Need co-worker advice

[Rocky546]

A former pediatric hospice nurse I work with is dating a father of one of her former patients. This father is still very much grieving his daughter, but she doesn't think there's a problem because she no longer works for hospice. I would like advice on how to handle this. Do you feel as if this appropriate? And how should I handle this situation?

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

This is a tough one. She works with you now in something other than pediatric hospice?

I believe it is unprofessional and unethical for a nurse who took care of a dying child to then start dating Dad. It is up to the nurse to set up those professional boundaries. It is wrong for a whole lot of reasons.

Being technical, the only way this nurse had contact with the Dad is through the job that she was doing in a situation that for most is unimaginable heartache and intimacy that requires such a special skill set.

For said nurse to then decide or rectify this as "she no longer works in pediatric hospice" is sickening, and makes my heart hurt. She took advantage of one of the most heart breaking times in the life of a parent, and twisted it to suit herself.

With all that being said, are you sure they are dating? I am not a huge fan of friendships outside of profession when the only thing that connects the friendship is the work you do/did for their child, however, are we sure that Dad is not just going through a grieving process that said nurse is talking with him about? (I know, far fetched and wrong, but never the less....)

I think that said nurse may in fact feel guilty about this, as who says out loud "it is fine, as I no longer work in pedi oncology". Seriously?!?!?! How is it that you justify and sleep at night? Further, if ya'll are discussing it, it calls into question her professionalism. Which is a hard pill to swallow.

Speaking for myself, I could not do pedi hospice as my heart would rip out of my chest each and every day, I could not maintain a professional nursing practice, and I could not provide care without getting emotionally invested. (I would not, however, be dating Dad under any circumstances). The nurses who do this are amazing, and I can not be more in awe of their skill set. This nurse gives the ones who do this day in and day out a bad name. Shame on her.

You can not report on hear-say, you should not engage in the gossip/chit-chat, as said nurse could deny it all, and then you would find yourself in trouble for that.

Lesson learned--know your limitations, always be professional, and someone's dating/personal life needs to stay out of the workplace.

[caliotter3]

Unless you are her immediate supervisor and her behavior reflects upon her duty performance and/or the professional standing of the agency, best to mind your own business. Both are grown adults and capable of making their own decisions regarding their personal lives. In each and every similar circumstance, when discussion arose about the unprofessional behavior of employees at agencies where I have worked, those in positions of responsibility and accountability have been very forthright in their refusal to take any action to stop the behavior.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Why do you feel like you should do something about it? If she goes on and on about her boyfriend at work, and it bothers you that much, take her aside and tell her to stop talking to you about it because the circumstances make you uncomfortable. If you found out in a single, confidential conversation because she has grown fond of you and trusts you, then, just go on about your business like she never said anything.

[kungpoopanda]

None of your business. Butt out.