) but I could never do Buddhist-style meditation. Made me too sleepy.

I'm doing research on mindfulness practices for instances like that. Do any of you know about it/use it?

My PDoc started teaching me belly breathing and mindfulness. I found some YouTube videos to coach me at home. It's time consuming to do.

However, I find myself using those calming belly breaths when I'm feeling stressed.

Also, for work, in order to stay positive, I literally told myself everyday: "I love my job" I could have focused on the hard parts, but instead I thought about the fact that I really liked and appreciated the vast majority of my coworkers, I liked my work, I liked the patients. Oh...and I liked my paychecks.

Lately, stress management has been more difficult and so I take the time to treat myself by exercising! It also helps relieve stress!

What works for you?

I don't know if I'd describe DBT as abstract, lol. One common complaint is that it can be too rigid and worksheet/workbook based. I mean. It was originally designed to help folks with borderline personality disorder, so.

I have a lot of "tools in my tool chest" because I've had a lot of formal therapy over the last 17 years. (My first psych hospitalization was at 13.) There is a certain sort of mindfulness that I picked up from DBT that involves sitting still with your emotions which I found myself doing over the weekend when I became overwhelmed. I've also been struggling with a lot of cognitive distortions - mostly self-esteem based - in my thinking lately and so have been mentally picking things apart.

I am also mindful to not pathologize all of my thoughts/behaviors/emotions and to understand that even pathological behaviors do not always need treatment-esque responses. The textbook action is not always the best action for me.

Wow, I've got to look into some of this stuff--radical acceptance sounds like something I could get into.

Anyway, I always just go to my gratitude list when things are getting rough--I guess periodically I just have to remind myself of all the wonderful things I have now that I'm clean. Things like, finally understanding the Serenity Prayer and learning how to put it into practice; a stronger, closer relationship with my family; the ability to let things go, not feeling like the weight of the world has to rest on my shoulders; greater self-acceptance, being OK with not being perfect; a nice house; a good job that doesn't stress me out too much; good health; a new puppy, who has brought me all kinds of joy and cheap entertainment; and life itself, which may be hard sometimes but is every day a blessing I should treasure--lots of people don't make it this far, and don't get to experience the woes and wonders of middle age.

Hang in there, Big Blondie--it will get better, there is always light at the end of the tunnel!