Men: Are catty / backstabbing / selfish female nurses typical, or not?

[Streamline2010]

Men: Are catty / backstabbing / selfish female nurses typical, or not? I am asking because I am a career changer, from engineering and manufacturing, in predominantly male environments, to nursing, predominantly female. I even had one nursing school ask me during the interview whether I thought I'd be able to make the change from male profession (engineering) to female (nursing.) I don't think they liked my answer, and they were the ONLY school out of five that I applied to that didn't accept me.

Anyway, to read this board, nursing as a profession is one neverending ordeal of catty women, b'tchiness, scheming, and set-ups, and mind games, and everyone running scared because of (seemingly), character assininatoin and apparently a very real threat of losing their licenses.

Is this carp for real???!!! I know when I go to work, I am there to work. And I could really not care less whether I am loved or hated, but I do expect to be respected. And I do not want to work in any workplace where stupid high schooler games and pettiness are the norm. Right now, I can go find a job in my profession. I do not want to spend 12 to 24 months out of the workforce to change careers to a workforce full of roadblocks, stumbling blocks, and malicious behavior.

Here's another snip from a career-changer (female) who is also wondering the same thing:

Another concern is if I do go to school, and graduate, will I hate working with other nurses. Will it be catty and will it be a constant fight and dread when I go into work dealing with employees. What is the work environment like. Will I be treated like an idiot because I am a new nurse learning really and will I be constantly having to watch my back so not to be set up to lose my license because the doctor screwed up orders or what not. These are very scary things to consider. Can anyone out there tell me why I should consider nursing? Or maybe it is just not for me.

Yeah, maybe it's not for me, either, is what I am starting to think after reading all of these posts here. I don't go for a lot of BS people getting in the way of co-workers getting their job(s) done. Is the work atmosphere REALLY that toxic??

[GM2RN]

I worked on a med-surg unit in Florida for about a year once. My head nurse was in the process of getting a divorce and I was the only male on the unit. After the first 3 months I was "counseled" by my head nurse for my "attitude" even though there had been no complaints and my co-workers told me it was because of her situation at home. I was skeptical that someone would let their personal life into the professional setting and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong. Over the next 6 months, this continued to the point I was looking for another job. Before I found one I was terminated, For the next 6 months, when I would apply for jobs and was required to inform the new prospective employer of my last job termination, the prospective employer would contact my old job and the head nurse would fax my entire job personnel folder to them!!! The new employer even asked me if I knew this was going on. I did not. I even found out that she had stuffed my folder with "disciplinary" comments of which I was not aware. I was out of work for almost a year and eventually went to travel nursing where I was able to discuss the situation in a more one-on-one setting with an understanding male recruiter that had gone through a similar experience. I was advised to sue, but I just wanted to get back to work, and after being out of work for a while had no resources to do that anyway. That was 10 years ago and I haven't had any problems like that since.......but I agree that sometimes, if a woman does something, "that is just the way she is.Try to steer clear of her." If a man does the same thing, or sometimes less, you can be disciplined or fired.

Of course, a man would NEVER do something so petty...

But if you want to talk about toxic environments, I have one for you...

I work in the ED, which attracts many type A personalities, including me at times. No big deal, I can work with just about anybody because I tend not to take things too personally.

However, we had one male nurse that was often just impossible to work with. He had some fabulous nursing skills, and patients mostly loved him, but he was hell on other nurses and his ego was bigger than than the state of Texas. He had worked in some very large level 1 trauma hospitals and never tired of telling the rest of us how good he was. If he thought another nurse wasn't up to his standards, he would yell at and belittle that nurse.

Like I already said, I don't take much to heart, but one day I had been pushed too far and yelled back at him. He was charge at the time and was so full of himself that he yelled at me that if I ever yelled at him again he would send me home. As if he could! I told him to go ahead; I would enjoy the rest of the night out of his presence and he could enjoy working short and taking care of my patients.

He worked in my ED for something more than a year, and despite complaints to the manager, nothing was ever done until he lost his temper and threw a stack of charts in the direction of the ED docs because they weren't working fast enough for him.

We also had another male nurse at the same time who was in his mid twenties. I'm in my early fifties and he tried to talk to me like a child a couple of time until I set him straight.

Then there is the DON, a male, who asked the younger male nurse in my presence one time who the "head dick" was that night, him or the other male nurse. It's also a running joke at my hospital that to be promoted as a female you have to be blond with big boobs.

So working in a mostly female environment may not be something that some men can deal with, but don't kid yourselves into thinking that working with men in a nursing environment doesn't also have its challenges.

[tencat]

One of the most unprofessional nurses I ever worked with was a man. I think when one works in a job where there is tons of responsibility, but little control over outcomes or direction of work, workers tend to turn on each other, whether they be female or male. Many areas of nursing, especially in the hospital setting, do not give nurses the autonomy to work effectively and expect them to control many things they just can't control. I wouldn't work in a hospital again unless I had no other options.

[systoly]

No, it's not typical. Most nurses are truly caring individuals. I do believe the way you carry yourself will greatly influence your experience. I don't care if your female or male, there's a job to do and if I need help I don't have time to worry about what gender you are.

[DC Collins, ASN]

I find that most of the gals treat me really well and most of the ones that I'm around don't abide the cattiness thing... with one very notable exception.

There always has to be that one though...lol.

DC, ED RN :)