Jump to content

Mom is abusive to all the nurses


That's the bad part of my new 2nd job. The good news is that I can walk to work since it is so super close to me. I can sleep in late since I am so close. I'll save money-won't have to buy any gas. It is only once a week. I can't stand abusive people but there are many benefits to be so very close to this job. So, how have you dealt with abusive moms? The patient is fine. It's the mom who is the problem. I was told that she is bipolar and is abusive to all the nurses. Yikes!!!:crying2:

If you need the work you have to put up with it. The agency will not back the nurses. At least that is the way it is most of the time. Also best to start looking for the next case, because these people usually get rid of their nurses at some point in time.

Thanks caliotter3. Yes, the agency will not not back the nurses. The agency told me to just put up with Mom's abuse because Mom is crazy. The agency said that Mom has kicked out a few nurses within 30 minutes of the nurse arriving at the home. I hope I will survive because I hate to drive. But yes, I do need to keep in mind that Mom could kick me to the curb at any time. I am hoping that since it is only once a week I can deal with it OK.

As a mom with nurses in her home, and being just one semester shy of finishing a BSN, I can't believe a parent would treat nurses this way. That is appalling! Yes, I have had nurses that I didn't want back after orientation but there is a HUGE difference between that and being abusive.

Yes,ventmommy it sure is crazy. Tomorrow is my 1st day with "Mom:eek:." I hope I can last the whole day. I sure would not want to be abusive to someone taking care of my child. I would be nice and kind so the nurse would feel relaxed and would be able to give the best care possible.

I arrived at the house this morning. I oriented with another nurse for 2 hours then the agency told me to leave. I was suppose to work a long shift. The first thing out of Mom's mouth was a loud shriek!!!! Don't touch my child. I said OK even though it was obvious that the child needed to be suctioned. Mom then said "I don't want any spies here either as she glared at me. I then walked over to look at the tube feedings that were hung. Mom screamed "I told you not to touch my child." I told her I was just looking at the tube feeding. She then said that the other nurse had been with her for a long time and that she was going to keep that nurse. She acted as though I wanted to steal the other nurse's job!!!!!!! I oriented with the other nurse for 2 hours and am returning this evening for a 4 hour shift all by myself. Anyway, when she gives me a bad time this evening I will suggest that it is probably best if I just go home. I have a feeling that this day is my first and last day of this assignment. I don't see myself putting up with this situation. If this is all this agency can offer me then forget it.

You would do well to call the agency and tell them that you have reconsidered and have decided that this is not going to work so you won't be going tonight. That woman could very well set a trap for you tonight or at the least throw you out for your trouble of driving there. It is not worth it. She told you. She doesn't want you touching her daughter. That should be all you have to hear and all you have to tell the agency.

Yes, I would love to just call in and say forget it tonight. However, this is my very 1st assignment date with this brand new agency. I told the agency that Mom didn't want me touching her child. The agency said they talked with Mom about it. The agency says Mom knows I'm coming back this evening by myself and is OK with it. :confused: I don't want to call off on my very first day with this brand new agency. I think it will make me look better if I do show up as promised. Then, I can say "Oh darn. Mom doesn't like me. I guess you will have to find me a different assignment.":lol2:

Since that is the case, play it that way, but don't be surprised if Mom throws you out. As a matter of fact, hope that she pulls that one tonight. Unless you like the idea of working around this person, it is not a good deal.

Thanks caliotter 3. :)Yes, it should be an interesting evening. I am scheduled for 4 hours. I wonder how long I will actually be in the house? Will she even let me in the house? If she does let me in when the abuse starts I will say "I'm sorry. I seem to be upsetting you and making things worse instead of helping you with your child. Perhaps it would be best if I leave now and get out of your hair". :confused:

Just make sure you are very clear when you tell her you are leaving her daughter in her care and call the agency to inform them before you even leave the house. If she actually throws you out, call them from outside the door orfrom inside your car, and note the time and the name of the agency employee you talk to. Then, when you get home, write an incident report and send it in with your time sheet. You are supposed to get paid show up pay but not all agencies do that.

Thanks caliotter3. Yes, if I am thrown out this evening, I will definately do as you suggested. However, I will leave her house and then call the agency immediately. I would be too scared to stay in that house if she asked me to leave. She's such an angry hateful person. Yes, it would be nice to get paid something for showing up. I guess I could call it "Hazard pay." I don't know if this agency will pay or not. I hope so.

I just got back from my 4 hour shift. Mom was a completely different person this evening. She even apologized for the way she treated me this morning!!!:eek: She was nice and pleasant towards me the entire evening!!!!!:yeah: She even talked to me about some of her personal problems!!!!! Unbelievable.

Don't let your guard down with her.

Yes, caliotter3 I am still going to watch my back. Thanks. I am wondering what the agency told her today?:confused: I am wondering if they told her that I was the only nurse left? Maybe they told her "It's either this nurse or no nurse." I was told that she has already chased away most of the nurses.

It could also be a manifestation of her mental illness. Don't make her behavior your problem. There are other clients out there.

I am hoping for the best. But if she gets nasty again with me that's it. I am not going to put up with a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde type. Yes, there are other clients available-absolutely.:yeah:

Edited by Blackcat99


Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN. Has 23 years experience.

I'm just reading this and it's like Dejavu. I once had a case with a bipolar mom who would not take her meds on a regular basis. It's a hard life(having bipolar). I didn't want to quit the case, because the hours were perfect, but when it gets to the point where the situation does not permit you to perform your duties in a safe and reasonable manner, it's time to move on. I'm so glad it worked out so far for you. Caliotter3, YOU ROCK.