Mom to mom advice

shock-me-sane · Sep 1, 2007

all schools that I know of are strict on clinical attendance. I missed a day because I was sick and I had a ton of paperwork to do to make up for it. Tests are similar. You can't just not show.

You really need a backup plan. Do you have someone you can have pick up your daughter and watch her if she is sick? I am not a mom, but I do know that the schools are strict but depending on the situation can be understanding. Did you not ask them about this at orientation?

good luck to you.

Mommycakers · Sep 1, 2007

I agree that you will need a back up if your husband is not at home. Do you have a YMCA near you? They may be able to cover the school holidays if you let them know you need childcare on these specific days. Do you have any family, neighbors or friends who could watch your daughter if she is home sick? If not, you may need to put school off until your husband returns.

I have four kids so covering childcare is a concern of mine also. When I start nursing school we are going to save a lot of my husbands vacation days so he will be able to use them if he has to stay home with a sick child. I also have a neighbor that I could leave my 2 non-school age children with if I am stuck. My two school age children have an after school care program that they can attend if I am still at school when their school ends at 3 PM. The younger ones will be in daycare.

Lamie · Sep 1, 2007

I'm in a similar situation. I just got accepted into the LPN program and was offered a spot beginning this fall. Sadly, I had to decline because I unintentionally got pregnant right after I applied for the program this spring, and my shortly after that my husband deployed to Iraq (he's in the National Guard). I also have a 7-year old son, and no family living nearby. Our baby is due in early November, so a fall start is out of the question. All my friends have full-time jobs and can't just come and help out in a whim.

I spoke to the Nursing Dept. coordinator, and she suggested that I wait until my husband returns next year in the fall. I'm very lucky that they will keep a spot for me in the program for three years, so I can relax a little bit about not making it into the program anymore. They are very strict about attendance and tardiness, and you will be dismissed from the program if you are late a certain number of times or miss instruction or clinical days. I can't afford for this to happen since the program fee ($7000) is non-refundable if you are dismissed for those reasons. I hate to wait another year before I can get started, but I have no choice. This one year delay is going to affect us financially, as I was hoping to start working next year, after the program, but now that won't happen until 2009.

I feel for everyone who faces the same obstacles. It's just too hard to juggle a demanding program while constantly worrying what to do if the kids get sick and you have no help/family around to help out on short notice. I'd love to just give it a try and see how it works out, but since there is too much at stake financially, I'll just have to sit and wait for now. In the meantime, I'll take individual classes that are required for the RN program that I intend to tackle after I'm an LPN. This way I won't get out of the loop completely.

Good luck to everyone!

justme1972 · Sep 1, 2007

My husband stays gone during the week for his business. My children are in daycare, but if they are sick, they can't go. I have a trusted relative that I am 100% confident in their level of care if my children are sick to their stomach, running a mild fever, etc. I'll pack a meal of homemade chicken soups, special drinks, etc, so the caregiver doesn't have to worry about it, and I KNOW what my child is getting.

However, if they are sick, that is the one time when my food "rules" are out the door...ice cream, cookies, whatever...if they want it, they get it...they need all the fat, sugar, and calories when their little bodies are trying to heal.

However, extremely high fevers..I just don't want someone else to have that kind of liability should things take a turn and having to make a decision...that is when you have no choice to miss.

I would see if there is someone that would be willing to help you out, and make sure your daughter is familiar with this person...kids basically sleep alot when they are sick.

You also need to plan for not only your daughter's illness, but your own. I have never worked in a hospital, and I wonder, if you got extremely ill with a fever, you may not be allowed to work clinicals that day.

nurz2be · Sep 1, 2007

I just attended the orientation today at MCI for their LPN day program which starts Tues, Sept 4,2007. I am a Navy wife whose husband is overseas and a mom with a 5 year daughter who is about to start Kindergarten. I am concerned about this program being to strict on attendance and confining with many rules regarding excused absences. They still have class on school holidays and I am concerned about being able to have enough excusable days in a 5-week module to stay at home in case my daughter gets sick throughout her school year. The program seems to be a good one, but I am not too sure if it's gonna work for me since I am the only caregiver for my daughter at this time. I would like to hear advice from anyone who has been in this situation or advice concerning this issue. I am seriously contemplating delaying this program, but don't want to keep putting off

Thank you to your and your family who so diligently watch over our country.

I too was a military wife, hubby in 14 years in the Army. I know that it can differ from military branch to military branch but one thing I know does not change, that is watching out for each other. I too was in a similar situation. Both of our children were actually born with my husband serving in Kuwait years ago, so I can completely relate. What we did, as a group of women, the company my husband was assigned to, all met and the wives exchanged numbers and addresses, most of us lived on base. We would meet, try to, once a week when the men were gone. Share worries and fears, go to movies and so on. We also watched each others children, like in your case, if one got sick and one of us was in school or couldn't leave work. You can find AMAZING support that way. You can call you husbands CO and he will give you his wifes info, usually the CO's wife is the leader of these groups, and she will talk to you and put you in touch with others who can help you through this. Depend on them like your husband depends on his support.

I also spent time here MILITARY WIVES, it is a great site with a lot of info. Good luck...may the winds of home bring him back safe to your heart.

Holliday · Sep 1, 2007

Thanks so much for the advice and the boost of confidence. I will definitely look into finding a back-up babysitter for her. I try to keep in mind that this is only a 12-month program, and that my husband won't always be gone. Thanks again! It's good to hear that I'm not alone and others have done it also. I will look into the support groups also.

Holliday · Sep 1, 2007

Yes I do have a YMCA and no family around for 500 miles. I will look into the YMCA and see what they have available. Thanks for the suggestion

future L&Dnurse · Sep 1, 2007

I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old, and my program is also very strict. My husband is at home but it's pretty much impossible for him to leave work - if a kid gets sick, I have to be the one to manage it because he can't just go home from his job. We have a spot reserved in a before-and-after school program for our 5 year old, just in case. The program offers care on inservice days and holidays also. My 3 year old has a spot at a preschool that offers somewhat extended hours.

I agree that you do need a backup plan, but I also think that (hopefully) you will not have a problem at all. I have only missed 3 days total in the 8 months I've been in nursing school due to sick kids - hopefully you will have the same luck. I think if you explain to your instructors that your husband is overseas and you have limited child care options, they may be more forgiving. I would absolutely come up with a backup plan for days you are in clinical, though. There is definitely a difference between missing a day of lecture, versus missing a day of clinical.

edited to add: The YMCA is a good idea. Ask preschools near the elementary school, also - they may have after-school care for kindergarteners. I have no idea if the military would be able to give you information but if there is someone you could ask, it may be worthwhile. I would also see if maybe the elementary school has a program to provide care during inservice days, so you don't have to miss those days. You could also ask around to friends in your area. I have a very dear friend who is willing to pick my sick child up from school if necessary. I wouldn't call her to do it if I had any other options, but it's nice to have that "safety net."

worf · Sep 1, 2007

This is one of the hardest parts about being a military spouse. Often time, you don't have family around to count on. And you move aroound so often you aren't sure who to trust with your children. I too, am having similar issues.

Perhaps you should try a Navy Child Development Home (CDH). In these homes are licensed child care providers that may be more lax on sick policies.

Also you should check out MWR or the Navy Boys and Girls Club, they usually have summer programs for school age children, and after school programs for children that can really help. If it is a military run program such as MWR they realize, like we do, that military members work, even on the holidays and they still need childcare!

Good Luck to you!

Eirene, ASN, RN · Sep 1, 2007

hi there! congratulations on becoming a nursing student.

it's hard being a mom, let alone a mom whose husband is overseas, and being in school. my 6 year old is also starting kindergarten on the 17th.

my little guy has cerebral palsy and i can't just find a "regular" babysitter. my husband is self-employed; if he takes off, he doesn't get paid. my in-laws are in their 70's, and it's too hard for them to physical handle a wheelchair. what i have done is made friends with a neighbor who is also a mom to a child with cp (not as severe) and i'm going to use her as a back-up plan. if i were you, i'd make friends with parents at your child's school.

don't put this off! you will make it through! i'm in my last year. :balloons:

MB37 · Sep 2, 2007

Something else to look into - the hospital that I'm doing my clinicals at has a special day care on site for sick kids of staff, so we don't have to miss work to stay home with them and they'll have ready access to care if needed. Plus, whenever you get a break you can run and check in with them. It's available for students doing clinicals as well. As far as class, hopefully you could explain your family situation to your instructors at the beginning of the semester, and if something come up hopefully they will allow someone else to tape the lecture for you one of my instructors recorded one herself for a student last semester who must have had a good excuse to miss. The other suggestions are great as well - I'm not military, but have had a lot of friends who were, and they wives always seem to form a great community. Hopefully you can work something out so you can attend as planned.