Need Advice please

TazziRN, RN · May 19, 2006

{{{Erika}}}

Okay, one concern at a time. Does your husband and parents (all four of them) support you? That's a biggie right there. You will not be able to do this at your best if you don't have their support. Nursing school is nerve-wracking and stressful, but with emotional support you can do it.

Daycare: do you have a backup in case your son gets sick and you have class? You canNOT miss nursing classes or you will have to drop out and repeat the semester. Do you have neighbors you can share babysitting duties with? You know, you take turns watching everyone's kids?

There is not a thing wrong with going for your LVN first, lots of RNs went that route. That way they were able to work as nurses while furthering their education. As for your friends, A) how do you know that's what they're thinking? and B) who cares??? Nursing school is one of the hardest things to get through, and anyone who gets through it deserves accolades, both LVN's and RN's.

Good luck in your decision.

ebsf · May 19, 2006

Thank you for your response.

What is a LVN? is it a licensed visiting nurse?

My husband and mom support me. My husband is afaid of how we will afford the payemnts after I graduate and if I will make enough, since the school is alot of money, since its a tech school.

I have to be for class for 5pm. I dont have anyone to watch my son. My husband gets home for like between 5-6pm, so I need to figure it out. ITs so hard when you have no one.

Thanks again,

Erika

meownsmile, BSN, RN · May 19, 2006

OK,, there are a lot of things to consider..

But here are some possible alternitives. Is there a community child care program there in your area where they base your payment on your income? That may allow you to go to school during the day as well as let the kiddos get some experience with their peer groups. There are even some community colleges who have day cares on their campus's and use those day care classes as learning tools for their Teacher Aide and other child care certifications. Check into it. Hard to think of your child as a learning tool,,but hey,, didnt WE all learn on our kids at some point?

Keep working on your pre-reqs for your RN. If you feel right now it is in your best interest to go LPN and maybe finish RN later that is totally doable with kids. Dont wait until you have 2-3 kids and they are grown enough to do it. You wont be sorry. There are evening RN classes out there, call some of the community colleges in the area. With more adult learners (non-traditional) students they are accomodating those who have families by doing evening classes,, and clinicals.

I started with my LPN first. Worked about 8 years when i started working on pre-reqs,that took me almost 3 years to finish. I even had to sit for my ACT with a bunch of high school kids that my son went to school with, when i was 40. TAlk about feelin like you were in a time warp and it was all a bad joke. But i did it. But my RN program was only 10 months plus a 6 week bridge the summer prior to the start of classes in the fall.

My kids on the first go round with school were 2-3 and 8. The second time around they were still in school, but oh heck i cant even remember now. But all three were still in school at some point, grade/jr high or high school.

The empowerment you will get from being able to know you can raise your kids on your own if you needed to is worth the extra effort. Yes you will get tired, yes its a lot of studying, yes you will question yourself if you really should be doing this. But if you wait and keep questioning yourself, you may not do it and then wonder later why you didnt. Then instead of questioning you will be kicking yourself maybe. GO FOR IT, any way you can.

Somehow i dont think youll be sorry when its over.

There may also be some funding available for adult learners. Check with the State job service in the state you live. Check with the financial aide department in the college. There are ways. There may be some facilities in your area who will give scholarships for RN programs. Some of those arent necissarily put out there with strings of working for them after graduation.

Just some thoughts,, dont give up. Ya just have to look at the angles.

buddiage · May 19, 2006

Erika,

It is possible, with certain conditions.

One is, is you must effectively manage your time. I personally waited until my daughter was in pre-k. Managing time will be necessary, period. It will be hard at times, and on the other hand, it will give you (or at least it does me) a boost of self confidence. Going to school made me a better wife and mother! Mange time for son, husband, and school. You might need a schedule instead of shooting from the hip.

Support from the entire family is important. When I decided to go to school, my husband wasn't thrilled, even saying I'd likely quit! At that point in my life, I was in a do-or-die-trying mind set, and having the "game face" really helped me through. I was sick of staying at home, sick of being broke, and I told him I wanted to go to school, even if I had to charge it all.

I reminded him how financially we'd be better off, even though there are the sacrifices. Discussing sacrifices is important. Asking family to pitch in "for a year or two" would help you figure out where you stand. When you are done with school, your son will be older.

All things are possible if you want it bad enough. I told myself I shouldn't for a few years, because "it would be hard" or "my daughter needs her mom" or "I'd neglect my husband probably." Nonsense. You can do it, if you have a few resources and want it bad enough. In my situation, everybody actually wins.

buddiage · May 19, 2006

Thank you for your response.
What is a LVN? is it a licensed visiting nurse?
My husband and mom support me. My husband is afaid of how we will afford the payemnts after I graduate and if I will make enough, since the school is alot of money, since its a tech school.
I have to be for class for 5pm. I dont have anyone to watch my son. My husband gets home for like between 5-6pm, so I need to figure it out. ITs so hard when you have no one.
Thanks again,
Erika

I know. I moved to Missouri a year and a half ago- no relatives at all here. :-)

TazziRN, RN · May 19, 2006

Sorry, I keep forgetting there are different terms in different states!!! LVN is Licensed Vocation Nurse, the same as an LPN. That's just what the term is in CA and some other states. Maybe it's a west coast thing?

katfishLPN · May 19, 2006

Personally, I think your son should come first. He will only be little once...you will never, ever get this time back with him. Nursing school will always be there. Time flies by when you watch your little ones grow up believe me!! It really won't be too long before he is in school for a full day then you can too! :) Thats just my opinion...I am a stay at home mom of a 5 year old and a 7 year old. I have been a nurse for 17 years and will return to work when my youngest is in 1st grade. :nurse: Good Luck and I do wish you well!!!

ebsf · May 19, 2006

wow! Everyone has such good points!

No one really puts there name at the end, so I will just say your registered names. Is anyone a LPN or are all of you a RN?

Katfish, every time I say thats is it Im going, I look at my son and say, no way I cant! I dont want to miss anything! I never had! I cant stomach the feeling of missing times with him. But it will 3 nights a week. And for 2 days he will be in pre school from 1-4 so i will have some time to study.

And then I say ok I will do it after I have kids, but I am at this point, where I am doing nothing! And I feel and want to do something. I feel like I am in a pinball game going back and forth with pros and cons! If I dont go this september that is it for a few years.

Also it would be a huge age gap for our kids, but again you have to do what is best.

Also has anyone gone to school and waited to work a year or so and if so, have you had any trouble getting a job or remembering????

Thank you to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erika

katfishLPN · May 21, 2006

wow! Everyone has such good points!
No one really puts there name at the end, so I will just say your registered names. Is anyone a LPN or are all of you a RN?
Katfish, every time I say thats is it Im going, I look at my son and say, no way I cant! I dont want to miss anything! I never had! I cant stomach the feeling of missing times with him. But it will 3 nights a week. And for 2 days he will be in pre school from 1-4 so i will have some time to study.
And then I say ok I will do it after I have kids, but I am at this point, where I am doing nothing! And I feel and want to do something. I feel like I am in a pinball game going back and forth with pros and cons! If I dont go this september that is it for a few years.
Also it would be a huge age gap for our kids, but again you have to do what is best.
Also has anyone gone to school and waited to work a year or so and if so, have you had any trouble getting a job or remembering????
Thank you to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Erika

I find it interesting that you state "I am doing nothing." I beg to differ!! You are doing THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB in the world...raising your child! Nursing school will always be there as I said before, your boy won't be little for long. I understand. I have not been working the last 2 years, before that my husband was home with the kids full time. I worked because he broke his back and he couldn't work. I have these feelings that I need to go back to work, but I would never put my youngest in daycare so the thought quickly goes but I undestand the urge. I also don't agree with pre-school. I think kids leave us soon enough to go out into the world without pushing them into the world earlier. I didn't go to pre-school and I managed just fine. That is just my opinion though and everyone needs to make their own decisions but I believe once you bring a child into the world you need to do what is best for them not necessarily what we want to do.

Good Luck...Katie (katfish)

ebsf · May 21, 2006

Hi Katie and thanks for the reply.

I knew that would come out wrong, I didn't mean to say I do nothing. I do everything! LOL!

Because being with my son is, and has been the most wonderful thing.

We sacrifice big time, but everthing and every sacrifice is worth it. He will be going to school before I know it and it scares the heck out of me. He started to go to pre schhol for more socializaion, since I dont know many people with kids his age, actually I only know one.

ITs just such a big decsion, thanks for your input.

Erika :)

Hoping LVN2BSN · May 21, 2006

EBSF,

It sounds like you do have a lot of doubts, maybe you should do some more thinking.

I am an LVN student now married with a one year old baby girl, and my husband is in the Navy on deployment now. I was working before our daughter was born, I made up the bulk of our income then I was "let go" for being pregnant, that's right, as soon as the belly started to show, I was gone. It's incredibly hard to live, especially in San Diego on one low income. I enrolled in a one year program that's $23,000 and had no idea what we were going to do about the monthly payments, childcare, and my hubby was going on deployment in a month which would leave me a single parent for at least 6 months. We had to leave everything in God's hands, we had no clue how anything was going to come together. Financial aid worked with me and allowed us to pay $100/month, my dad moved from across the state to live with us for a year until I graduate, and I found a wonderful job working per diem making my own hours in mental health that pays more than the job from which I was fired. I work a couple weekends a month which is enough to close the gap. It's been 4 months now and everything is going much better than expected. Is it hard to leave my daughter 5 days a week, yes!! Double yes, but I know if I don't, things will be worse. The sacrifice will indeed be worth it for us. In the end, it will actually buy me anyway more time with our daughter because instead of her being in childcare while we're both working longer than 9-5, I can work a couple nights a week while my husband is with her and have the other five days for family. Once I got deeper in nusing school, our day usually ends at 1pm and I go to work after our daughter is asleep. So I don't miss much with her.

It's a decision you will have to think about fully with your family and about every aspect from every point of view. Weighing the risks and benefits, you have to be wholeheartedly convicted that this is right for you and your family. If you aren't, it won't work out because you'll sabotage yourself. Our class started out at 29 and now is down to 20, some I knew personally were trying to convince themselves that this was the right time and it wasn't. Make sure your fully informed from your school about repayment options, make sure your informed about everything!! I know here in California, I have had student loans the last 2 years and I don't have to pay a dime until I'm out of school for six full months, they are continuously deferred. I'm going on to RN, then onto a Master's, I'll have student loans up the butt by the time I'm done, but I'll be able to afford them. Whatever you do, God bless!!!!

April