Need to vent!

It's hard but I'm here to say that it's definitely doable. You have a job? That is awesome! You get to see your child, awesome! You're clean and sober, awesome!

Now, would you want to give any of this up and go back to using your drug of choice? Do you still want to be a nurse?

You've got to trek through all of this to get yourself better. You can do it, try to think of the positives that are going to come out of all this. Hang in there.

Txnursegal78: Yeppers, it is hard! But, if this is what you truly want, you have no choice other than to comply. Just continue to put one foot in front of the other, & do the next right thing. Try not to look at the whole big picture- just the next thing you have to do. Yes, three years is a long time- & the program is very costly, but the 3 years will fly by- believe it or not! Hang in there- soon it will all become routine. Do not allow yourself to wallow in the "what-ifs"! & don't let anything be bad enough to pick up or use again!

Sometimes its hard to count your blessings. Especially when you see so many negative events around you. This is when its time to dig deep and stay on coorifice, for the ultimate goal of living a healthy sober life. Leave the past behind you, and the future is not here yet! Focus on what you can do today. Count the blessings you have today. Give an act of kindness, (its good Karma). Oh and go ahead and give yourself a really good cry, its good to release those feelings. ...Peace...

I know it sucks. At least it is only 3 years. I started in california in 2006, moved to florida, had to start florida program 5 years.

This is my 10th year of being monitored.

Every year they add more requirements. Have 1.5 years left. Get tested 2 x a month at 53$ , every 3 months a 150$ special test

You can do it its only 3 years out of your life

Gabby

Gabby

FL wouldn't take any of the previous monitoring you had done in CA?

And this is EXACTLY why people are afraid to ask for help when they need it!

God bless you!! Keep your chin up! PM if you need to talk! Hugs!

To SororAKS , no most of the time when you change states you have to start there program.

It depends on the state

Gabby

I remember so many times feeling that the financial burden made recovery so much harder. I still feel that way sometimes.

My monitoring was a five year contract but the actual contact was delayed so i was doing the testing and appointments for several additional years. I spent at least 30 grand. I was unemployed for a year. My credit is still destroyed (had been perfect). I am in a debt management program slowly paying off the credit card debt. I am paying the bare minimum monthly to about a dozen medical providers.

Is it stressful? Yes sometimes absolutely. But i successfully completed monitoring (i choose to go majorly into debt to pay off the program fees to be allowed to finish and i do not regret that although it financially will impact me probably for a couple decades), am employed and can get a new job anywhere, my family life is improved, i am a strong person through recovery-i can be ok even if i am not happy about my financial position-and life goes on.

That's the biggest thing. Life goes on. Many of us have been there and survived. Unfortunately we have a disease that caused us to put our careers and livelihoids and lives at risk and thankfully there are ways for us to get a second chance but unfortunately it comes at great cost financially and other ways. But it is better than the alternative and so we keep at it. I'm so sorry you are feeling hopeless right now- i believe you will get through this with your relationship with your child and your career intact and eventually you will be financially stable if not totally comfortable.