Meetings

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2017

I have to go to 3 per week It is an honor system. My Nurse Support group unfortunately does not count as one. I have a Depression/Bipolar Support group (that *I* searched out and found and lobbied to include.) Trust me it ain't no 12 step thing thing either!! If a couple of hours of driving were not involved, i would make more of those meetings. They are wayyyy more "mutually supportative"!!

The other 2, i go to AA, which i find hilarious since besides the fact that i don't have substance abuse issues to begin with (like i don't even smoke) i loathe the taste of anything with alcohol in it and i am on bipolar medication that uhhh strongly suggests one should not drink anyway. Anyhow, i go, I sit in the back of the room and read or peruse Facebook (or All Nurses, Ha Ha!) on my iPad and slip out as soon as politely possible. They say I have to go. No one said anything about participating.

In spite of the total BS of me having to go, i don't like to lie, even though the program appears to have no problem with lying their face off. i find it curious that something that is so 12 step infested has no problem with lying. Is not one of the tenants of 12-step philosophy to be honest?

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 21, 2017

I don't like to lie either but it seems to me that showing up at a voluntary 12 step meeting only because I'm forced to be there is a lie and disrespectful to the folks that find meaning in it. I'm sure I'll keep going for the next couple of years out of fear that I'll violate my contract and they will have an excuse to extend my contract or throw me out but it don't feel right. I also sit in the back and don't contribute except for the buck I throw in the collection. I'm respectful but don't find meaning in it

malamud69, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2017

Sad and disrespectful that we are coerced into going to what amounts to nothing more than ruminations on junk science with religious hokum abounding! The so called "recovery" movement literally side steps the centuries of psychological scientific inquiry for ease of use and quite frankly a laziness that if anything simply reflects the horrific state of our medical system at large.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 22, 2017

I only have anecdotal evidence of how well the rehab industry works based upon my experience. When I went to inpatient I was one of the rare people there for the first time. Most of the people there were clearly trying to avoid jail time or (like me) trying to save our jobs. Of the sixty in my class it seemed only a few decided to check into rehab on their own. I was there for 24 days. We had one OD in house. People were actively using in their rooms at night and several people started partying in the parking lot when discharged. I was in a "small group" that rotated 12 people during my time in rehab and presently I'm the only one not drinking or using the rest didn't make it 6 months. I then got sent to IOP where once again we had an OD while I was there, multiple failed drug tests and few people who even wanted to get clean. When the OD lady came back to IOP they tried to talk her into going back to inpatient & she said flatly she would rather die. I agreed with her and our "professional" counselor pouted the rest of the week. I honestly think the meetings are much better. It seems most of the people are there because they want to be. I'm not but that's my issue. Many of these folks get something out of these meetings but then again they want to be there. I think rehab would have a much better chance of working if we only sent people there who wanted to be there. Instead it has turned into an obvious money machine for the people in the industry

PixieRN1 · Oct 22, 2017

I only have anecdotal evidence of how well the rehab industry works based upon my experience. When I went to inpatient I was one of the rare people there for the first time. Most of the people there were clearly trying to avoid jail time or (like me) trying to save our jobs. Of the sixty in my class it seemed only a few decided to check into rehab on their own. I was there for 24 days. We had one OD in house. People were actively using in their rooms at night and several people started partying in the parking lot when discharged. I was in a "small group" that rotated 12 people during my time in rehab and presently I'm the only one not drinking or using the rest didn't make it 6 months. I then got sent to IOP where once again we had an OD while I was there, multiple failed drug tests and few people who even wanted to get clean. When the OD lady came back to IOP they tried to talk her into going back to inpatient & she said flatly she would rather die. I agreed with her and our "professional" counselor pouted the rest of the week. I honestly think the meetings are much better. It seems most of the people are there because they want to be. I'm not but that's my issue. Many of these folks get something out of these meetings but then again they want to be there. I think rehab would have a much better chance of working if we only sent people there who wanted to be there. Instead it has turned into an obvious money machine for the people in the industry

I think it's just incredibly complex and definitely under reasearched. It's a great question.

For me personally, I didn't have to go to inpatient rehab because my DOC didn't cause withdrawal (that is what the intake person said at least) but I had to go to IOP forever.

In the interest of being honest, I am very disappointed to say that if I wasn't being investigated by the BON at the time, I wouldn't have sought any help. I know this.

I was pretty far in the dumpster as far as these things go. I would have died with my habit, bar none. I was hospitalized when I became septic from endocarditis and my hospitalist reported me for my use, even though I wasn't working as a nurse at the time. Restrospectively, I was in AWFUL shape and do not blame her. However, I was pissed as all get out at the time.

So I don't know what to think. Honestly, in the early days, I wasn't happy at all about being clean. It wasn't until my brain had some decent time away from marinating in insane levels of my DOC that I began to get any perspective. After a couple months of being clean, I eventually decided that a clean and sober life was what I really personally wanted, but I must be honest and say that without the BON and drug tests and all the other hoopla in the beginning, I don't know when I would have landed in treatment.

I wonder if part of it is that the user has to have something that is at stake that they aren't willing to lose? And I think that some addicts just don't feel that they have anything worth saving in that moment? I don't know, this is pure conjecture on my part.

I agree with you; this type of research isn't abundant. I often wonder what would have happened if my doctor didn't have knowledge that I was a nurse, ergo I wouldn't have been reported. Would I have hit that point where I was willing to go to treatment? Would I have kept using and ended up with repeated episodes of sepsis and endocarditis? Lost my marriage? Lost my kids? Lost my life? I'd like to think I would have gotten treatment of my own choice eventually.

But I just don't know.

Thank you for your very interesting topic and allowing me to share my own musings and internal questions on the subject. Keep them coming!

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 22, 2017

Pixie thank you for your thoughtful response as always

stickybun · Oct 22, 2017

I'm required to attend two a week in addition to my nurse support group, after care and therapy. That's five obligations/meetings a week. We use affinity/spectrum and have to log in at the meeting. GPS logs your location.

Sometimes I get something out of those meetings and sometimes I don't. I resent them less than the aftercare which is an hour of shooting the **** and a total waste of my time.

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PixieRN1 · Oct 22, 2017

I'm required to attend two a week in addition to my nurse support group, after care and therapy. That's five obligations/meetings a week. We use affinity/spectrum and have to log in at the meeting. GPS logs your location.
Sometimes I get something out of those meetings and sometimes I don't. I resent them less than the aftercare which is an hour of shooting the **** and a total waste of my time.
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GPS login??? Holy crap factory!!

catsmeow1972, BSN, RN · Oct 22, 2017

I continue to manually enter the meeting log online as I have always done. One of mine is a non 12 step thing that I searched out and sought approval for and has to be manually entered anyway. I refuse to do any kind of GPS logging of anything. I'm not on state probation wearing an ankle monitor. :no: They can KMA on that.

SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN · Oct 22, 2017

Couldn't you just log in when you get to the parking lot & leave?

Recovering_RN · Oct 23, 2017

I'm required to attend 4 meetings per week, and the nurse support mtg can count as one. In the first two years of a three year sentence, we log the meeting location, date and time into our program's website (was Recoverytrek, now Spectrum/Affinity). We are also supposed to get a signature sheet signed at every meeting, but these we keep just in case we are ever audited. No one that I have ever heard of has been asked to show their signature sheets, and I can't see how they'd ever prove any of the signatures were false as most are unreadable scribbles and aren't true signatures as they are only first names. For the third year I am expected to continue to attend but do not have to log the meetings online or get the signature page signed, although they do suggest continuing with the signatures as a means of reinforcement (yeah that's gonna happen).

I really enjoyed meeting the people. I attended three different NA groups and two different AA groups while looking for a group that fit my schedule and my personality. I had to change groups both times I started a new job because of schedule conflicts and wanting to find a closer location. I found friendship and gained an easier time talking about the difficulties in staying sober, admitting it out loud was so strange at first so these groups helped me with that. But after a few months I got sick of them, stopped really getting much more than friendship and comraderie out of them. Also got weirded out by the cult-like feel of some of it, the rote repetition and vocabulary that I saw people using, esp seeing brand new people start picking up the lingo. It's not all bad, it's kind of what keeps us all together as a unit ("working the steps", "keep coming back!") it just isn't my thing and I don't really gain anything from it.