My application proposal for uni, what do you think?

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Hi everyone, im only new to all this, I have done aged care for 3 years and have just applied to study Bachelor of Nursing at university. This is my application proposal and I would love for you all to tell me what you think or give me any tips? thankyou :)

"If you never stop learning, life will always be interesting and filled with new opportunities"

I started working in Aged Care at the age of 18, some people used to tell me that I was too young to cope in a job which is so demanding and tough. They didn't know me. Through my sheer love and passion for the job I have now been doing it for 3 years, completed my certificate III and recently my certificate IV in Aged Care. I have a strong determination to prove to myself that I can be someone, and I know that I have done and will continue to do great things for people in need. Nursing is more than just a job to me. It's a love, a passion, a challenge.

Working in Aged Care has taught me so many skills which I believe are essential to be a nurse. Time management, organisation, team work, problem solving, leadership and so many more but I fear to name them all you would lose interest in my proposal.

I have cared for people in their most vulnerable of times, everything from showering and feeding them to cleaning bodily fluids most people would shy away from. There is something that feels so right when helping people in their time of need, feelings of pride, achievement, and love. Not something I think I can truly explain to do the feeling justice.

I know that nursing is a physically and emotionally draining career, but to have a job with real meaning and the ability to help people overcomes any reservations I may ever have had. I aspire to be the person who ensures all patients are treated by a skilled and competent nurse who can provide treatment in a compassionate manner and respect each person's dignity and personal beliefs. I do not want to be just a care giver; I want to be a role model.

I strive for practical and do able goals, work for excellence academically and professionally. I was raised to be humbled, peaceful, strong, and tolerant. And to understand different cultures, beliefs, ethics, and attitudes, to endow others with respect, as well as with a loving heart and an open mind.

I do not yet know where I see myself in 10 years. That's one of the great things I love about the thought of having a nursing career. It is such a versatile profession encompassing so many diverse fields that I could be anywhere.

People all seem to have a story or event that happened in their life which has inspired them to want to be a nurse. I do not have a story like that. I simply know that I am meant to be that nurse that they all talk about, the one who is so compassionate and caring, who truly helps and inspires people. That's me. Maybe not yet, but with the education and experience I know I will gain at UOW I will be.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Hi everyone, i'm only new to all this, I have done aged care for 3 years and have just applied to study Bachelor of Nursing at university. This is my application proposal and I would love for you all to tell me what you think or give me any tips? thank you :)

"If you never stop learning, life will always be interesting and filled with new opportunities"

I started working in Aged Care at the age of 18, some people used to tell me that I was too young to cope in a job which is so demanding and tough. They didn't know me. Through my sheer love and passion for the job I have now been doing it for 3 years, completed my certificate III and recently my certificate IV in Aged Care. I have a strong determination to prove to myself that I can be someone, and I know that I have done and will continue to do great things for people in need. Nursing is more than just a job to me. It's a love, a passion, a challenge.

Working in Aged Care has taught me so many skills which I believe are essential to be a nurse. Time management, organisation, team work, problem solving, leadership and so many more but I fear to name them all you would lose interest in my proposal.

I have cared for people in their most vulnerable of times, everything from showering and feeding them to cleaning bodily fluids most people would shy away from. There is something that feels so right when helping people in their time of need, feelings of pride, achievement, and love. Not something I think I can truly explain to do the feeling justice.

I know that nursing is a physically and emotionally draining career, but to have a job with real meaning and the ability to help people overcomes any reservations I may ever have had. I aspire to be the person who ensures all patients are treated by a skilled and competent nurse who can provide treatment in a compassionate manner and respect each person's dignity and personal beliefs. I do not want to be just a care giver; I want to be a role model.

I strive for practical and doable goals, work for excellence academically and professionally. I was raised to be humbled, peaceful, strong, and tolerant. And to understand different cultures, beliefs, ethics, and attitudes, to endow others with respect, as well as with a loving heart and an open mind.

I do not yet know where I see myself in 10 years. That's one of the great things I love about the thought of having a nursing career. It is such a versatile profession encompassing so many diverse fields that I could be anywhere.

People all seem to have a story or event that happened in their life which has inspired them to want to be a nurse. I do not have a story like that. I simply know that I am meant to be that nurse that they all talk about, the one who is so compassionate and caring, who truly helps and inspires people. That's me. Maybe not yet, but with the education and experience I know I will gain at UOW I will be.

doable is one word......well done.

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Specializes in CVSICU, Cardiac Cath Lab.

The concept behind your paper is touching and inspirational. IMHO, it communicates why you want to become a nurse and what you will contribute to the profession--well done!

That being said, your writing style is occasionally less than clear and there are numerous grammar errors. You may want to proofread this more closely before sending to a university; perhaps a previous English teacher or counselor will be willing to assist you. Several examples that I found with a quick skim include:

(1) "I started working in Aged Care at the age of 18, some people used to tell me that I was too young to cope in a job which is so demanding and tough." This is actually two separate sentences. They should either be linked using a semicolon or a transitional phrase, such as ", and.";

(2) always spell out the words for numbers greater than 1,000;

(3) "I fear to name them all you would lose interest in my proposal" This sentence is missing a word--perhaps rewording it as "lest you lose interest in my proposal" would make it read more smoothly. Or better yet, delete the sentence altogether.

I hope this helps. You seem to possess a strong desire to be be a nurse and the passion to be a good one. Good luck!

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