This is just for fun but I know CNA's can be very superstitious! Feel free to share your own Murphy's laws of being a CNA!
Say it's quiet and within 15 minutes you'll have 4 bed strips, 8 call lights going off, and 3 falls!
Your favorite residents will die but the one that kicks and spits at you will be around forever.
You say "Wow, I had such a good day, I got everything done!" and the charge nurse will come down the hall and ask why there isn't a bedspread on 313's bed.
The resident who needs the bedpan the most frequently will always be the farthest possible room.
I totally agree the tiny ones can kick your a$$! I've gotten socked in the nose more frequently by the little ones than any others. Last night it took me holding down an 85lb tiny woman so the nurse could give her heparin injection.
Never tell yourself that you're going to have any easy shift. NOT EVER.
Every thing will hit the fan and your work will increast expotentially. And you will be teamed up with the most lazy useless aides in the known universe.
The amount of excrement is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to clean it up.
This is so true. And the less time you have to clean it up, the less time and effort your coworkers will take to record the BMs, thereby turning the poo into a vicious cycle.
oohhhh I have another one! I love threads like this :)
I have several residents who ask if it's a good night. Inevitably they do this early or mid shift. And my standard answer is I never say it's a good night until 5:55am and no one's died/fallen/beat me up They get a kick out of that but really, it's true. I never call it a good one til it's done.
The lift battery will go dead just as you reach the "point of no return" and your resident will invariably be hanging in the air while you go scrounge up another battery.
On a sadder note-
The residents that can still walk/ do things for themselves will refuse therapy and refuse to do anything themselves while the woman with contracted bones will apologize that she can't do more to help you.
Running late on your completes cause the pharmacy was slow, find out you got 2 feeder's. First 1 u go 2 is alert, sitting up and talking Yes!!! This is gonna be quick. But lo and behold, after every spoonful, he starts talking.
What I thought would be 15min turns into 45min ! Can some1 say "life story".
The second you clean a patient up from a BM from hell and change their linens they have ANOTHER giant BM...Ugh...I hate when that happens! It seems that it happens whenever you're running behind on your rounds.:smackingf
The second you clean a patient up from a BM from hell and change their linens they have ANOTHER giant BM...Ugh...I hate when that happens! It seems that it happens whenever you're running behind on your rounds.:smackingf
They get a kick out of that but really, it's true. I never call it a good one til it's done.
! Can some1 say "life story".
Indeed! LOL
NM nurse to be
172 Posts
The resident who needs the bedpan the most frequently will always be the farthest possible room.
I totally agree the tiny ones can kick your a$$! I've gotten socked in the nose more frequently by the little ones than any others. Last night it took me holding down an 85lb tiny woman so the nurse could give her heparin injection.