NCLEX psychosis

[Grixsy1]

I took the NCLEX this week and it was the worst experience of my life. I studied like crazy and was a nervous wreck the entire time but kept rationalizing in my head how logically I should pass.... I graduated from a school with one of the highest pass rates in Vegas, took the Drexel review which has a 98% pass rate, studied the entire Kaplan book and even studied parts of Mosby's, Saunders and Llippincott. I was about as calm as a psycho woman could be when I arrived at the testing center. The first question came up and I wanted to leave, tell them I'd like to forfeit my money and reschedule because I didn't have any idea what the first question was even asking. Obviously, I couldn't though so after reading and analyzing the question I chose what I felt might be the answer and clicked "next". The next question was the same way, I didn't feel like I knew what precisely they were asking in order to answer the question, again chose the best answer as I interpreted the question and clicked "next". It seemed like it went like that throughout the entire exam. I was nearing the 2 hour mark when I would be offered my first break without penalty of my 6 hour time limit. I wasn't paying attention to which question I was on and when I clicked "next" with the same amount of uncertainty I'd had with every question up to that point the screen went blank. I thought #&%$, just my luck.... a computer malfunction. Nope, it said I was done and to continue answering the survey questions before leaving the testing room. Leaving Pearson everyone was very nice, encouraging.... giving me a little pamphlet telling me what to expect now, when I could get my results, when I could retest, etc as they told me good bye and sent me on my way. I was still in shock that it was over and I find my way to my car, start it up, pull out of the parking structure and then it hit me..... I just failed the NCLEX. I was a wreck, called my momon the way home to tell her I failed and then I had to get off the phone because I needed to focus on not becoming hysterical so I could get home without an accident. Once home I let myself fall apart, hysterically crying, getting physically ill, laying on the couch the rest of the afternoon and then eating a small bite before going to bed. I had to wait 48 hours to get the "quick results" that would confirm my failing. The next day I stayed in my pajamas and in my room most of the day. Luckily the next day I was taking an IV class, which I went to thinking, what is the point of this because I know I failed. At lunch I checked and it said my test results were ready, my stomach sank, because I knew I'd have to face the FACT that I failed when I got home and paid my $7.95 for the results. I drove home becoming more depressed than I can remember being in a long time. I hit a few red lights which made the agony even worse. When I got home I changed into my pajamas to make it easier to lock myself in my room and let myself mourn my failure. I got my computer, put it on the table and logged on to get my results. The first time I entered my credit card information I forgot to put the expiration date so when I clicked "next" (what is it with the "next" everywhere with these people) I got an error message. For the love of God, can they at least make this part easy? I put it in again and it said I'd confirm my order on the next page so I sat there as I clicked "next".... confirmed my order by clicking the final "next" and ran away before the result could come up. I yelled for my mom to come read it but luck would have it she was busy upstairs and didn't hear me. I couldn't wait and didn't have the energy to yell or go upstairs to get her so I sat down with my eyes closed at the computer and then took a deep breath and looked. I read each line my name, the date of the test, the name of the test I took and finally the result.... pass.

After reading that I was crying, screaming and running around the house ........ I'm still in shock, but I passed! When it's your time to take the NCLEX, remember my experience and know your reactions are "normal" for someone who has worked their a$$ of for so long to be put through one last ultimate "final exam" in order to reach their goal.

[gmtkings]

reading your post gave me chills! i swear, i felt your anxiety hehe. thank goodness it was all for nothing, cuz you passed! congratulations!!!!

[Silverdragon102, BSN]

Congratulations and yes very normal to come out of the test center and feel as if you failed

[jerzie0820]

i love it when everyone shares their nclex experience in detailed. mind if i just ask, which materials you used? if you've done kaplan, what were your scores? on my opinion, you already did a very good job in the beginning. i have no clue what made you anxious about the exam.. hehe

congratulations!