Monitering does End

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I just heard from my CM, after 800 logins,( never missed a day ), over $4000 just in U/A's (never failed a one), countless mundane AA mtgs, restrictions placed and lifted, I will be eligible for completion from TPAPN in 7 more days. This means for me, I can stop living in fear of incidental exposure, of the daily login, of the stigma I've been branded with for the last 2 years. I got a DWI (etoh) and have paid dearly for it. I feel a sense of freedom I haven't felt in years. My eyes well with tears at the thought of going to the coast fishing with the guys and not worrying if a Quest lab is nearby. Of planning a trip to Costa Rica without fear of getting kicked out of the program and starting over. I can, I will, continue to work as an RN with my head held high. So a word of hope to all out there who share in this dilemma. Stay true to yourself, be your own best friend, never give up, never surrender. For you too, Monitering does end.....Peace

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Specializes in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG.

Awesome!!! It's great when u actually see the light at the end of the tunnel and it's NOT an oncoming train!!

Anne, RNC

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That is awesome!! Congratulations!!! I'm curious if you don't mind saying. Did you get convicted of a DWI or did all this happen with a DWI guilty plea and court supervision but not officially of a conviction? (I'm from a different state and unfortunately picked up a DWI but under court supervision right now and afraid of the BON possible actions )

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(Soullus RN) I plead "nolo contende" or No Contest, but its the same as being convicted. Day after judgement was made I self reported to BON. It was about a month later I received a letter from BON referring me to TPAPN. The view of BON was that I exhibited poor judgement, this was true. To note, I was on vacation, I never was never drinking @ work. I don't use drugs/perscriptions for recreation. I was terrified of what this might mean to my career, so I sat down with my clinical manager and put everything out on the table. Her compassion and support has been a driving force keeping me going. As she stated "You are an exceptional RN I'm not going to lose you over this". I never lost my job, and we've managed to navigate the restrictions (along with a few close friends on the unit) so I could keep my head held high. I have endured thru this by keeping my focus in an acceptance mode, with the knowledge that this too shall pass. The fear, anxiety, depression, frustration, feeling this punishment is too sever for what I have done, have all blindsided me, and have passed. My hope for you is the BON gives you a free pass, if not, find your inner strengths and believe in them, as the negative emotions blindside you. Accept them for what they are and release them. For you this too shall pass, and tomorrow is a new day..... Peace

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very, very well said, Oogie!!

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Specializes in adult health , critical care.

Oogie, I want to thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. I am in the program in Pennsylvania for a DWI as well. It was a bad time in my life and I definitely made a poor judgement decision that horrible day. I am in the program for 42 months and am 3/4 done . I have 15 months left and have been made into a better stronger person for it. All that being said I can't wait until this is over. All the emotions you talked about and coping mechanisms you developed are exactly what I have done and tried to continue to rely on my close and supportive friends and family. It really is a big commitment to start and successfully complete these programs and I want to say Congratulations too you and God Bless you . ??

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Jmo, your kind words are appreciated! I'm glad that you too have found coping mechanisms and the support to keep going. This has been a tremendous strain on me (and I'm sure all of us in, y'alls own way) thru every aspect of my life. The experience has taught me new levels of patience, I've never thought were possible. I have learned to truly appreciate what I have, and to recognize those things that are destructive and release them. I have found more room in my heart for empathy and compassion. You see, I''ve had too, to counter the great resentment I have for these monitoring programs. I don't have much respect for them, or how we're treated. I've read of real peoples lives in this forum, good people. Who've made poor choices, but that does not make them bad people. Not all of us deserve to have our livelihoods stripped (or threatened) away or to be forced to live in fear day in and day out, for years on end. The folks that run these monitoring programs have a daunting task. I've actually talked to my CM 3 times in the last 2 years. This person does not know me! or what I have to offer the nursing profession! I'm just another case in her load. - nuff said - Survival for me is to keep positive, believe I have much to offer my patients and their family's. Maybe a few words to offer encourage and support to all you on the forum. I have 5 days left, I leave now to ready for work, make someone smile, cast away some of their fears of having surgery. I know I'm a good person, that's enuf for me......Peace

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