Military wives/nurses with deployed spouses?

occc2010rn · Mar 31, 2008

SoundofMusic,

I am a miliatry spouse as well and I just wanted to let you know that I will keep you in my prayers. My DH is not deployed (although he has been), and I cannot pretend to understand your situation because we were overseas when he deployed to Iraq, and I was aSAHM at the time. Are you on a base? My best suggestion is to form an informal support group if there are others near you in a similiar situation. We had an "ugly mug club" and when someone showed up with their ugly mug (make sure they are ugly), we knew it was time for a *****-session or whatever.

Good luck!

Jeanine

Elvish, BSN, DNP, RN, NP · Mar 31, 2008

Sound of Music,

You might want to check out our Military & Uniformed Services nursing forum as well. You might find some folks there too who are in your same situation.

https://allnurses.com/forums/f57/

I have a nurse friend whose hubby got back from A-stan (82nd Airborne) not too long ago, and I know it has got to be hard. So, my thanks to your husband for his service (please feel free to pass it on to him) and my thanks to you for sharing him with our country.

Best regards to you all.

cheshirecat · Mar 31, 2008

Hubby was in the Royal Air Force and was deployed in Kosovo, Afghanistan and Iraq. He retired 2 years ago.

You just have to take each day as it comes. I wrote hubby hundreds of e-blueys (do not know if you have them in USA), Sometimes wrote 5 in a day. It made me feel close to him, and he loved getting off a sortie and receiving loads of letters from me.

Are you living on a base? Sometimes that is easier as there are loads of wives/families going through the same thing.

Am thinking of you and your loved one. Hope he comes home safe.

psalm, RN · Mar 31, 2008

Yes, see about having a circle of friends you can depend on when having a meltdown. But be selective...I had to quit a group when a few of the wives had their boyfriends show up at our get-togethers (yep, boyfriends while their husbands were holed up in a submarine)!

I belonged to a church where there was a large group of military families so there was support there. Helped my prayer life also.

2BArmyRN · Apr 1, 2008

Hi! I am a military wife -- my husband is currently serving in Iraq...it's been just about 7 months since I've seen him, and I can hardly believe the time is flying the way it is...

I suppose it helps that I'm still working on my BSN...that definitely helps! :bugeyes:

How I get through this: I keep my chin up, I think a lot on the future (we'll be purchasing our first house when he gets home, and PCSing to a new post, so lots of exciting things!), and I talk to friends A LOT. Just staying busy, really.

I also think a lot on how PROUD I am of my husband! And I talk about him constantly...carry around a photo book to show people. This always brings me immense joy - and people love seeing pictures! It makes me feel like he's always with me, even when it's been forever since I've talked to him...:redbeathe

I hope this was worth the read...take good care and all the best to you and your husband!!!

Anna134 · Jul 17, 2008

hey my husband is in navy deployed in a/stan i am an RN in the ny area always looking to chat with people in same situation

RNSC · Jul 17, 2008

My hubby is in the reserves and has been on two deployments and is a contractor who just got back from a stint. Happy to talk. As a reservist, its harder because there is no base close by for the support.

luv'nlife068 · Jul 17, 2008

Hi...I nor my spouse is in the military, but I just wanted to send out a prayer and support for all of you who do have spouses deployed. We hear all the time to support out troops...and we definately do in this house, but I always think of you guys too. You are the ones left here to hold things together. I can't even begin to imagine what you go through and how hard that must be. But I just wanted to offer my support and tell you all how much I appreciate what you do here while your spouses are gone. Ya'll are awesome and couragous!! Lots of love and prayers to you all.... :bow: :loveya:

Anna134 · Jul 17, 2008

so very true hubby is a reservist so i have no real support in the military community he just started his deployment 2 months training then 9 months in afghanistan.. i am a community health nurse to i am lucky in the sense that i can basically make my own schedule and be here for the kids ... but it would be nice to chat with others who have gone or are going thru this experience

SoundofMusic · Jul 17, 2008

Thanks, everyone, for your replies and good wishes.

My hubby comes home in about a month now. It's been an incredible year -- my first in nursing as well. It's been a love/hate thing -- but I do feel working has helped the year go by fast. I also feel very proud of the fact I held it together -- not always perfectly, but mostly held it together.

I am not on a base -- not this time. I have been before and that wasn't always all it was cracked up to be. Many women on the bases get very emotional and they all just feed off each other. Many can get very weird -- and I don't miss that. We went through that the first time. Some of these women really fall apart.

Then again, it would be nice to have someone else going through it -- but someone is always going through it at least last year that I knew, or next year. Everyone goes now.

I also am SO proud of my husband -- just so proud. I just can't even express it. He is a good man who went twice when he was called, even though he didn't particularly voice his opinions of the war. He's just a very, very good man. Not many like him left. We've been married over 20 years and the day he steps off that plane I will just be ecstatic. I just pray all the time for his safety until it's all over.