missing pinning ceremony for dying father's birthday

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Everyone in my class is going. All 40 or so. My instructors told us students, we aren't mandated to go. However, I know this is a special event and by not going, I feel like I'm disrespecting all that Florence Nightingale stood for. The reason I'm not going is because the day of pinning is also my dad's birthday and he's recently put on hospice. This might be the last time I can celebrate his birthday. He lives out of state, which is why I can't be in two places at once. Anyone been in the same situation? How did you deal with it? I'm feeling alot of things right now.

Specializes in Palliative.

In the vein of what some others have said, why don't you get the pin early and then facetime or skype to the ceremony so that you can watch everyone and your dad can pin you at the appropriate time? It's not that hard to do stuff like that these days. I would talk to the school admins and see what they will do to accomodate you. I can't see why they wouldn't, especially since it's obviously a small class. When my dad died, my classmates all got flowers and cake and we took part of that day off AS a class.

We didn't have a pinning ceremony because our school decided it was stupid ages ago. And you can see there are many competent nurses who didn't go. So if it turns out the school won't accommodate you, you'll still be living up to the role of a nurse just by being with your dad. Both in terms of caring and in terms of knowing the priority answer.

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Spend the day with your Dad. I didn't go to graduation or pinning, I don't regret it. Family first. Always.

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UPDATE: My dad passed away, he got to see his only grandchild for the first time, and I was able to get my own pinning ceremony. I was in shock regarding the ceremony, because though I asked one instructor to perform it in her office, we ended up going to a bigger conference room where most the faculty were in attendance! I received tons of hugs and the professor who pinned me asked me to come back and teach with her someday. I was flattered. Furthermore, my classmate texted me last week stating I didn't miss much of the ceremony. For one thing, when they called out the honor grads, her name wasn't called even though she received a letter from the college a few days later stating she was indeed an honor grad. I would have been upset. I was also an honor grad but at least I wasn't there to go through that.

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UPDATE: My dad passed away, he got to see his only grandchild for the first time, and I was able to get my own pinning ceremony. I was in shock regarding the ceremony, because though I asked one instructor to perform it in her office, we ended up going to a bigger conference room where most the faculty were in attendance! I received tons of hugs and the professor who pinned me asked me to come back and teach with her someday. I was flattered. Furthermore, my classmate texted me last week stating I didn't miss much of the ceremony. For one thing, when they called out the honor grads, her name wasn't called even though she received a letter from the college a few days later stating she was indeed an honor grad. I would have been upset. I was also an honor grad but at least I wasn't there to go through that.

I am so sorry for your loss. How wonderful that you were still able to be honored at a much more personal pinning ceremony.

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As someone who lost both parents while I was in my mid20's, go spend the day with your dad. You won't get this time back.

Ask the school if you could have your pin prior and have your dad pin you with all your family there...take your uniform you were going to wear and have pictures with him. This is a memory that will last forever and will be something he will cherish as I am sure he is very proud!

What a great idea, brought tears to my eyes.

If it were me I'd be able to get over missing the pinning but not get over missing spending the time with my dad on his last birthday.

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Thanks everyone for the advice and for some, your empathy. We are in a caring profession and it's nice to know other nurses have your back during times like these. Have a great new years everyone and wish me luck I take my NCLEX the 19th.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I am so sorry for your loss. How WONDERFUL you were there for your dad. You won't regret that. Life is like that; tough choices must be made. Never doubt, you made the absolute right one.

My gramps was dying in my toughest semester of nursing school. I told my instructors I was going back to Chicago to see him one more time. They were not too encouraging and said I might not pass. I went anyhow. Took my books and studied and brought my then-4 year old son to see his great grampa for the first time.

Needless to say, I finished with a 4.0, and never regretted going home one last time to visit him. I am so glad we did.

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