Need help committing a family member

Specialties Psychiatric

Published

I know this might be a sour subject but I would like any help getting proper help for my sister. She needs committed. My parents cannot care for her any longer in there home and I fear for them. Today my sister called the cops on my parents for physical abuse, which is a lie.....The cops know all about my BiPolar sister as they have been called before...one time by me, when my BiPolar sister refused to come willingly after threatening suicide for the 3rd time with me to my ER where I work.

Note: She recently had a med change. (about the 7th time meds have been changed since her diagnosis 4 years ago)

:cry:

Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

Just wondering how you are making out. Where are your parents with all this? I've seen times whe the parents are enabling the patient, out of love of course, and its nearly impossible to make much progress. Wishing you well.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Just wondering how you are making out. Where are your parents with all this? I've seen times whe the parents are enabling the patient, out of love of course, and its nearly impossible to make much progress. Wishing you well.

It's not working out so well. Now I'm in an arguement with my mother/father because I invited them over for the Thansgiving Holiday as I got off working the Holiday. (My mother is having the feast the Saturday before which is kind of the tradition and we all were planning on going to her home) Since I got the Holiday off recently, I invited my parents over for a 2nd dinner here. She declined because I wouldn't include my sister. (My sister and I got in an arguement after the incident of driving while her license was suspended and her accusation that my father attempted to throw boiling water on her, and called the police to boot.....she threatened to tell my mother of a confidence that would drastically hurt my 24 yr old son and my family if divulged to my mother if I ever spoke to her again) She left in her car for two days and no-one knew where she was.

Of course, I was hurt and then became angry and said that we would not be coming over for her celebration.....and went a step further to say we were going to start a new tradition on Christmas Eve here instead of going to my parents. Now we aren't speaking. It's time for my family to start traditions here at our home. I just can't allow yet another incident to be brushed under the carpet as far as my sister is concerned. (15 years ago she accused my husband of grabbing her butt and hitting on her for 6 months) This incident caused 4 years of stress within my family where relations were strained because my parents supported her.....until she apologized and fessed up to her lie. It's a long horrible story but needless to say....I refuse to allow her toxic behavior to be brushed under the carpet again. It's time for me to not be an enabler...to both my sister and my parents. (btw: 1 week after she called the cops on my parents my mother took her shopping for new clothing....grrrr) Let's just reward her for her bad behavior.....My sister is 39 years old....can't hold a job.....lives with my parents.....and has accused numerous men of sexual harrassment....and now this....I just am giving up on her.....I have to soothe myself now.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
It sounds to me like your sister needs you.

My sister needs me to stay away from her.....which is what I am going to do. I refuse to allow my life to be her beating board any longer....take her wacko self and stay away is my new montra....I've had it!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Maternal - Child Health.

It's time for me to not be an enabler...to both my sister and my parents...I have to soothe myself now.

Wow! You just said a mouthful! Bless you for recognizing and refusing to continue behavior that enables your sister to remain on her path of destruction. Your parents aren't there yet, and may never be. But you will liberate yourself and your family to have a wonderful holiday of normalcy without having to stress over, or deal with your sister's and parents behavior.

Holidays are stressful times for families dealing with addiction and mental illness. My family member's behavior (and the enabling of other family members) became unbearable during the holidays as well, and I had to put my foot down and exclude them from our home and holiday plans. My children deserved a normal holiday without worrying about what he would say or do, whether he would be dangerous, intoxicated, or just obnoxious. It was a good decision. I don't know whether or not spending Christmas all alone made an impact on him, but it made for a lovely, peaceful holiday for us.

You can't control others' behavior, only your response to it. Best to you.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Luckily, my sister isn't usually hostile, but one of the most frustrating things about her illness is our folks' refusal to let her grow up. They treat her as if she's still 16, when she got sick, instead of 51.

It affects all of us because they all live in a neurotic maladjustment that includes my brother and me out in many respects, and it hurts. And nothing I can do is adequate. They have reasons and excuses why anything I try or offer to do won't work.

Just hang in there and stay away. You also deserve a decent life, even if you aren't nuts.

(((traumaNurseRN)))

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks for the support....Today I had a good cry and purged the "guilt" feelings I was having for my decision to make new traditions. I have always been the so called strong one......It's not that I'm strong...It's because I'm sane......and cope without including my parents in the ability to make change.

I will have a wonderful Holiday season....Damnit! lol.....I will...looking forward to it actually. I have one child, he is 24 and his GF is a wonderful woman.....My hubby of 25 years (28 yrs total together) and the two of them....plan on wonderful times.....starting new traditions.....Thanks again for the support....love you all........Denise

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I think you have made a crucial step toward healing for yourself and your immediate family. Sending good vibes and hugs your way.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

This happened to one of my family members. It is a very difficult situation to be in. The thing you have to focus on is ensuring her safety and the safety of the rest of your family. It there someone supportive in your family that you can talk to about all this? It is important to think of yourself too.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
This happened to one of my family members. It is a very difficult situation to be in. The thing you have to focus on is ensuring her safety and the safety of the rest of your family. It there someone supportive in your family that you can talk to about all this? It is important to think of yourself too.

Yes, my mother's sister (my aunt) and I have been close and is actually one of my best friends.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment