Need Some Advice and Truth

[clarinets, CNA]

I need a little bit of advice on how to work with this career. I joined the career of nursing, currently a CNA right now, to continue in the field to really help people that are in need. I am happy for the kind of work that I am currently performing, because I see that people are getting the help and am glad to be a part of it.

Before I go any further, first I would like to say, that I understand that we all need to take care of ourselves and our own things/sets. So..I generally do so and ask for help now fewer and fewer..Currently I work in a large assisted living care retirement center. I have been there for six months, and this is my first CNA job. Since this is my first CNA job, I am bound to make mistakes and I have, except nothing deadly or damaging. However I am getting some issues with some of the other staff.

1) From the start most of them seem to look at me like a foreigner. I try to smile as best as I can, but it comes to no use. I would talk to them sometimes, to try to built a professional repour but it does not work. I would occasionally ask them for help, but they would say, "yes, what" and would look away, or just ignore. Frankly they also did not seem to want to train me in the running of the place.

2) Sometimes to half of the time I just plain get yelled at, because, I either ask for help, or don't ask for help...It was very confusing to me.. In some cases, again ignored.

3) I would make a mistake, I never knew about, I get yelled at by the immediate supervisor.

This eventually caught up to me not once, not twice, but three or four times in which I either told the head nurse, about being yelled at, and she eventually told the Nursing Supervisor, or I went to the nursing supervisor myself and told her myself. It started coming to the point, where the nursing supervisor is so irritated about this and cannot do anything about it anymore, which I don't blame her, because I would be too. It is also, letting me down and down and has an effect on my job performance. I tried to keep smiling and being positive, but it is slowing down. The Nursing Supervisor did tell the staff that we all work as a team. That sort of half way happened. But anyway...

I did not tell her that part. The reason why I did not tell her that part, because she was already so irritated anyway. Eventually I went up and told my immediate supervisor, to please stop yelling at me, I do not like it. She went to tell the Nursing Supervisor, and I got cut a shift. I also got cut a shift for making mistakes I did not know about, even though I told the Nursing Supervisor.

The advice I am asking is:

1) Is this normal?

2) How can I work with this? I left Education because the parents were rude and in some cases abusive. I have been told in the past, "grow thick skin"! But how does one do that. How do I work towards growing thick skin? During my upbringing I was yelled and even smacked at, for not understanding academics. I never grew thick skin.

I understand if it is an angry resident. I also understand if staff are stressed out, but why take it out on others. I don't.. I am not trying to criticize, but rather am asking for advice on this. I really want to continue helping others and become an R.N. I am in my mid to late 30's and therefore do not really want to do another career change. any help would be necessary.. Thanks.

P.S. It is already bad enough, that I work alone most of the time at this place...

[mvm2]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, but in any work enviroment it can happen for one reason or another that someone can get picked on. It starts during school age, and many times people do not learn to grow up and bring it to our adult work enviroment. I don't know why but it seems that nursing can have a catty work enviroment. All I can say is keep trying. keep learning and maybe someday this will stop for you. Otherwise maybe another place will be a wonderful change for you. There are so many different places you can work as a CNA. Good Luck and I hope things get better for you.

[MessyMomma]

Sounds like a crappy, toxic environment. Not everywhere is like that.

Never stop asking questions or trying to learn. Please don't ever stop smiling, either!

My advice, for what it's worth, is to start putting in applications at other places. When you get an interview look at the people working there--do they look miserable, do they say hi. Get a general feel of the place.

Yes, you're gonna put up with lots of crabby, unpleasant people in healthcare--but it should be patients, not coworkers, lol.

[RNperdiem, RN]

What if you replaced the word "yelling" with criticism.

Maybe it is just that particular environment you are working in, but what if being new to the rules and expectations for performance brought you criticism?

Is this a sensitive area for you?

When people tell you to grow a thick skin, it involves the strength to learn from mistakes, deal with patients who don't care about your needs, and tolerate criticism that is painful but honest.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

Yelling means loudly correcting--criticism means correcting in a normal tone of voice. Yelling is never professional. Criticism that is constructive is.

You are alone in this facility or on this unit? Then you don't have any help to ask for. So you have to figure out how to make this work for you. Assisted living is interesting, because people need help but "not too much help"--there are things that you can do, and things that are discouraged. Some of the residents are so in the independent mindset that they will ask the CNA's do things that you all know should not be done.

When you are corrected, I would ask how it is that what you are being corrected for should be done. What the policy is on it. That way, you will know and not make the same "mistake" (and mistake can be subjective) again. Write it all down to refer to if you need to.

Don't ever stop smiling and being positive. At the end of the day the important people are the residents. And if they are greeted with a smile and a kind word or two, then all the better.