Latest Comments by zologista

zologista 1,285 Views

Joined: Feb 24, '07; Posts: 14 (29% Liked) ; Likes: 10

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  • 4

    [font=fixedsys]i have learned that the more asinine the complaint the longer a patient will wait in a busy er to be seen.

    [font=fixedsys][color=#48d1cc]i have also learned that the patient with the most asinine complaint will have a very very poor sense of personal hygiene.

    [font=fixedsys][color=#48d1cc]i have also learned that that same patient will visit you very often (sometimes daily) with many many many different complaints. "i stubbed my toe and i need dr. so&so to look at it"

    [font=fixedsys]i have learned that the reason that asinine stinky pt knows that dr so&so is working is because he or she knows the doctors' cars. :icon_roll

  • 0

    Quote from angie o'plasty, rn
    when i see the word "versed" in a conversational context and read it as the drug, "ver-sed."

    if it took you a full five minutes to figure out what it could be besides ver-sed. hahahaha

    if you can drink an entire liter of water in under 30 secs cuz you just know you will not get another drink this shift.

    t-bone does not make your mouth water...it sends you running to prepare the er for multi-victum trauma.

    when someone outside work complains of an ache or pain, you ask well what did you take for it? prior to offering sympathy of any kind.

  • 2

    while changing an iv bag in the middle of the night, "don't mind me i am just giving you some more "go" juice. you know so you will go and go and go" rolling eyes toward the bathroom.

    while a shy patient is undressing, "don't worry if you have something i have never seen before, i will shoot it!"

    removing anything sticky like tape or ekg pads etc, "don't worry we do not charge extra for hair removal."

  • 0

    i like:
    "there is no cure for stupidity"
    "i may be fat, but you are ugly and i can diet."
    "spock was not vulcan, he was autistic with pointy ears"

  • 0

    i once worded a request to a md the wrong way.
    me:"doctor i was going to ask you if mr ***** could have a flutter valve after his breathing tx's."
    doc:"what changed your mind?"
    shocked me speachless and took me a full minute to say
    "can mr ***** have a flutter valve."
    whole nurses station busted up laughing mainly because they had never seen me speechless.

    when ed doc informed me of an admission to med/surg i said "ok but next admission gets your room."
    both laughed and i entered nurses station to discuss with cna where to put new admit, md overheard the discussion of 3 male beds left, 2 female beds left and all rooms "dirty." (meaning no place for something not infectious).
    md said, "you were serious weren't you."
    i said, "yep"
    funny enough no more admissions that night.

  • 1
    Penelope_Pitstop likes this.

    do not refrain from medicating a child's fever just because you want to show the staff "how high it really is." febrile seizures will scare you.

    do not ask the md for an increase in bp meds so you can eat more salt, especially do not make an ed visit in the middle of the night to ask this. the md will get mad.

    do not call 911 at 0300am and insist on transport to the ed for cc of "i cant make love to my wife." again the md will get mad, he might yell at you. in addition the entire nursing staff will remember you and tell the story everytime you come to the same small hospital ed.

    do not be seen by nursing staff eating an "alsups" burrito when you have been told repeatedly that you need an esphogeal dilitation and then call 911 in the middle of the night for cc chest pain. not only will we know it is bad reflux, but we will tell the story of you calling 911 for "i can't make love to my wife." and just for fun you will still get an 16g twin cath, after all you did complain of chest pain and we still have to follow cp protocol.

    do not liquify your durgesic patch and shoot it into you central line. three days worth of pain med all at once will cause you to stop breathing.

    do not get thrown in jail in the midst of a series of gender reassignment surgeries. if you do, do not slip and fall and knock your breast implants against a sink, knock it askew and insist to be taken to ed in the middle of the night. do not return two days later when said breast is now much smaller. the md will say the same both times. you need a plastic surgeon. it is not life threatening. no the county does not have to pay for it. the md will be mad when he says it both times in the middle of the night.

    dont forget to teach children at very young age that foreign objects do not belong in body cavities. do not forget to mention, ears, nose, belly buttons, and various openings in the nether regions.

    playdough smells bad after 1 week in a nostril. it turns black and becomes fuzzy.

    if child suddenly develops sever foul body odor despite multiple baths everyday, have md check said orifices.


    this thread has been tons of fun!!!

  • 0

    well thanks so much. as a matter of fact it was age-as they call it here. (acute gastroenteritis). and in fact when she came in they thought she was in dka because she was acidotic and her sugar was 305. however hbg a1c was normal and a dose of bicarb actually corrected her sugar without insulin being given and she was able to go home yesterday afternoon. her am lab did show an elevated potassium however and her fluids was changed in the early am.
    thanks for all your concern and help.
    zolo

  • 3

    don't we all have enough stories like this to fill a book or two. they are what make nursing less stressfull, and face it sometimes you just have to laugh or you will cry.

    one night i was orienting a new nurse to the ltc facility where i worked. there was only one nurse at night and a crew of 3 cna's. we had a locked alzheimer's unit but if they were sleeping at night we would go ahead and open the doors so the cna assigned to that unit wouldn't have to sit with only the looney's for company. we were between rounds and i was doing some charting and showing the new nurse our paper work when we hear whoooooooooooohoooooooooo! coming from the alzhiemer's unit. we entered the pt's room to find him riding his stationary bike totally naked. in addition to the "danglies" (lol btw) he had finger painted the entire room. (now i know any nurse that has been a nurse longer than a month knows what finger painting is. for the students' claification, he did not use finger paint.) well, feeling like showering the pt would be easier than cleaning the entire room of feces, i and the nurse i was oreintating took this blind alzhiemer's pt to the shower. all went well till we came to the "danglies". then the pt said "i can tell there are two of you by your voices, but that doesn't matter. i can take ya both." that was the shortest shower i have ever given.

    another time when i was working er and med/surg in a rual setting, we had a lady come in that said she cut her finger. her husband was at her side. he very calmly and matter of factly told us she was fighting demon possession. (in all reality she was pissed cuz her 18 yr old son went on his senior trip without her permission, and she was throwing a huge fit)! well i am one that respects other people's belief system so i gave them both the benefit of the doubt. in just a minute before we even had her paper work filled out good, the "demon possessed" woman looks at me just as calmly as could be and says "i feel the demon coming" and then screams right in my face. her husband asks if he can be alone with her for just a moment, i think to myself gladly, so i leave the er and go to the nurses station and proceed to turn the sound up on the video. (the entire staff is gathered around the monitor by this time.) i hear the man praying and saying "in the name of jesus i command you to be gone." then he smacks her dead in the middle of her forehead and she falls back on the stretcher. omg it took me almost a full 30 secs to run back to the er to protect my pt. when i got there they were both just as calm as they could be.

    well i could go on and on. but i will only share one last one. my mother was working as a ward clerk/unit secretary. i was a candy striper at that time at the same hospital. i was in 7th grade and the ward was having a horrible night. one of those full moon nights. all the nurses and cna's were running there legs off and as a young candy striper i couldnt help much. anyway no one was around and all of a sudden this elderly black minister comes up to my mother at the nurses station and demands to see the administrator. my mother was aghast thinking that something was horribly wrong for this sweet caring man to be complaining. so mother asked "rev. b**** what's the problem? can i help?" rev b**** proceeds to tell her, "well i am mad cuz i died 4 hrs ago and i still haven't been embalmed." lol. i wish i had been there to see mom's face. i just had to share that one because now as a 37 yr old, mom and i still die in laughter about this story.

  • 0

    thank you so much for your time. i appreciate the current information. my concern stemmed mainly from the fact that the child had 500ccns with 15meq of kcl running which i felt was extraordinally high for a child of 2 yrs old. i work night shift and it will be interesting to see how her labs looked this am.
    thanks again for your time.

  • 0

    thank you for the welcome. tweety you sure do have lots of posts. what else do you do? are you able to eat? lol!!!
    [color=#48d1cc]sure is good to meet you. what kind of nursing do you practice?

  • 0

    it sucks giving dilantin iv, i once saw another nurse give it way too fast and we ended up coding the pt. slightly better in it's new form but still scares me.
    [color=#48d1cc]
    [color=#48d1cc]and i want to meet the nurse that likes giving stuff in orifices or stuff that makes stuff come out of orifices. actually maybe i should say i wouldn't want to meet that nurse. i don't think any of us like giving those kinds of meds.

  • 0

    greetings,
    [color=#48d1cc]it sounds as if you are all seasoned pediatric nurses. as for me, i recently moved. i was employed by a small rual hospital that serves pediatrics as well as geriatrics and everything in between. i floated between med/surg which includes pediatrics and er. i am currently in a similar situation. a small town hospital can be an advantage because generally our pt load is much smaller, however, one disadvantage is that we can not afford to specialize. we are jacks of all trades but masters of none.
    [color=#48d1cc]i was wondering if there is a contraindication in giving pediatric pt and specifically children under 2 ns for extended periods of time. the last place that i worked generally ordered d51/4ns for the pediatric pt. the doctors at this hospital generally order ns. i went to school 14 almost 15 years ago and i seem to remember that pediatrics shouldn't have ns for extended periods due to renal function. does anyone have any information on this, or a trusted website with information?
    [color=#48d1cc]thanks for your help
    [color=#48d1cc]zologista

  • 0

    greetings,
    [color=#48d1cc]it sounds as if you are all seasoned pediatric nurses. as for me, i recently moved. i was employed by a small rual hospital that serves pediatrics as well as geriatrics and everything in between. i floated between med/surg which includes pediatrics and er. i am currently in a similar situation. a small town hospital can be an advantage because generally our pt load is much smaller, however, one disadvantage is that we can not afford to specialize. we are jacks of all trades but masters of none.
    [color=#48d1cc]related to your question, we have a policy to use buretrols with pediatric pt under 70lbs.
    [color=#48d1cc]on a related subject, i was wondering if there is a contraindication in giving pediatric pt and specifically children under 2 ns for extended periods of time. the last place that i worked generally ordered d51/4ns for the pediatric pt. the doctors at this hospital generally order ns. i went to school 14 almost 15 years ago and i seem to remember that pediatrics shouldn't have ns for extended periods due to renal function. does anyone have any information on this, or a trusted website with information?
    [color=#48d1cc]thanks for your help
    [color=#48d1cc]zologista

  • 0

    greetings to all,
    [color=#48d1cc]i acutually find the site by using ask to search for iv fluids for pediatric patients. i am excited to be a part of a nursing forum for fellow professionals.
    [color=#48d1cc]zologista



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